Aibu to not ban my friends from smoking on my deck ?

[Tigertigertigertiger]

I’ll explain.
I live in the lower flat of a converted semi detached house with a retired couple living in the flat above.

I have a small deck with garden chairs out my front door - directly above it the neighbours have a small balcony - half my deck is covered by their balcony which is great as I can sit outside If it’s raining and stay dry.

I don’t smoke but two of my friends do ( cigarettes, not hash ) and when they visit (a few times a year) if they want to smoke they go out onto the deck.

my upstairs neighbours have asked me not to let anyone smoke on the deck because they can smell it if they are on their balcony.

I think my neighbours are being unreasonable .
Please can I have your opinions

YABU - you should not let your friends smoke outside on the deck
YANBU - your neighbours should not be dictating the smoking rules in your property .

Your neighbours need to get a grip. It’s not as though people are smoking constantly on there. Tell them you’re sorry it bothers them but point out it’s extremely rare and you’ll try and mitigate any effects.

Ignore all the usual MN sanctimonious twats hand-wringing about anyone smoking ever anywhere. They’d whinge if someone smoked in a desert 500 miles from another living being while frothing that it’s sooooo selfish and filthy and disgusting. Honestly, mention smoking on here and it’s as though a bat signal goes out to the self-righteous. And no, I don’t smoke.

It annoys me when my neighbours smoke and bbq on their ridiculously high raised deck as it all blows straight into my kitchen. It would be better if they didn't lean on my wall to do it as they could sit at the other end. However, I think it's reasonable use of their garden even if slightly inconsiderate. Your neighbours are being unreasonable.

Let them smoke in your house, windows shut, if you want to be so accommodating. Don't impose it on your neighbours.

I smoke in my own home. I live alone. In other people's homes I ask and go where they point me.
It's entirely up to the house owner/leaser imo.
Your neighbours definitely can't complain about you having a bbq in your garden, that's a step too far...

It just seems a bit rude of me to not let my friends smoke in my garden

It’s not a garden though. It’s a small space.

I would just ask friends to go out on to the street to smoke.

Personally I really despise smoke and would not be able to enjoy a balcony with someone smoking downstairs…so in your neighbours’ shoes I would simply go inside on those occasions. They can’t dictate people not smoking in your garden, however much they dislike it. Sometimes we just can’t have it all our own way!

The usual sanctimonious claptrap.

It's always the same - if you'd enjoyed a few drinks you're an alcoholic on here.

OP the neighbours need to get a grip. They can't dictate that someone can't smoke on their own patio. That's ridiculous.

What next.

If it's let out as a non smoking flat, they have every right to not expect to have to deal with people smoking on the decking.

@Tigertigertigertiger it's massively inconsiderate, let your friends know to go off the property. If they want to sit and drink, go to a pub garden.

@AhNowTed Great that you've seen the rental contract. Maybe the OP could share it with all of us.

perhsphs the upstairs neighbour will take up tap dancing lessons to loud music

We have two friends who smoke, when they come we ask them to use the patio at the bottom end of the garden, our garden is 100ft and so is the one that backs on to ours so at least they are all day as possible from anyone's home. Right under someone's window is a bit much

You'd go out if your own home becayse downstairs were being inconsiderate? That's ok if it's convenient for you, but it's often not convenient to just go out for a day/night/weekend, especially for elderly people.

having asked nicely, if it continues, I might find it necessary to water my plants, paint my balcony....

If it’s a few times a year and you all sitting out there YANBU

But if it’s regular, or you are actually hanging indoors, send them out the front. With an umbrella if necessary

As an ex smoker I ask any smoking guests of mine to smoke away from my neighbours - so either at the end of the garden or a good way away from everyone's front door. It's a gross habit and shouldn't be inflicted on others.

I would bbq at will, but not directly under anyone's balcony.

Legally the neighbour has no grounds but OBVIOUSLY anyone with any decency would not smoke there, knowing the neighbour can smell it. It is absolutely disgusting. I can't stand people who smoke in public places - I know this isn't a public place but it is affecting someone in the same way. If people are going to have such a foul habit they need to do it in a way that only impacts on themselves not others!

As someone who doesn't smoke and never has your neighbors are being over the top.

It's a few times a year.

I'm sure they do stuff to annoy you.
If you live in close proximity to anyone you're going to have things that annoy you but that's just life.

No that’s not what I said at all - I said the exact opposite. If the smoke were affecting me outside I’d simply go inside. My neighbours smoke on their patio a lot. It travels to my decking it…doesn’t mean I have a right to tell them not to smoke in their own garden, so I just go back inside until they’re done. The neighbour in the OP’s post is on their balcony so I think it’s safe to assume they can also get back into their flat.

frothing that it’s sooooo selfish and filthy and disgusting. ... but it is...

Covered smoking space outside is a nice thing to provide for guests who smoke - good, even basic, hospitality. YANBU in the circumstances you describe, but smoke does drift upwards, so on a nice evening could you move chairs a bit further out into the garden, maybe?

Yanbu at all if it's just a few times a year.

Oh shoosh! 4 times a year is going to be dangerous for them?

A tiny bit of smoke in the wide open air? 😂

YANBU OP and I fucking hate the smell of fags, but I wouldn't dream of dictating to my neighbours about guests smoking a few time a year.

I don’t smoke even in my own garden, I cross the road to an area where it isn’t near houses or others.

I became very aware of the smell of smoke going into neighbours houses if their windows weee open. One neighbour asked why I was across the road, I explained I didn’t want smoke near their windows and my problem was not going to make a problem for them

4 times a year? Yeah, they need to get over it. It's also ridiculous that they asked you not to bbq

Away from other people's properties.

In my old flat we all had balconies one above the other and we wouldn't smoke on the balconies as the smell travels. Would always go downstairs and away from the flats.

Now we smoke at the bottom of the garden because we also don't want the smell of smoke in our house or our neighbours.
If it's raining then tough shit, either smoke and get wet or don't.

Quit a few months ago - we have a deck in our back garden in a tree. I smoked out there, rain or shine, sometimes for hours - despite being surrounded by six neighbours (corner plot) and

No barbecue?! That’s just nuts.

The neighbours are being unreasonable if they won’t let you BBQ. I would ask your friends to smoke as far away from their balcony as possible but they shouldnt have to leave your garden