Was DH unreasonable to shout at the neighbours?

[Louis45]

We have some neighbours a few doors down that took to sneaking around in the (enclosed) front garden and taking discarded cigarette butts from the designated pot we have out there for them.

Two of these plant pots went missing over the course of a year or so. It finally clicked who had stolen them the last time it happened so I put a note through the letterbox asking them to please return the plant pot. The male of the pair came and knocked on, returning the plant pot and that was the end of that.

Fast forward to last night DH arrived home at about 10pm and as he came up the path he saw one of the pair at the plant pot.. again.

Tired of them sneaking about in our garden he told him in no uncertain terms to get the "F" off his property and stop creeping about near the house late at night, he has kids in here etc.

Do you think he was being unreasonable to lose his temper? I will admit I do feel a bit unnerved about strange men creeping about in the garden, it doesn't sit well with me, however supposedly harmless his intentions were.

When he returned the pot after me posting a note past time I said to him if he was so desperate then he should've just asked and I'd have given him a couple, and I would have done too.

It's the creeping about in the garden at night I don't like and it's chipping away at any sympathy I had for him / them.

Could you leave the plant pot closer on your boundary, so they're not coming onto your property for the butts? I know they shouldn't be taking them at all, but if they're going to, could you make it easier for them and less stressful for you? Somewhere where they can just reach over your gate/hedge/whatever and help themselves?

Mate, I could (and have) killed every plant I've ever owned from Lillies to succulents I have tried and failed every year to maintain some pretty house plants. I think I'm cursed 🥺

Thank you, it's a bit shit isn't it? I'm in no doubt that it's about a disdain for smokers. People would be up in arms about somebody stealing a garden ornament or whatever else, but because it's smoking related stuff it's perfectly acceptable to some.

I already do put a small amount of water in the pot to extinguish but that hasn't deterred them. I'm just going to extinguish them with water then put them straight in the bin. Hopefully once they see there's no pot there they'll move on.

You mean they smoke something you put in your mouth?? What did they do during Corona.

@MrsReeves I've killed a peace lily! It can be done...

OP, I would just admit defeat at this stage, these people are desperate, remove the pot!

Actually genius

This

Not unreasonable at all. They needed to be told. Nobody should be sneaking around other people’s gardens at night.

Probably the same addiction is addiction

Stick a pot you don’t care about at the end of you garden that they can reach from the pavement. Stick all your fag butts in there. Then you can pat yourself on the back that you’ve done a favour for the community, helped those in need, and have zero waste. Win win!!

I’d have let my OH crack on with the shouting to be honest… but moving the pot is probably the best idea.

I don't think it's acceptable, I think it's bloody creepy and I'd hate it too. But because I'd hate it so much, if I knew I had dickhead neighbours like this I wouldn't leave anything out that might entice them to sneak around my garden.

Absolutely you should be able to do what you want in your garden. But equally I should be able to leave my car unlocked without consequences too.... The reality is that we all take precautions to keep ourselves/our belongings safe and to stop any unwanted visitors/thieves.

I think you've said that you've decided to stop the plant pot ciggy butts, and I think that's the best idea. You shouldn't have to, but it's the sensible thing to do for your own peace of mind.

You should start vaping instead!

Fill the pot with gravel and water, they can’t use them if wet

I think adding chilli powder is a genius idea!!! They'd only do it once more....

Firstly no your DH was not unreasonable.

Some weird comments from people on here.....

Anyway, some good ideas on here OP and it's not nice being alone with young DC at night with a man sneaking around outside.

I wish your next 🪴 plant all the best 😁

This.

You can! I killed my first my loving it too much. One dose of Baby Bio and it had a slow quick death.

*slow, painful death lol 😂

Just leave them in a not so nice container where they can have them without creeping on your property. It's recycling.

Blimey. I get the worry about lit fag ends but you don’t need to wait two days. Just empty the pot regularly. 😂

Ewww!

What kind of area are you living in?

@Bigslippers you need to get out more 😂