Do you think some people just aren't competent and won't fit into any 2022 workplace?

[majellalos]

The skills that are required in so many professions these days don’t come easily or naturally to everyone and most jobs require a fairly advanced level of technological talent and a certain set of social skills that don’t come easily to everyone.

I really am not good at anything and despite being University educated I've struggled to hold down jobs because of performance issues in many jobs since I was 17. I'm 40 now and off ill but before that was doing temp work and agency jobs but just never felt right in any workplace. I'd always make a mess somehow or say the wrong thing.

AIBU to think some folk just aren't made for the workplace?

University doesn't tend to prepare you for the real world if you are academic. For example, I was interested in journalism/writing as a career. I could sit and write for hours, which suited academia perfect ly. Where I fell down was in being confident/speaking to people/investigative work/teamwork.
there really needs to be more of a focus on building confidence, interview skills etc, for people who find this difficult. I have been a chronic underachiever all my life for the simple fact that I just can't perform in interviews!

@Halloweenyesterday

I found that same when I worked public sector. No real incentive to try harder and do better. Moved to private sector and people actual do stuff! Always the odd lazy one but mostly we all thrive to be better ( earn more) money is a great driver

I know what you mean. I would love to be one of those ultra competent people who just gets it. I lack really basic common sense sometimes, and struggle with things that should be easy.

I really struggle with picking up new things, it just doesn’t click until I’ve done things over and over. Other people seem to be shown once and then they can do it.

I have anxiety and have a lot of confidence issues and really struggle with self doubt. I often think I fit a lot of the criteria for adult ADHD.

I do worry about those people not working due to anxiety or feeling like they don't have the right social skills so are declared unfit for the workplace. These things can be learnt, even if they don't come naturally. My goodness, algebra does not come naturally to me but we all had to get our heads around it for the purpose of GCSE🤯

What will you do when the safety net disappears. Because it will. The government won't be providing it for much longer. I'm not being goady, genuinely concerned people will remain in this state forever until forced to change.

I'm not sure it's possible to University to teach those things directly, though. They can provide opportunities for giving presentations, group work etc in the hope that experience will lead to greater confidence, but improving interpersonal skills really has to be self-led.

I heard of people with Autism and possibly mental illnesses struggle with this. I do think most work places ask for too much for the wages and training they are offering... but looking around there are SO many incompetent idiots running important and highly paid jobs so it can't be that they all struggle. Don't give up, you still have 25 years to work, at least.

Learnt? How? How will you learn if no one will give you the chance?

I have a plan for when the safety net is removed, but it would go against MN guidelines to mention it.

I have to say there are days that I think in my current job “how the heck do I do this job”. But I do. Quite well; not brilliantly. I have a friend who sounds like you and I know she could do my job pretty well if she just didn’t over think it.

Yes. ADHD. High achiever (when I’m motivated), poor performer. I’ve held down jobs because I have had to but the lack of focus, inability to do repetitive tasks, poor memory, no executive planning function, lack of filter between brain and mouth, zero ability to prioritise, zoning out while my manager talks to me and overstimulation makes most jobs incredibly difficult. Oh, and the rejection sensitive dysphoria meaning I internally fall to pieces any time someone gives me the slightest criticism.

Not saying you have it or that you can relate to any of that but you asked if anyone finds it difficult to hold down a job and I say yes. Soul-crushingly difficult. But I do it because I like to buy stuff like food and heating.

We get to retire before we die, right? Because I am living for that day.

Sometimes I have this problem. It means that when I start a new job (and often there is really terrible or a total lack of training) I have a horrible, horrible couple of months while I try to get to grips with new systems. I sometimes wonder if I pick it up slowly or if other people are just very confident with their incompetence.

I just don't think life prepares people for the workplace any more. It's not just sending people to uni so they haven't experienced that awkward shit of being the office junior and fucking up every day but having to face it, it's all kinds of pressures from outside that just weren't dominant 30 odd years ago....I haven't had an easy working life but crap, I'm glad I'm not 20 something now, I wouldn't make it.

Ok I’m going to say it if no one else will…

Stop moaning about what you can’t do and either learn or find something you can do. This thread… the posts in here are why people are skeptical of benefits. Almost all of the things mentioned here are skills that need to be learned and practiced.

There are great careers for people with ADHD, fantastic careers for loners who don’t want to interact with others. Sadly careers and jobs for people who just throw up their hands and say “I cannnnn’t” are pretty tough to find these days.

Get training, get therapy, gain skills, get experience, get a job.

If you're temping chances are its office jobs , not everyone is a good fit for an office job. Plus temping means you never get your feet under the table or get to know the processes and procedures so you always feel as though you don't know what you're doing.

Have you looked at other jobs, charity paid work, dog rescue centre, working with children, dental nurse, work in a zoo, - lots of things out there that don't need technology experience

I have tried. Had therapy, did training. Skills and experience come when you can do the first two things.

