I am due a baby ten days before Christmas
and have been told I’ll be induced 7 days over if they don’t arrive before. So possibly the baby will be two or three days old at Xmas (if late) and mil wants to come for Xmas again!!!
the reason I want to say no (Aibu)
my last ds was due on Xmas day and arrived three days late
my mil invited herself for Xmas as usual despite having two other children other than my dh (a dd and ds plus another gd) plus several close sisters and single best friends that she could be with/stay with /visit
so she comes makes Xmas miserable and no help whatsoever / when no baby had arrived she went off to visit her other family and baby does arrive three days late so she visits us in hospital until chucked out by staff as out staying visiting hours,
then the after we get home comes and getting stroppy about not being passed the baby instantly and then hogging him saying how he is a daddy’s boy and grandmas boy etc and then wants to feed him a bottle despite the fact he’s bf
i did actually fall out with her a bit and take him away upstairs and stayed there until she left
then she sent loads of messages to my dh saying how she only wants to help and can’t understand why we don’t want her anymore
I feel she’s manipulative and I can’t stand her anymore and things haven’t really improved over the years and she’s manipulative and passive aggressive eg - she once ignored me the whole day because I said I didn’t want her to give my son sweets before his dinner and that I didn’t really allow them or too much sugar (his enamel on his baby teeth hadn’t formed properly , so the dentist had advised no sugar so I wasn’t trying to be mean)
anyway I feel like saying she isn’t welcome this Xmas and that she can visit the baby once I’m up to it
eg not in the hospital or the first few days
not after she ruined the last time
also she has other children and family she can see so why always us every single year!!!
and every year if I’m honest she ruins it! So controlling and has my son posing for all her pictures can’t open presents until she is ready for photos and waiting until she says etc and this is from me constantly but no mention of anyone else!
she was also planning on our spare bedroom being “her room” wtf for her to stay! Unfortunately it’s now a baby’s nursery lol
I have told dh how I feel and he does agree but never seems to confront her head on
ge tries to ignore her demands and change the subject! Says he feels sorry for her (as her partner left her for another women a couple of years before we met) but come on! She’s a grown woman surely not our responsibility and he doesn’t speak to his sister or brother hardly ever so who knows what they think
so any advice on how to deal with awkward mil
or Aibu and should I be more accommodating?
Thanks