AIBU for continuing to work while a coworker was having a seizure?

[keepnonworkn]

Earlier today while I was at work a coworker collapsed and started having a seizure. Several other coworkers (who were closer to her than I was) rushed over to help. I being farther away looked up to see what was going on. There was a group of 7 or so people surrounding her by that point and moving things out of the way. Someone was already calling for an ambulance. To me it seems like everything was being handed and since we had some tight deadlines to meet for our clients I went back to working while this was going on. After she was taken away in the ambulance one of my other coworkers approached me. She said what I did was wrong and I should have stopped working and tried to help her since there was a crisis. I don't see how me crowding around with all the others would have been any help though. I don't have any medical training and wouldn't have known what else to do except call an ambulance, which someone else was already doing.

It would make sense to have had a think - or ask others - about whether there was anything useful you could offer, e.g. phoning your colleague's family or getting HR to do so, checking whether her belongings needed to be with her or locked away, etc.

YANBU but you can learn from this experience. A similar thing happened to me way back in my twenties. I did go over to see what was happening and was asked to phone my colleague’s parents so they knew she was being taken to hospital. I did this but then not knowing what more to do returned to my desk and resumed some urgent work. Sadly my colleague died the next day. I always felt that I had done the wrong thing, not on a practical level but a human level, but I also have compassion for my younger self. It is hard to know what to do in a crisis and often our instinct is to blindly maintain the status quo. I hope that your colleague is ok. I still think of my friend, she was very special.

I agree that you were right not to add to the people milling around your colleague, but it seems very cold just to continue working in those circumstances. Surely you could have asked if there was anything practical you could do? I imagine to the others there at the time you came across as totally lacking in empathy.

I used to have seizures as a young woman, these were at that time poorly managed so on a number of occasions I had them at work. When I came round I used to be mortified, particularly as I sometimes released the contents of my bladder. In addition I can guarantee my skirt would work its way up, I'd dribble, snort, and generally behave in a way that you really don't want others to see.

In circumstances as you describe them OP it really only needs 2 - 3 people. The others were whilst I'm sure meaning well, embarrassing! More people knowing my vulnerability. I'd have silently thanked you!

YANBU - As a first aider myself I would not have any issue with you continuing to work.

7 people crowded round is far too many and I would've expected the first aiders to ask people to leave the area (maybe go to a break room) until the ambulance arrived.

You are not cold hearted and as you don't have medical training, you did the right thing by not getting involved. Showing concern might seem like a 'nice' thing to do, but when dealing with a medical emergency, believe me first aiders don't want you hovering.

I'd have done exactly the same. Unless you've got some medical training, there's nothing you could do to help. Crowding around gawping at her wouldn't have helped.

You were not being unreasonable. As someone who has epilepsy and can occasionally pee myself during a seizure I’d much prefer less people crowding around and agree there was nothing you could do to help. I can see how they might have thought it cold hearted but it was clearly being handled so I think it’s fine you didn’t waste time.

Im a nurse and can promise you that you did the right thing. Nothing helpful in having a room full of people all crowding around someone who is having a seizure. The fewer people the better, someone that knows basic first aid and who is tasked as the office FA provider and someone else to help them is all that is required.

i guess I would've asked if I could help - and o.k. probably not - but then f.i. getting that collegue's things (coat, bag) so it could go with her in the ambulance. And then maybe closing her workstation or computer. Maybe also check out if someone else in the company where you work should be told about this incident. Getting the details sorted. There's a lot you can do without being a nosybody 🤷🏼‍♀️

You don’t need to ‘help’ or perform cpr, it’s more a matter of respect and compassion for the poor person having a seizure. I’d find it weird if I looked around and you were beavering on like nothing was happening. Its just odd behaviour in that situation. If you don’t know what to do, at least ask if there’s anything you can do. Your colleague’s life is more important than some client.

Unless you have medical training, YANBU.

I would have checked if I was needed to help with anything first before carrying on with my work. At the very least show concern for the person having a seizure...