FFS, I got fired from cleaning jobs. I tried customer facing stuff, and just got more awkward and anxious. Some people gain confidence and some people lose it.

@XenoBitch

I think a lot ( not all of course) can be learnt by being out of your comfort zone. Start off In a relatively risk free environment and practice making eye contact with the cashier or delivery driver. Next time make eye contact for slightly longer, maybe make eye contact with a stranger you walk past, then next time attempt to make small talk with someone in a shop or food venue. The more you step out your safety net the more it will widen. Yes it will feel awful to start with but this is a legitimate therapy technique to combat that level of anxiety ( speaking from direct experience)

The more I stayed indoors the more I felt scared leaving the house. I wanted to go outside but everything in my being tried to keep me in. I just had to force myself to walk out the door to the end of the gate and back, then the end of the road, the eventually the shop. It felt terrible on day one but it worked. I have no issue whatsoever leaving the house or going anywhere.

You can learn this my putting yourself in undesirable situations

I tend to agree with this tbh ^^

Does being a delivery driver need a huge amount of social skills? Does being a traffic warden or retail worker need high-level tech skills? No. Does bar work/waitressing need good executive function? Not particularly. Neither do many warehouse jobs, NHS admin, care workers, or data entry jobs.

If you are only applying for office admin/support roles, obviously those need IT skills, social skills, and often good executive function/planning. So don’t apply for those jobs any more if they aren’t a good fit for you.

I suspect there’s an underlying cause for your struggles OP.

I disagree that most jobs need much technological. It’s usually nothing more than sending emails and word processing. And many jobs don’t even require that.

What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed in a job for? Perhaps you’re not staying long enough to find your feet. It took me about a year to feel competent in my current role.

So what are you doing to gain skills and experience? Have you continued therapy or trained in something else?

I have had a day at work of feeling depressed by my team. It worries me that the more senior i get the more i feel likr the really good people are rarities and far outweighed by people who have the mental capacity for the work but lack any executive function. Poor at making judgements. Poor at communicating, both verbally & in writing. Poor at driving projects to completion.

Then i end up worrying that its me - am i poor at managing the team?

I have had years of therapy from the NHS.. for which I am grateful. It has kept me out of hospital, but not enabled me to be "useful".

Like I said in a pp, I have tried lots of ways to retrain. I have not succeeded in any of them.

Well I have a job, the problem is that this job and every previous job has a really horrible effect on my home life.

When I get a new job there is a huge learning curve where I fall to pieces at home and convince my self I’m useless and can’t do anything. If something goes wrong at work I am irritable and snappy with my family because my head is so full of rushing thoughts and me catastrophising and running through every possible scenario I can’t think of anything else.

I earn an ok wage but don’t feel worthy of it and no matter what I learn or duties I take on I would never put myself forward for a promotion so my wages will stay pretty stagnant. I watch lots of people who make mistakes or are incompetent but are brimming with self-confidence move up to better positions.

Of course there are great jobs for people with ADHD etc (I’m living bloody proof of that) but that’s not what the OP was asking. They asked ‘are there some people who just aren’t a good fit for the workplace?’ And ‘does anyone else struggle to hold down a job?’.

I would suggest that yes, there are a lot of people, especially those who are neurodiverse, who really aren’t suited to the workplace and struggle to hold down a job.

If you add in that ND is chronically underdiagnosed and therefore the support needed is not there…then you end up in a fail fail cycle that is hard to break out of, especially as you can’t break through the menial, repetitive jobs that cause many of the issues in the first place (for ADHD). This leads to a poor work history and rock bottom self-confidence.

But yeah, stop feeling sorry for yourselves, you whiny, skiving slackers and sort yourself out.

Yes. Me. 100%. I think I’m doing well then I get called in. I struggle to do things quickly. Work under pressure and understanding peoples social cues. To perform social skills. I have ASD and BPD, they are not excuses not to work. I’m also university educated up to post graduate. I’m so ashamed I can’t keep a job. I want to forge a career but I’m 28. So it’s too late unless I sort my shit out. Im
not lazy but I am on benefits as when I did work it took so much out of me. There are no ASD friendly jobs

Kanaloa there is definitely a possibility that other people are faking it. The horrible few months in a new job is so accurate - my last job was like a shock to the system, I was breaking down, I cried in bed all weekend after my first week.

You. Are. Only. 28.

I’m 39 and only started my career 7-8 years ago, and even that was tangential. Working out my actual career was only five years ago.

You’ve got this. Get the diagnosis, get the support (whether that’s medication or counselling or both).

You’ll figure it out, I promise. At your age, I was bouncing around benefits/kitchen/bar/charity chugging roles, having flunked out of my PhD, and they were easy enough to get that I could rotate whenever I jumped from one. It’s lonely though.

When you work out what it is you like though, it’s like a lightbulb. Stick with counselling (done wonders for me) and you’ll figure it out.

If I could work out how to do my job, without having to deal with any of the people involved, I’d be golden. 😁