WFH with children

[Annie232]

On many threads I hear women pop up and mention how they WFH x number of days and so don't need childcare on x number of days. Incidentally, within my NCT group on discussions on return to work a few of the women have said similar and that they plan to WFH 1/2 days a week and therefore save on childcare. Is this a thing now?

I take it you've never had to do it then?

A colleague tried it on with her toddler, work wouldn’t allow it. They might allow it for a day or two for sickness but you need to have long term childcare arrangement in place if you have a baby/ toddler. I can’t believe some people are considering having no childcare in place on their WFH days, they’re taking the piss

In most HR policies this is explicitly banned and you can get fired for doing it. Childcare needs to be in place if you're WFH

A friend of mine used to a few days a week with her young baby. But her nana used to watch her for her. She would sort lunch out and change her etc. Her nana just kept her amused and fed her.

Mine are early teens. I WFH 1.5 days a week, they can get themselves home from school and sort themselves out with a snack, but I really hate it in the holidays as they will often spend that full day on screens if they don't have plans with friends🙄I feel like I'm failing them then!

At 9mo both mine had just started crawling and there is no way I would have been able to concentrate WFH. Childcare costs are so high I understand why you would want to but if your NCT group haven't tried this yet I think it may change very rapidly ...

There's a massive difference between changing your working hours so you can avoid childcare costs and actually trying to work while at the same time, being solely responsible for your baby.

Obviously if you have the type of job where X number of tasks have to be completed by the end of the week and your employer doesn't care what hours you work then yes you can do this. Particularly if those tasks don't involve phone calls or meetings during office hours.

But most people have jobs where they are expected to work set hours and this would be impossible to do while simultaneously looking after dc.

I wouldn’t allow it from a member of my team if the child was under school age.

Did it all the way through covid lockdowns with a toddler.
It meant working in the early mornings, main bit of the day looking after my child, then working again at night for me, if your job is flexible enough to do that. Mine was flexible but I got zero downtime. Zero. Fast track to burn out.

@Floydthedemonbarber I have, actually. Quite simple to feed your baby while inputting spreadsheets, talking to clients online. Just keep camera at certain angle lol. I believe there are even "mouse jigglers" now so WFH people can still crack on with pegging washing out, picking kids up from school etc without employers coming down hard on them.

Have you ever had children or indeed been on a zoom meeting?? 😂

Yeah sure, I’ll just feed my toddler lunch while on a teams call and interrupt an important client presentation while I wrestle my toddler into her highchair, and let everyone hear her have a meltdown because I picked her water that she just chucked on the floor, or she’s shouting because she decides she doesn’t like cheese this afternoon, or doesn’t want her peas to touch her pasta.

I’m sure I would be in line for a promotion in no time.

It is a disciplinary offence in my workplace (public sector) not to have full childcare in place when WFH during working hours (obviously exceptions apply if a child is ill / sent home from nursery etc, where we are all understanding). As a manager and mum to a 16month old, i would take a very dim view of anyone without childcare on their working days as i know first hand when she is ill how difficult it is to get any actual work done. Have they checked their terms and conditions / staff policies? I'd be hugely surprised if it was allowed.

I almost had a breakdown trying to wfh in the pandemic with a 13 month and 5 year old.

It is nigh on impossible to work. Even the 5 year old needed more time than I could give.

Knowing they are at the minders/school/wrap around care means I can do my job properly and they are getting the attention they need.

It is a terrible idea

DH can wfh with the kids there (not toddlers), if I’m not available.

HOWEVER - he is self employed, so it’s his problem, and he can juggle his working hours to suit and make sure he doesn’t have any client calls or meetings in that time. But basically he gets much less work done and either loses money or ends up working late at night to make it up. Fine for a one off, but not sustainable long term!

I've been hoping that they mean that the kids don't have to go to breakfast club or after school club since now they have time to do pick ups, drop offa and do full day of work. I'm hoping that they are not trying to work and be a full time stay at home parent on those days.

I work from home while my husband has our baby and honestly, that's hard enough and I'm not even the one "on duty".

I couldn't do both to any decent standard and that's not fair on my employer or my child.

