AIBU for continuing to work while a coworker was having a seizure?

[keepnonworkn]

Earlier today while I was at work a coworker collapsed and started having a seizure. Several other coworkers (who were closer to her than I was) rushed over to help. I being farther away looked up to see what was going on. There was a group of 7 or so people surrounding her by that point and moving things out of the way. Someone was already calling for an ambulance. To me it seems like everything was being handed and since we had some tight deadlines to meet for our clients I went back to working while this was going on. After she was taken away in the ambulance one of my other coworkers approached me. She said what I did was wrong and I should have stopped working and tried to help her since there was a crisis. I don't see how me crowding around with all the others would have been any help though. I don't have any medical training and wouldn't have known what else to do except call an ambulance, which someone else was already doing.

Alright I have to go now. Thank you for all your comments. Especially those with more experience with these situations.

Like fuck would I want people "sitting respectfully at their desks looking concerned about a fellow human in a vulnerable situation"

It's not a soap opera to provide drama for surrounding co-workers.

Either be working or be out of room. Seriously, having been the person having a seizure, the less attention the better.

@MadelineUsher - don’t waste your time, apparently if you are concerned it is an act, if you want to help it’s only because you like the drama and the only reasonable response is to carry on doing your oh so important work because obviously you are so level headed that a person having a seizure a few feet away is very easy to ignore. Leaving the room also not possible for some reason. I am never leaving my current team

I'm really pleased not to have had most of the people on this thread around when I've had seizures.

I’ve been in the situation where I passed out at work and an ambulance was called. It’s mortifying enough without half the office staring at you when you are being wheeled through the office by the paramedics. I’d have preferred it if people just got on with their work and pretended they hadn’t noticed.

Having been a first responder to a lot of emergencies I would really like, again, to put a hand up for you “giving a shit” by making sure you aren’t getting in the way when there are already more than enough people “helping” already.

Nobody has said any of this. Where are you getting these ideas from?

What people have said is that many people are far more interested in whether they look appropriately concerned than with acting in the most helpful (or least hindering) way. Assuming you don't have relevant skills that nobody already in attendance has, and when others are already on the scene helping and everything is being dealt with, the compassionate and helpful thing to do is to prioritise the dignity of the ill person and not put them in the position of feeling they've been the cause of unnecessary disruption. This thread has shown me just how many people are mostly concerned with who looks "cold", rather than with what's actually the compassionate, helpful thing to do.

@FurryDandelionSeekingMissile - yes as you have said to me several times now. I don’t know why you keep picking me out but it’s tedious. You’ve made your point at me, now bog off.

The colleague who approached you probably didn’t see you looking up
at the very beginning and was under impression that you didn’t reacted at all but you did everything correctly: you looked up and checked if something was needed and then carried on quietly.
I think going closer for a look or stopping work and looking would be a bit disrespectful. It wasn’t a performance after all.

This.
OP looked up and saw the situation was under control.
What else should they have done?

@TheWurst Yes, because you're showing that you've completely misunderstood the point.

I thought perhaps I had been unclear, so explained further, but apparently you just want to believe that criticism of a preoccupation with appearing to be concerned at the expense of actually helpful behaviour is the same as saying all concern is fake. I won't try to explain to you any further.

@FurryDandelionSeekingMissile - I haven’t misunderstood you, I just disagree with you.

I don’t think you are unreasonable, or cold.

My daughter has seizures and the last thing she wants is people gawping at her. She doesn’t want people crowding around her, she hates people seeing her have a seizure to the point she gets very upset if you as much as tuck her hair away from her face.

If she ever had one at school then teachers always encouraged everyone else to quietly get on with their work while first aiders/staff dealt with the situation. It doesn’t need an audience.

I’m a first aider at work and I’ve had to deal with someone having a stroke and someone having a seizure over the last few months, once an ambulance has been called, I want the area clear of people and getting on with their work is the best thing they can do.

I think there are two very telling things on this thread…

1. Although the vote is significantly in the OP’s favour, the comments are far more split. This makes me wonder if the kind of people who would feel the need to demonstrate for an audience of colleagues how much they care also have to demonstrate their caring credentials for strangers on here. The people who think the OP was right to just crack on haven’t felt the need to justify it, because they’re not obsessed with the perception of others.

2. The posters who have actually been involved in similar situations, whether as the person who had the seizure or the first aider, have overwhelmingly said the OP did the right thing. That’s significant.

Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong, but from a society accepted POV you did- I also think another body crowding around a situation already under control, who had no practical support to offer is utterly unecessary but usually pack mentality is to have a steady beak, stand around looking concerned whilst crowding the poor higher on the floor, then all talking about how stressful it was for them for several hours later.......

If the office is that big, it will have a receptionist who is paid to direct visitors to the right place. He or she would not need or appreciate the OP coming down to take charge.

@keepnonworkn YANBU. I don't have epilepsy, but I am disabled and I had a fall at work once (I worked in a call centre,) while I was trying to get my bearings, I was faced with a crowd of colleagues gawping at me. Myself and the operations director had to tell them to Get back to what they were doing, as the situation was being dealt with and having a large crowd around me wasn't helping. Having you joining in the spectators wouldn't of helped your colleague at all. ❤️

There’s a saying- too many cooks spoil the broth. Another bod over there would have reduced the space they had to work even further. YANBU, though I’d have called over to ask if there was anything I could do if only to acknowledge there’s a problem.

I'd have walked over, because I am one of the trained and named. It might be useful to have someone clearing space, and another fetching the screens we have... had... wonder where they are since covid/office refurb... must check next time I'm in. IME, reception almost always call an ambulance without asking (whether needed or not, for pretty much anything more than a paper cut,) and also deal with directing them in, but I might ask some to double check with them if I hadn't already been told and thought one was needed.

But everyone else can sod off and give space.

I've seen a couple of accidents when out in public - with one, people who got there first clearly knew what they were doing, so I kept out of the way. Another, I offered help as a first aider, they said they were fine, so I went on. There's a limit to the number of people who can get involved before they're hindering rather than helping

You were right, they were wrong. Some people just love a drama and any excuse to skive.

I have epilepsy and have had seizures at various workplaces. As long as someone is keeping me out of danger and looking out for me medically (or contacting dh) I would rather people just got on with whatever rather than standing there gawping at me.

This thread is a capital of virtue signalling. Shouting „let me know if you need help”, offer tea to distressed people, keep your hands on your chest and show your concern. FFS.

You should have said exactly that to the college who called you out.
I’d have a quiet word with them, tell them that they were rude & wrong for just hanging around watching the incident instead of getting back to work if they weren’t actually doing anything to help the situation other than observing.

I’m quite sure if the incident had happened right next to where you were or if you were called over to help with n some way you would have stopped what you were doing but in this situation that didn’t happen & you were right not to get involved unnecessarily.

This entirely

It’s important if somebody is having a seizure to allow them space and air. If there was already 7 people and an ambulance had been called , then nothing you could do