In any situation there's an optimal number of people. 7 is too many. I think 3 is optimal - one person to do first aid, one person to assist the first aider, and one to make the necessary calls.

Sorry but this made me laugh.

”How is colleague doing?”

”She’s having a fucking seizure, how the fuck do you think she’s doing?”

It is not virtue-signalling to cease work during a medical emergency. I wonder if there is a connection to all those here whose affect is so flat they cannot recognise normal human responses...

www.psychologicalscience.org/news/full-frontal-psychology/does-botox-impair-empathy.html

Well, if I can't recognise a 'normal human response', it's pretty fucking fortunate that I can recognise abnormal ones like not breathing and being able to deal with it instead of being another bloody useless bystander wittering on about cups of tea and handbags wanting attention so I can't hear the person needing help's breath sounds/other useful noises - or even keep count when doing cpr without being interrupted.

All those posting about how the OP would have ‘come across’, come across to whom, exactly, and why does it matter? The person everyone was supposed to be concerned about was the person having the seizure, and I imagine they would be pleased to have one fewer person gawping.

I used to work in a residential training centre for people with disabilities some of whom had severe epilepsy. Basically they were made safe - with someone making sure they weren't choking, and everyone else just carried on with what they were doing. Usually someone went for tje centre nurse who was aware of the medical records and their individual seizure plans.

I was never sure if my colleagues were joking when they said someone had once had a seizure in the kitchen and people just stepped over her to get to the sink!!

And now I'm mum to someone with epilepsy; I wouldn't ignore a seizure but equally it doesn't need a whole horde of people to deal with it.

The question for me would be "could I help" and the answer being no in that situation so carry on working

How does a small study related to facial expressions relate to assessing a health emergency? The OP saw the person was being helped and the situation was under control. Rubber necking isn’t helpful in these situations.

You could have gone over, and asked if anything could be done. To not acknowledge it does seem odd. But agree re crowding around, that wouldn’t help

So rather than allow the trained first aiders to follow what is most likely a very clear procedure for an accident or health issue at work, OP should have rushed in to say she’d inform all relevant parties?

Rather than letting her colleague’s computer go into locked mode, as happens in almost every workplace if you leave it unattended for a certain amount of time, OP should have taken it upon herself to try to access a machine that could house confidential information?

I would have asked everyone to leave the room to give the person privacy so yabu for carry on working

For all the people saying OP is BU, please look at the replies from people with epilepsy/seizures. Apologies if I've missed one but I think they all say OP is not unreasonable and they would actively prefer less "attention" and others just to get on with their days.

I wish people would acknowledge this and take it on board. Does anyone who thinks OP is being unreasonable want to comment on this aspect?

I think we should treat people the way they want to be treated. I would much rather people do this than feel obliged to perform concern for fear of being judged themselves, for not complying to some sort of social norms. As an epileptic I would like to say - A first aider is there providing medical attention, their immediate needs are met so fuck off and don't gawp A casual "how are you doing?" on return to work (without a sympathetic style head tilt ) is fine and an offer for practical assistance with any missed work is great.

I’ll comment.

I fully appreciate not wanting added unwanted attention and people gawping at you during a seizure. I think everyone here gets that. But this isn’t just about how to behave towards people who have seizures. It’s really a question of an appropriate reaction to a medical emergency in your immediate environment and to a colleague.

A myriad of medical emergencies could occur in a workplace, and if you are in the same room where a colleague falls ill, the most empathetic (and I believe socially responsible) response is to either want to try and help, or respectfully acknowledge there is a medical emergency occurring, by at least showing enough respect and sensitivity to pretend nothing is happening and continue as normal.

People have listed a number of things anyone could do to help anyone in a medical emergency other than call 999 or provide first aid : shut down a laptop, contact next of kin, fetch water or blankets etc etc. but even if those things are redundant, don’t assume your colleagues who have rushed to help, feel as though they are confident dealing with this alone. We are not suggesting everyone should crowd around the sick person; we are suggesting respecting the reality of the situation by not carrying on as normal.