DH recommends me a hair salon

[outlinetop]

Very weirdly DH texted me on Weds eve with the details of a hairdresser in a salon in Marylebone. It was 10:45 pm and he was out with work clients/on his way home, I'm not sure which. He's never done that before.

I send him a "?" to which he didn't reply.

Asked him about it again today, and he said - oh yes, I saw someone with a really nice haircut and asked her where she got it done and she told me so I sent it to you.
I asked him who this person was - apparently a random lady on the train platform in London. Quizzed on her age - "about your age".

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off he is asking random women for their hairdresser? He claims it was "for me". We don't live in London, but I do go there for haircuts. He knows I'm trying to find a local hairdresser who is good, but why would this make him ask a random on a London train platform.

Poor bloke.

Hairdressers are important to us, and it's hard finding a decent one. He was being insanely thoughtful.

If he was cheating on you the LAST thing he would be doing would be sending you details of her hairdresser....🙄

I think it’s really odd. I can’t imagine my husband going up to a woman and saying ‘excuse me, your hair looks lovely, where do you have it done?’ I’d be mortified if he did. And if a man did it to me then yes, I’d be really disconcerted and think it was odd. Who are all these people saying it’s sweet of him? Please ask your husbands to just leave women going about their business alone.

YABU you are looking for a hairdresser, you normally get your hair done in London, He was thinking of you on his commute .

So you’re looking for a London hairdresser, he found you one and now you’re complaining?

Yep

being upset makes no sense at all

God you sound like hard work. You're looking for a hairdresser in London, saw a woman similarish style or age to you, asked her and now you have an issue? Maybe you'll get lucky and he won't bother his arse noticing anything for you in future.

@Railwaydogs

Why?

What’s wrong with it?

Over the years people have ask me where I got XYZ, and I’ve told them.

Saying - excuse me, my wife’s got hair just like yours and I like your cut, would you mind telling me your hairdresser? isn’t harassment, it’s normal human discourse.

Mortified.. get a fucking grip on yourself

I had a boyfriend (now ex, thank god) who used to come shopping with me (not at my request) and then phone his sister for her opinion on the things I tried on (again not at my request). So I'd come out of the changing room and he'd be there saying "Alice says everyone's wearing bootcut jeans not flares" or whatever, and it used to drive me absolutely crazy because I really didn't want her opinion, I had my own views and I disliked the implication that I needed advice and felt that it made me look like a dick in front of her, whereas actually I was just going out with a dick. I wonder whether this is a bit how OP feels.

Context, you see - a man going up to a woman on a station platform late at night and asking a personal question about her appearance, yes I’d find that intrusive and think he was hitting on me and yes, I’d be mortified if my husband did that to a lone woman going about her business, late a night on a railway platform. Perhaps you’ve never been hit on by random men while using public transport but for me at least, it’s never welcome.

Anyway, you be sure to have a nice day, random angry stranger on the internet

That’s a really weird thing to do at 10:45pm in london.

So you don't think it was meant for his mistress, you don't think it's code to his drug dealer, you don't think it's anything wayward at all. But you're pissed off anyway because he did something nice?

Do you think he might have intimidated this woman unintentionally? Come across as a sleaze or a predator?

Most of us on this thread are women and don’t think being asked where we get our hair done equates to asking a personal question about her appearance. It’s not an intrusive or unpleasant interaction.

And London Bridge station is very busy, extremely well lit, has lots of security and is not what most people would consider an unsafe environment (which is what I assume you were alluding with on a station platform late at night).

Nothing even remotely mortifying about it.

There's a huge difference tho between "hey lady, your hair looks lovely as do you, where do you have it done?" whilst staring at her breasts and fondling her hair and
... Polite chat about train times... "this might sound odd, but my wife is looking for a new hairdresser round here, yours look decent, can I ask where you go" whilst maintaining distance and eye contact

🙄

Any chance I could get the name of the salon? 😁

You sound really hard work OP.

I found my hairdresser by asking a woman in the supermarket where she got her hair done.

Yeah, sleaze and unwanted attention-wise, the question is, did he hang around afterwards, trying to make conversation with her?

Polite question, thanks for answer, moves away = fine.

Seemingly polite question as opening of attempt to hit on her, or naively 'friendly' behaviour indistinguishable from this = not ok.

she was apparently waiting for the train in front of him and he randomly said 'excuse me, where do you get your hair done?'

To be fair I have done this myself, asked a random stranger where they got their hair done when I was on the search for a decent hairdresser. I think it was quite nice of your DH to think of this...

So because you can't imagine your husband doing it, it's odd?

People talk to other people. Sometimes those people are strangers It's a totally normal part of the human experience. The world would be a very lonely place if people never spoke to each other.

OP doesn’t live in London but gets her haircut there.
OP is currently on the hunt for a hairdressers.
DP is outside and spots a woman with a nice haircut, approaches her and asks where she got her hair done.
DP then let’s OP know the name of the hairdresser so she can go and check it out for herself.

What the hell is the problem here?

Presumably you are really annoyed because you didn’t want him talking to another woman he thought looked attractive?

He sounds sweet. It’s a shame it annoyed you. Get over it, though.

What exactly is it about this that bothers you? Do you think he was trying to chat her up?

For what it’s worth I agree with you @Railwaydogs ! The ridiculous answers on here sometimes!

And I don’t. The ridiculous answers on here sometimes!