AIBU for continuing to work while a coworker was having a seizure?

[keepnonworkn]

Earlier today while I was at work a coworker collapsed and started having a seizure. Several other coworkers (who were closer to her than I was) rushed over to help. I being farther away looked up to see what was going on. There was a group of 7 or so people surrounding her by that point and moving things out of the way. Someone was already calling for an ambulance. To me it seems like everything was being handed and since we had some tight deadlines to meet for our clients I went back to working while this was going on. After she was taken away in the ambulance one of my other coworkers approached me. She said what I did was wrong and I should have stopped working and tried to help her since there was a crisis. I don't see how me crowding around with all the others would have been any help though. I don't have any medical training and wouldn't have known what else to do except call an ambulance, which someone else was already doing.

"I think I agree with this. I've heard people who experience seizures say they can find it embarrassing (even though obviously there's nothing to be embarrassed about)."

You can lose control of bladder and bowel so yes, people deserve privacy as far as possible.

I think I’d have offered to watch out for the ambulance, fetch some water or made myself scarce so I was out of the way.
I don’t think what your did was wrong, but people will have misinterpreted it.
I have a friend who’s an epileptic; she would massively have preferred your response to the crowding round one

Honestly I think the appropriate response would have been to stop working, walk over. Ask and check there was nothing that you could have assisted with. You are likely correct that there was enough help but checking is the appropriate action.
There are sometimes things that could be done like waiting outside to signal to the ambulance, getting water, ringing a relative especially with a seizure as they could have medical on them or information for the ambulance crew. You assumed too much. Obviously you meant well and did no harm though so don’t overthink it now.

Very much so, this thread is making me very grateful for my colleagues though who seem to genuinely care about each other rather than it being performative or because they like drama.

I spend a lot of time dealing with emergencies and there is nothing worse than a large crowd. People need specific tasks and then everyone else needs to leave - I quite often am telling people to go and do something else because the noise and the chaos it creates doesn’t help anyone. It is also a factor that leads to things being missed because everyone assumes someone else is doing it in the panic.

I’ve not voted as I think you had to have been there to really understand whether you were BU or not.

I work in a place where we regularly have to move things out of the way - in this situation the more hands the better and there’s no way I would have just got on with my work.

There’s also times when 2 people are enough to deal with a situation and too many people make it difficult.

In whatever situation arises at my place of work we are all on standby and either try and help or ask if they need any help.

We are a team and it’s not fair that certain members of staff help and others don’t.

Once you’ve done all that you can do then of course get out of the way.

If you went over and tried to help then went back to work then YANBU

But if you simply looked up from your desk and carried on working without even trying ti be helpful then YABU

My Nan was epileptic and used to be so embarrassed if she had a fit in public, she would have been grateful for your reaction OP, and I would have done the same as you. If your colleague was safe and being cared for then no need for onlookers to stand and gawp.

You sound quite cold tbh.
You should’ve shown interest, as pp said, even if it was talking to another colleague. You came across as not caring one bit.

We had a number of fainters when I was teaching. Once the first aider was with the student then the lesson still carried on, even with them in the classroom. It was much better to carry on. The students preferred it too, as opposite to 29 students gawping at them.

^This

You did the right thing in not crowding the colleague- they need to be able to breathe for one!

Too many people getting involved is not a good idea (as long as the people there are actually helping and not gawping)

Your colleague clearly wasn't considering the dignity of your ill colleague, who would no doubt be mortified if the whole office stopped and just watched her have a seizure

A seizure is a medical emergency.

Again — should've shown. How you came across. And not to the person with the medical emergency — to colleagues. It's all about looking good in front of other people — that's what a lot of the stander-abouters really care about.

Absolutely - nothing shows care and consideration like gossipping about a colleague’s medical condition

@Peashoots No, most seizures are not medical emergencies - you do not have to call an ambulance in most circumstances.

It does look cold and uncaring, but your basic premise is correct. I would have spoken to one of the other staff members to see if anything could be done. The work schedule could not have been so tight that a 5 minute break just to check all was in hand couldn't have been done.

@ObsidianBlizzard - yes I am sure the OP could work that out from her quick glance over.

Not getting involved, fine. Carrying on working 'because of deadlines', bit weird.

Whether you like it or not, to say or do nothing comes across as very cold.

It's awful to gawk at someone having a seizure but would it not have been better to say "it looks like we can't do much to help here, maybe we should go back to our desks and give Mary some privacy".

It depends. If someone has diagnosed epilepsy, then when they have a seizure, all that is needed is space and privacy. No ambulance needed.

I used to go to a support group with someone who had a seizure pretty much every session. We moved things, kept out the way and got her water when she came too. That was all that was needed.

I think you could have said 'let me know if I can help at all'. I think the answer would have been no in most cases.

A seizure can be caused by epilepsy, brain tumour, infection, diabetes, pregnancy, head injury, stroke so I would always call for an ambulance in a work setting.

Anyone not actively helping doesn’t need to be there. There is a bit of leeway for having a couple of people on standby waiting to receive orders, but they can be standing back. The coworker doesn’t need an audience.

I think you handled it respectfully.

And when the colleague comes back to work and says "We missed the deadline and lost the client — because of me? because the whole office had to stop working because of my seizure? " you're going to say what, exactly, to make her feel better?

I mean, it's hypothetical, just conjecture about a possible outcome, but speaking as someone who's occasionally had medical emergencies, it's upsetting when you find out it's caused such significant disruption and inconvenience to people, or that everyone saw it all and knows everything about what happened. Generally people who have things like this happen to them want there to be as much help as necessary, but no more attention than there needs to be, and for there to have been no unnecessary disruption caused. It does not remotely benefit the individual with the medical emergency to have everyone in the vicinity displaying how very concerned they are at each other, lest they be thought "cold".

If someone asked you to help and you simply carried on working, that would be callous. Otherwise, I don't see a problem. After the first 5 mins of confusion can it is clear the colleague is getting help from someone and is kept safe, it is fine to go back to work.

All other spare parts are just rubber necking and looking for an excuse to shirk.