DH recommends me a hair salon

[outlinetop]

Very weirdly DH texted me on Weds eve with the details of a hairdresser in a salon in Marylebone. It was 10:45 pm and he was out with work clients/on his way home, I'm not sure which. He's never done that before.

I send him a "?" to which he didn't reply.

Asked him about it again today, and he said - oh yes, I saw someone with a really nice haircut and asked her where she got it done and she told me so I sent it to you.
I asked him who this person was - apparently a random lady on the train platform in London. Quizzed on her age - "about your age".

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off he is asking random women for their hairdresser? He claims it was "for me". We don't live in London, but I do go there for haircuts. He knows I'm trying to find a local hairdresser who is good, but why would this make him ask a random on a London train platform.

And when he texted you in front of her, she realised he definitely wasn't.

Don't think op said it was a lone woman. Are people making that up? She could of been with friends, husband.

I don’t think it’s kind and sweet! I don’t think he should be approaching a woman on her own late at night in a station and tbh most men wouldn’t do that.

I don't think it's 'sweet' I think it's bloody weird behaviour to walk up to a completely strange woman at 10.45 at night on a London train platform and ask her where she had her hair done.

What happen to men keeping well clear of lone women so that a woman won't feel threatened or intimidated by a random man getting too close to her?

She probably already had her keys in her hand in case a strange man made her feel uncomfortable or threatened, this must have really freaked her out.

People in London don't talk to strangers on train platforms unless to ask them for money or to mug them.

Tell him to leave lone women alone at night OP.

It makes them very uncomfortable to have strange men starting conversations with them and asking them personal questions about their appearance.

People regularly tome to ask where I got my hair done (my hairdresser is a genius!!) I've never found it intrusive, I'm always flattered

Tome = stop!

Random members of the public having a friendly exchange in London?? Surely not.

@5yearplan @pigsDOfly

The OP said he approached a random lady on the train platform. Where does it say she was on her own or she was a lone woman? You’ve literally both made that up

Could he have meant to send the message to another person, not you? And come up with this excuse as a cover up?

Where does it say she was a lone woman?

Not everyone feels threatened by small talk, even if it is in London at night.

This is somewhat sad. Topic should be: “DH attempts to help me with a problem; I treat him like an arsehole.” What’s the root of this? You’re upset he talked to a random woman? You’re upset it was at 10:45 at night (not sure why this matters at all; we’ve already established he wasn’t hitting on her and no one said she was alone)? You’re upset about something completely unrelated so you’re fighting about this? Whatever it is, don’t punish your husband for trying to be thoughtful (unless he’s really mucked something up on purpose), or he’ll stop trying.

I'm looking for a local hairdresser - we don't live in London. So I'm not looking for one in London.

I don't think it's sweet. I would take it the wrong way too. Men never notice women's hair, so he must have really been paying attention. Wtf asking her too, that's weird.

No thanks...I don't want a clone hair style of the woman you found attractive at the train station. Off you fuck.

Agree -sounds like a gross flirtation.
Guess he was drunk and text you thinking it was a charming story? Then had to rationalise it into a normal thing?

No way he asked a random women in a tube station in LONDON where she gets her hair cut. Unless he's drunk or off his head on something.

A real drama would be if you weren’t looking for a hairdresser and he drunkenly messaged you something meant for another woman. Instead, it looks like he saw a woman while he was out and thought of helping you straight away. That’s pretty sweet. The only thing annoying is him sending it without any context so you had no idea what he was on about!

Exactly. He 'didn't notice' if she was attractive' as he saw her hair from the back.... yeah right

Oop, okay, I'm sorry if I made it up that she was on her own.

Whatever, even if she was surrounded by 10 huge men and a pack of attack dogs I still stand by my point that it's bloody weird behaviour for a man to approach a strange woman and ask her where she goes to get her hair done.

But you did say in your OP that you go to London for your haircuts, so it's not hugely outlandish to suggest another London hairdresser, surely?

He saw a woman with nice hair and immediately thought of you and openly messaged you about it. I wouldn't have a problem with this.

I think it's really bizarre that your husband did that and that there's more to this story.
But looks like I'm one of the few.

Asking someone in your workplace is a bit different to asking a random stranger late at night.

And while I'm sure he wasn't being inappropriate, if I was on my own waiting for a train and a man I didn't know asked me about my hair I would be a bit freaked out.

This is a prime example of why men can't win. No matter what they do, even of well intended or helpful, they are criticised for how and why they do it.

If your friend or sister or brother did the exact same thing....knew you were looking for a hairdresser & got a reccommendation would your reaction be the same.

I think you are being rridiculous.

If someone said they liked my hair I’d think they were hitting on me. If someone actually asked me where I got my hair cut, I’d assume they were either after a lady’s hair cut themselves or asking for a friend, relative or wife. You are being insanely jealous and ridiculous for absolutely no reason.

Exactly. He 'didn't notice' if she was attractive' as he saw her hair from the back.... yeah right

Ok so the real issue is that you have an issue with the fact he spoke to another woman who he possibly found attractive. The hairdresser is almost irrelevant here...