Was DH unreasonable to shout at the neighbours?

[Louis45]

We have some neighbours a few doors down that took to sneaking around in the (enclosed) front garden and taking discarded cigarette butts from the designated pot we have out there for them.

Two of these plant pots went missing over the course of a year or so. It finally clicked who had stolen them the last time it happened so I put a note through the letterbox asking them to please return the plant pot. The male of the pair came and knocked on, returning the plant pot and that was the end of that.

Fast forward to last night DH arrived home at about 10pm and as he came up the path he saw one of the pair at the plant pot.. again.

Tired of them sneaking about in our garden he told him in no uncertain terms to get the "F" off his property and stop creeping about near the house late at night, he has kids in here etc.

Do you think he was being unreasonable to lose his temper? I will admit I do feel a bit unnerved about strange men creeping about in the garden, it doesn't sit well with me, however supposedly harmless his intentions were.

We had a neighbour that used to travel the streets picking up dog ends. Its so sad when someone's life ends up like that. I'd certainly tell them they can't be our property but honestly they're desperate and not much will change.

Although. You probably want to dispose on your fag ends properly. My mums husband smokes outside and leaves the fag ends in a pot and it absolutely bloody stinks. It's a horrible smell and he can't smell it. Like you probably can't. She keeps the house so lovely but as you walk in you have to walk past a pot of fag ends and it just makes it feel like a scrubbers doss house 🤢

Stand outside their door when you smoke and stub out on their doorstep. You'd be doing them a kindness.

That's the thing, I already do put a small amount of water into the pot after every empty. Its there to extinguish the fags before throwing in the bin. Whatever he's getting out of it definitely isn't fit to be smoked unless he's drying them out. It's bizarre.

😂

For the PP who thinks any troll would be as dull as to create stories about plant pots and cigarette ends. This is the pot.

Use an ash tray like everyone else ? Problem solved?

That's a fair point, as guessed I can't actually smell anything myself but I know non smokers find the smell of them harsh so I'll bare that in mind.

They're definitely down on their luck having to resort to doing this but surely if they can't afford to smoke then they should just seize the opportunity to quit. I admit it isn't easy (I'm down to 10 a day and decreaseing from a 20 per day habit) but they drink aswell so I suppose they just need to pick their poison and accept they can't do both.

If they are freshly extinguished but wet due to the water at the bottom of said pot, then surely you can throw them into the wheelie bin?

I also NC regularly (and I have that plant pot lol) and I think DH was NBU to shout at them to fuck off.

But I think some PPs have a point that you’ve become targets for this scabby behaviour and while you shouldn’t have to, maybe it’s time to start thinking about how to keep the plant pot out of their reach eg can you take it out back or put it on an upstairs window sill (the outside bit) for a few weeks until they go elsewhere for their fagend fix?

People like this will keep doing it, as they think getting caught is the problem rather than doing the thing so if they think they’ll get shouted at they’ll try to do it when you aren’t looking or when they know DH is out.

Bloody hell it must be a slow day over there if this is what they choose to latch on to. Waves to reddit

Sorry to disappoint you but there truly are people walking among us who scavenge for fag butts, it's actually not that unusual where I live in a deprived Borough of London. I've seen a handful of people doing it around the town centre.

I suppose I could in theory, I'm just extra cautious after a (non fag related) small house fire a few years ago.

It would be a lot harder and weirder for them to rummage around in the bin! Although they do sound persistent..

Busted by an observant mumsnetter indeed 😂

Bless. They thought they had one.

I would just put the pot near the boundary and tell them they can take the butts but please leave the pot. Just keeps it easy. Win win.

They shouldn't be on your property that would freak me out too. I think your dh was reasonable. I'd have been tempted to call police and photograph them in your garden creeping about.

I'd fill the pot with water and drown the butts.

I am going to stop leaving the pot there now, I just felt that after they knew they had been clocked last time (the note through their door) they would steer clear. They have the hide of a rhino to carry on after being caught stealing from a neighbours property, no matter if it were cigarette butts or something valuable, stealing is stealing.

I'm also conscious of the fact that they'll continue to creep about in the garden regardless as it's clearly such a deeply entrenched habit that they've been doing for such a long time, they'll probably keep coming back just to check.

What I did want to do was have a word with their landlord (my other neighbour knows who that is) and ask him to remind them not to keep pissing off the neighbours.

Like many, I have some trauma in my past and feel quite uncomfortable about the invasion of our space when me and the DC are in here sleeping 😕

It's a nice pot isn't it, I'm not doing it justice I know 😂

I actually had a peace lily in there once upon a time, indoors, before I managed to kill the poor thing.

I keep vowing to give it a good scrub and pop a succulent or little cacti in there. I think this will be the catalyst to get it done 😐

Put a cactus in it.

This is so sad. I'd let them take the fag ends if they're that desperate. Maybe leave them in sthg less nice.
Buy them some proper fags for Xmas.
What happened to kindness to people who are so down on their luck?

Sprinkle the pot with chilli powder. Better yet, get your husband to take a leak in it.

Also, ignore the pretentious twats calling you out on posting twice. I name change & post about the same thing sometimes. Especially if a situation is ongoing.

Please get your husband to wee in the pot.

Now I know this is a troll post. You absolutely cannot kill a peace lily. I am a plant killer, however hard I try not to, and my mum bought me a peace lily about 2 years ago ("happy birthday, here's a plant you can't kill") and its still (just about) alive

Not sure why people are being nasty to you OP. I'm as anti-smoking as it gets but it's not really relevant. And you're perfectly entitled to post an update/follow-on/adjacent thread under a different username - I did the same thing recently and, when people noticed, no one gave me any grief for it.

Just put water in the plant pot - problem solved.