Anyone who thinks they'll be able to are deluded or are taking the piss out of their employers.

Perks of WFH as a parent of young DC for me include:

• No commute time so I can do more during nursery hours
• Putting the washing machine on so we're less behind on laundry
• Doesn't take me an hour to get there if I get a call to say they're ill.

Not childcare.

@CherylCrows surely you realise your in an unusual situation? Most people work 7 hour days, have to be available, can't bring a baby to meeting and can be replaced in less than 14 months?

I can see why it is fine in your situation, but surely you realise many roles are very different.

I think if you have a baby who sleeps a lot then yes you can do it, an ex-colleague of mine did this with her first baby. However when he hit 1 years old it became apparent that she couldn’t get work done so she put him in a nursery.

I do think some mums might try to save on childcare at 1 year and above by not putting their baby in nursery at that age, but I personally think unless you Job share, have a part time job etc then this won’t work at that age. My current boss has a 2 year old and 5 year old and her partner does the childcare with the younger child and she has a 4 day week.

if you have older kids who don’t require childcare then I think WFH, doing school drop off and pick-up is fine but as long as you work after you pick up. I’ve seen so many mums I’ve worked with who go offline after pickup or it’s the inactive status. You know they’re probably only keeping an eye on work. A few women I work with are quite good at keeping a good wfh balance with older non nursery kids.

it was interesting for 18 months I worked in a government legal department and did see the struggle with home tutoring, childcare for kids so it can/can’t be done but you/kids need to have strict boundaries. I’d say if you have the money and a demanding job an au pair could be an excellent solution for older kids and childcare.

I WFH and had to sign a policy that we aren't allowed to do childcare for children aged 10 or under at the same time as working, unless there is an emergency or sickness etc.

Agree WFH during lockdowns was awful. I had a 3 year old and a 9 month old and returned from mat leave the week we locked down. DP keyworker out of the home. It nearly broke me, I was logged on from 6am to midnight trying to get things done. My children weren't as well looked after as they should have been.

I have a 16yr old and a 9 yr old. The 16yr old does school drop off an pick up (paid) 5 mornings and 3 afternoons a week - if he wants to go out with his friends after school then he drops off at home first.

The 2 afternoons I do pick up, I'm away from my desk for 30 mins but I have Teams and Outlook on my phone so can respond to messages and take quick calls if required (incredibly rarely). I work the time back over and above the normal extra time I'm at my desk in the evening.

It works well for me and has no impact on my employer. I would never refuse a request to take a meeting or attend the office just because of childcare - I get cover from another parent or dh steps up.

There's NO WAY I could have done this before dc2 was old enough to start his homework and/or amuse himself for a couple of hours after school.

I'm doing it this way because our afterschool facility closed due to Covid and didn't reopen and the wait lists for other settings are enormous. I pay dc1 not much less than I did to the afterschool club so it's not saving me all that much.

It saves paying commuting time. The 2 days I WFH are much more efficient childcare costs wise as I'm not paying for 1 hour 30 when I'm not working but need the kids in childcare. Means I can start earlier too!

To get my hours in in the office I'd need to use wrap around. Can also give more flexibility on which providers you can use (school nursery vs private) as you don't need the earliest start times.

Lol.

I do something very particular for hours a day and I find it insulting that you consider this dated and old fashioned.

So you work 2-3hrs a day. It's not really relevant to this conversation, is it.

I also have considerable flexibility and work with time zones across the world, but I work full time and there is no way I could have done this with a baby at home. Geez, I find it distracting enough with my 13 year old home.

This in spades! You can tell the parents who don’t log onto meetings after pick up or who dash off home to do an early nursery pick up and I’m lucky in my firm they work very hard but I hope people are keeping an eye on this as it’s very unfair on non parents or even parents who don’t do this and make up the time.

we have a very good WFH set up too with 3 days at home currently, 2 in office and lots of scope to do 4 day weeks at certain levels.

I had no childcare when my DD was 2 for a couple of days. Some recruitment consultant wanted to have an interview. I just laughed at him.

I WFH 95% of the time now and I need to have childcare otherwise I can't work as I have very long meetings/calls.