To want to take a sick day when I’m not sick

[Charlottestar]

I’m not sick but I AM very tired. Desperate for a day to myself …

would you

There’s no one who can / will have him, unfortunately.

He can go to nursery when I’m off which is brilliant and I love it but so often that time just gets eaten in those little bits you just can’t do during term time - hair and dentist and car services /MOT and hospital appointments and smear tests … then before you know it it’s half three and almost time to get ds.

Plus, the nursery is (understandably) not open over Christmas. So my next ‘break’ is feb half term.

Im just having a fantasy of being alone in my house. I also have a similar one when I go past a house for sale on the way into work. In my fantasy I buy it and go there two days a week when ds is at nursery and I have baths and watch crap telly and sleep …

If you died tomorrow your employer would soon replace you. Take a day off and recoup. Can't pour from an empty cup

Totally depends what you do. If you could take a day off and your work would just sit there waiting then I'd do it

If it's something that your colleagues would have to cover you for then absolutely not

Some staff where I work take loads of time off (some are under HR watch) and others, including me, have to give up our prep time to cover

I get 1 afternoon down time a week to prep and do Admin. I've lost it for 4 of the last 7 weeks - which means I have to take more work home and it fucks me right off

Now I would disagree there @adviceseeker77 as I really have dragged myself in before, I’ve fainted in school, been sick, sat at my desk shaking going hot and cold and hot and cold, once hobbled around practically in half as my back was bad …

Looking back it’s so easy to say wtf was I doing, why did I go in. I suppose because with the back in particular it wasn’t as bad when I wasn’t in the sitting position and also you sometimes feel OK - not great but OK - until you’re actually trying to teach a class and then think mmmm… maybe not.

so I don’t think it’s true at all that people who are so ill they can’t work just somehow know.

You got two days over half term and decided to spend one of them getting your hair done. You easily could have cancelled and spent the time chilling.

Can little one go in nursery more days during school holidays occasionally ? Who has them the other three days? Can they have them for some extra time?

It doesn't matter if you are a teacher / TA / PA / Accountant / Road Sweeper. if you are feeling exhausted then you need to take the day to reover. It's the employer who can arrange cover or cope without for the day.
It's usually the people who don't do a solid day'sm work who say "You can't possibly force others to cover for your".. I do a solid days' work, and if someone needs a day to get their head right or is just exhausted I'm the first to say that they need it. If it were to do christmas shopping early then no, but exhaustion from looking after a child because the father isn't involved is a very satisfactory reason in my book.

He goes to nursery three days a week. He didn’t attend one of those this half term as we were at a funeral

I did decide to get my hair done instead of chilling, I know, I shall add that to my list of character flaws. Vacuous and lazy!

Yep @Charlottestar so it sounds like on all those occasions (when you were hobbling, vomiting etc)... you were clearly ill and should have stayed off!

But I disagree with the poster above who says 'if you're feeling exhausted you need a day off to recover'. Some people are exhausted non-stop for years when their children are little. Should they all just stay off work until the kids are 5? I hate to say it, but I fear the looming recession will put a stop to all this sort of chat.

I hear you, OP, and you have my full sympathies.
But unfortunately, now that you have admitted to being a teacher, there will be no end to the kicking you're going to receive on this thread. The ones kicking hardest will possibly be those who are frequenting the "working from home" thread, who seem to think it's actually OK to just answer a few emails and make a call or two whilst also looking after toddlers all day but call it a full-time job. They are also quite possibly the same posters who accuse teachers of not understanding the "real world" of the private/corporate sector.
I'd love to see them last even half an hour in your average classroom in the UK.

So, yes. I would say to take a day off and don't spend one single minute of it feeling guilty.

I know and I know it is normal, won’t last forever and so on. However, in fairness I do think there’s a fine line between run down and tired and unwell, one can lead to the other v quickly IME.

I fear the looming recession will put a stop to all this sort of chat

I have lived through four recessions, this will be the fifth, I don’t think people stopped taking the odd sickies in them!

I have taken the odd sick day in the past due to just generally feeling tired and shitty, not particularly 'sick' but just knowing I need a day to rest. Do it.

There’s no one who can / will have him, unfortunately.

Kindly OP, you really need to address this. Life with a toddler and working full time is very full and exhausting never mind doing it as a single parent! A sick day is a sticking plaster.

You need to develop a support network of other mum friend and neighbour who can help you out occasionally and you can do likewise for them. You've got a long road ahead and once they go to school it gets more complicated.

School shuts as the boiler breaks, who'll mind him? After school club has burst pipes, childminder sick.
A relative of mine was in similar position to you and she became very good friends with another couple of single mums so and it really helped to share the load.

I take about 2 fake sick days a year. Always have, always will. It's a discretionary tax that I charge my employer.
To anyone clutching your pearls....you've officially drunk the Cool Aid 😉

I have mum friends, but no one who will take my toddler for the day so I can sleep, funnily enough! I’m not actually a single parent either, although get the confusion re that answer.

Ha, yes, I'm aware some people take sick days regardless of the economic circumstances.

But at the risk of overlapping with the current thread about Gen Z attitudes to work, in my own (private sector) industry, there is an entitlement displayed by a lot of staff right now which is driven by the security they have in knowing that we are really struggling to recruit, and they could easily get jobs for competitors if needed. The very opposite was the case in 2008, with hiring freezes, whole departments being shut down, redundancy fears etc.

People who desperately need their jobs and fear losing them in tough economic climates tend not to be slacking, either through pulling sickies or in any other way.

So you're not a single parent, you only work part-time, you get about 12 weeks off a year and you send your child to nursery when you're on leave. But you want to throw a sickie because you're tired? Grow up.

CORRECT.

So are you a single parent or not?
And you say you have mum friends but there's not one of them who you could say "look Clare I'm not feeling good at moment and really need to go back to bed, could you possibly have Sam for a few hours for me?"

YABU for asking in AIBU 😂

Nothing nicer than a day at home to yourself, on your own.

So lovely for your colleagues who are having to do your work for you.

Would the answers be the same if this were a lorry driver saying they were run down, exhausted and couldn't concentrate?
Or a surgeon?

No "everyone" doesn't.

I remember those days of exhaustion with a toddler, in fact when I worked 3 days a week with a toddler and baby, working was definitely my rest. However, I am lucky that my job is not as full on and demanding as yours. I would take the day off this time.

I'm not sure I agree with people saying that mum friends can help in this kind of situation. I had good friends and we'd meet up often, but noone who would have looked after my kids for a day purely because I was tired. Everyone with toddlers is tired and life is busy.

Some of my friends are primary school teachers and it is really only when their kids start school that life gets easier.

@StrataZon you are right that I can’t think of any of my friends id ask that of. In an emergency - as in hospital maybe but not run of the mill tiredness.

It is run of the mill, but it does tend to grind you down after a while. I’m feeling it at the moment.

Im not a single parent - but dad is not involved at all, which isn’t contradictory. Truth, he is yet more work at the moment.

It is not forever and I am repeating this and there are many lovely things about life just now but for a whole host of reasons I’m fantasising about a week off. I’m not going to do it. Talking about wanting to shouldn’t invite horrible comments about my character.

It sounds like you are close to burning out which is worse for you, your students, and your colleges in the long run.

Mental health is just as important as physical health so take a day off if you need it