Do you think some people just aren't competent and won't fit into any 2022 workplace?

[majellalos]

The skills that are required in so many professions these days don’t come easily or naturally to everyone and most jobs require a fairly advanced level of technological talent and a certain set of social skills that don’t come easily to everyone.

I really am not good at anything and despite being University educated I've struggled to hold down jobs because of performance issues in many jobs since I was 17. I'm 40 now and off ill but before that was doing temp work and agency jobs but just never felt right in any workplace. I'd always make a mess somehow or say the wrong thing.

AIBU to think some folk just aren't made for the workplace?

I don't think it's anything to do with skills necessary. DH has lost a few jobs and lately we have wondering if he might have ADHD since son was diagnosed with it and maybe that's what's causing the issues at work. They've never been technical, just interpersonal with some people (while other people working with him in the same job have gone on record saying how great they thought he was to work with). He's also in a field that's especially sensitive to team fit and where it happens a lot. I think there is a lot less job stability and many people do lose quite a few jobs - it seems some manage that but basically do OK for themselves while changing jobs a lot, and for others it's a constant barrier.

I have. I think I'm coming round to a fully work from home job is what I need.
I'm not sure I can cope with a physical workplace anymore but just not sure if it's specifically just the current workplace and dynamics.

But don't have it in me to go self-employed either so admire people who do have it in them. Had a few bosses in the past who would admit being the sort unable to work for other people.

What the fuck have I just read? Are you a man, or are you just quite thick? Either way I’m glad I don’t know you. I hope to god you don’t have daughters to drip this drivel onto.

I was replying to a poster saying feminists had made it impossible for women to not work. I was simply saying it’s still perfectly possible to rely on a man financially if you want to do so, and if you’re happy to put yourself in that (often precarious) position, other women who DO want to work certainly aren’t selfishly stopping any other women from being unemployed.

It's very common in people who are ND

what's nd?

Neurodiverse

I get it. It’s frustrating because I’m smart but I struggle to stay organised and have a real issue with procrastination. I can talk the talk in an interview but it rapidly falls apart when I start

sounds somewhat like me, I'm just useless but I think from the tone of this thread many people don't get it or what I'm saying.

*Maybe you haven’t found your fit yet oP?

is it the drudgery of it all? If there anything you might enjoy such as a library*

wherever I go, whatever I do I just say and do the wrong thing. I wish I could explain it to people but I think this issue is massively understood.

The thing with doing lots of temp work is it takes a while to gain experience and confidence in doing most jobs and the permanent people who are already there have that while you’re still learning. You get good at what you’re doing, then your temporary contract ends and you move on. Then you have to learn all over again

I worked in the family business from 19-24 after getting sacked from several jobs. I was useless in the family business as well but because it was family I wasn't fired. My parents closed it when I was 23 and I did teacher training then but was really bad at that and did supply. Been off 2 years now due to ill health but at 40 I think I was just useless and that some people just aren't really made for the workplace.

Can I add too that even the jobs I was given heavy support and extra training in I still floundered. From 27-38 I taught and never really seemed to learn, many schools fired me.

I mean teaching might not be for you - it isn’t for many, many people. That’s why it’s so hard for schools to retain staff!

*fairly advanced level of technological talent

um what do you consider this to be? At the end of the day, children learn how to do the basics at school now so your viewpoint of advanced might not match what the baseline is

and a certain set of social skills

like what? There’s job where you don’t have to socialise with people. But again, being able to build rapport and influence others will take you far in life*

Well technological talent would be needed in teaching, I thought I was ok doing powerpoints but was in a planning session with colleague and realised how much better he was. I was embarrassed and felt like shit.

Social skills is building rapport with colleagues and bosses and others like clients or students. I struggled with that.

I mean teaching might not be for you - it isn’t for many, many people. That’s why it’s so hard for schools to retain staff

but the problem is that even before teaching I had a string of jobs I floundered in.

With the colleague who was better at PowerPoints - why did you feel embarrassed and get caught up on that? You could have just copied whatever he was doing that you weren’t?

Have you tried less stressful/high pressure jobs? There are other options. I do agree that the workplace is very difficult for some but I also think there’s things to do and try before you write yourself off.

It's worth remembering that if you have any actual physical or mental illnesses that could be called a disability then you are entitled to 'reasonable adjustments' from your employer under the Equalities Act. (Which I think the current leader wants to get rid of!!!)

I couldn't do my job without the adjustments I'm legally entitled to. For example, more sick leave allowed for if it's due to my chronic illness; being able to work 8 hour shifts not 12 hours, no night shifts.
But generally I try to be as flexible as possible within my limitations.

The key to a good working life when you are ND or have mental / physical illness or disability is to know your rights and limitations, to tell the right people eg HR or senior manager but definitely not everyone as especially with my illness there's a stigma.

I have a friend who sounds like you and I know she could do my job pretty well if she just didn’t over think it

see that's the problem, people think we overcomplicate things or overthink it but to us it just is an impossible task which seems so easy to others.

With the colleague who was better at PowerPoints - why did you feel embarrassed and get caught up on that? You could have just copied whatever he was doing that you weren’t

Because I realised how out of my depth I was. We were both doing supply but he was a professional at work and could design solid lessons etc and effectively do his job well and I realised how shit I was. I got fired soon after anyway.

Have you tried less stressful/high pressure jobs? There are other options. I do agree that the workplace is very difficult for some but I also think there’s things to do and try before you write yourself off

I have, I'm just kind of shit.

I know what you mean. I would love to be one of those ultra competent people who just gets it. I lack really basic common sense sometimes, and struggle with things that should be easy

this, I often sat and silently cried at work watching others do the job so well. It's soul destroying.

How do people like this manage to pay their bills? Because truth be told 90% of the reason why I can't be like this is because I don't want to end up on the streets with nothing so I've had to 'make it work'. I really dislike being in the office and interacting with colleagues and team work. I generally cannot be bothered with working. I do it so that I can have the kind of life I have. WFH is also one of the best things to ever happen in this world

you make it sound like we are incompetent by choice.

Pair of twats

That’s a normal way to talk to people!

@JennyAdlington wow, you can disagree with me that's fine, but no need to speak like that.

Such charm, did you learn from the dictionary ?

OP, it sounds like you could be neurodiverse. Your difficulties have affected your self esteem and confidence and probably causing you anxiety.

Autism and ADHD is under diagnosed in women because women do not present typically at school and are often good at masking. Is this something worth exploring? A diagnosis does not magically open doors but it could help you understand yourself. You are not rubbish at things. It hurts to think you are blaming yourself.

If your condition affects your daily life enough, you can claim Personal Independence Payments (PIP), even if you are working.

Interesting thread and the lack of empathy for the op speaks volumes which is what makes it so much harder for her situation and others like her. I do agree that some people,albeit a minority, will struggle in many types of work due to personality etc. But there appears to be a consensus here that it's just her in the wrong job when op said she tried many and all were the same outcome.

I don't know what the solution is really.