Aibu to not ban my friends from smoking on my deck ?

[Tigertigertigertiger]

I’ll explain.
I live in the lower flat of a converted semi detached house with a retired couple living in the flat above.

I have a small deck with garden chairs out my front door - directly above it the neighbours have a small balcony - half my deck is covered by their balcony which is great as I can sit outside If it’s raining and stay dry.

I don’t smoke but two of my friends do ( cigarettes, not hash ) and when they visit (a few times a year) if they want to smoke they go out onto the deck.

my upstairs neighbours have asked me not to let anyone smoke on the deck because they can smell it if they are on their balcony.

I think my neighbours are being unreasonable .
Please can I have your opinions

YABU - you should not let your friends smoke outside on the deck
YANBU - your neighbours should not be dictating the smoking rules in your property .

It's absolutely vile when smokes comes in through your windows from downstairs, we lived with it for years. Considering it's your friends visiting a couple times a year, I'd ask them to go out front and smoke.

I smoke OP and will do so freely in my garden. In a previous house I did have a visit from the neighbour asking me to stop smoking in my garden and go out the front, which I did agree to for the sake of a positive relationship. Nowadays I probably wouldn't be so willing (my garden is much bigger now to be fair and I can't imagine the smell travels that far and in high concentration). In your circumstances I would still allow my friends out on the balcony. It's only a handful of times a year and it's your property. Appreciate smoking seems to be taboo these days but people still do smoke and if you sign up to live in close proximity to others you will need to put up with minor annoyances (smells, noises etc etc)

They will need to take it up with their landlord if that's the case. The OP owns her home and it isn't up to another owner to dictate.

YABVU. Cigarette smoke is vile and you shouldn’t be subjecting your neighbours to it.

Tell your friends not to be so rude, inconsiderate and antisocial.

In general I think smoking directly under someone else's window is pretty poor manners especially if there is another space available.
That's whether it's once a year or daily.

Is there a table where your friends smoke? If yes, I think a small desk fan would disperse the smoke and the smell wouldn’t go straight up to their balcony.

I'm guessing these neighbours are older? They sound like they are trying to control everything you do. Politely say you have been more than accommodating but they are taking it too far now.

When I was living in student halls, I was in the room right next to the main entrance. Having smoke wafting through the vents was a miserable existence. YABU.

I live in a first floor flat. My downstairs' neighbours' very small garden is directly beneath my bedroom windows and they smoke out there during summer evenings. I hate it but I think it is reasonable use of their own garden unfortunately - and they are very good at pretending they can't hear my kids getting up and tripping over each other at the arsecrack of dawn. I feel like living in close proximity requires people to put up with this kind of stuff. A few times a year isn't much.

Ask your friends to go out front to smoke away from other people. I think it is really inconsiderate to smoke around people who don't want that smell or the smoke in their homes and lungs.

The fact that they are also complaining about barbecues proves that they are being unreasonable.

I don't especially like cigarette smoke and I'll even bring an air purifier with me to parties where I know people will be smoking. But this is just plain silly.

I hate smoke but if it's really only a few times a year then I can't see the problem.

They are hardly lighting up cigarettes and blowing it down the neighbour's throats are they. It's OP's outside area and she should be able to use it as they wish. OP stated that it's an issue when the neighbours are sat on the balcony, why are the neighbours allowed to utilise their outside space and OP can't? If I was the neighbour I'd take myself inside and shut the door if it was such a drama, one evening every once in a while isn't unreasonable.

Bit in the middle with this one as you should be able to enjoy your space as you like but equally, smoking is grim so I voted YABU

No one is renting. We own our own flats. The neighbour has several homes and lives abroad for much of the year

Because outside the smoke can dissipate into the rest of the world. I’m not sure why this needs explaining

@Notacompetitiveundereater

This is incredibly valid So please don’t ignore. Our neighbours are like this. We tried to also do what they ask , but it became like a little power trip for them, where they started asking for mor and more ludicrous shit off of us.”

this is exactly the case with my neighbours.

I do close my windows thanks but the smell is already in the room by that point and how else am I meant to air the room out? Our house is prone to damp so i can't keep them closed all the time. I've never raised it with them because it's one of those things, but if they smoke at the bottom of their garden instead then it doesn't travel as much into our house. So I think it's fair for op to suggest they move further away from the house out of courtesy.