AIBU for continuing to work while a coworker was having a seizure?

[keepnonworkn]

Earlier today while I was at work a coworker collapsed and started having a seizure. Several other coworkers (who were closer to her than I was) rushed over to help. I being farther away looked up to see what was going on. There was a group of 7 or so people surrounding her by that point and moving things out of the way. Someone was already calling for an ambulance. To me it seems like everything was being handed and since we had some tight deadlines to meet for our clients I went back to working while this was going on. After she was taken away in the ambulance one of my other coworkers approached me. She said what I did was wrong and I should have stopped working and tried to help her since there was a crisis. I don't see how me crowding around with all the others would have been any help though. I don't have any medical training and wouldn't have known what else to do except call an ambulance, which someone else was already doing.

Unless you are a trained doctor, nurse or paramedic etc or the designated first aider at the least then no you did the right thing. I hate it when everyone gets involved with things like this

You did the right thing as there were plenty of other people dealing with the situation. Last week I passed someone in the street who had slipped and hurt themselves but there were several people there already helping them. I did wonder if I should go over but I couldn’t really see what help that would have been. I guess if you’d gone over there and enquired if there was anything you could do and they said thanks for asking but no, your colleague would have shut up, even though you were surplus to requirements in both scenarios🤷‍♀️

I think most people would feel actually concerned and sympathetic. Because as humans we are social creatures. How odd to think it would be an act?!

I have had a few issues with my mental health in a public place. Dozens of people all stood around gawping (and some even filming me with their phones).
I am pretty certain that I would not be alone in saying that anyone who has had any sort of medical crisis in front of other people was not grateful for the people who stood around wringing their hands and "looking concerned". When unwell, you want the ground to swallow you up, and then wish you could go back with one of the memory wiping devices from 'Men in Black' so the rubberneckers can forget what happened.

A friend of mine was in a supermarket with her DD, when DD had a seizure. The staff cordoned off the aisle they were in and tried to move people on.

@TheWurst
I have no idea. No one heard anything by the time work ended.

It's not odd to think that. A huge amount of how we behave is for others to see.

Look how many people have told OP she should have behaved differently and looked concerned, commented about how she must've come across to her colleagues, talked about being negatively perceived by others, rather than commenting on whether she should've actually had different emotions.

There's absolutely nothing to suggest that a colleague who sidles up close to get a good view of the exciting action, potentially compromising the dignity of the person having a seizure and ensuring that their seizure has a more disruptive workplace impact, is any more actually concerned and sympathetic than the colleague who looks over to check that the situation is being handled and then quietly gets on with some work.

Probably right but even just going over and say can I help is appropriate. Even just like having extra people to go to the entrance to show the ambulance in, one in the car park/one at the junctions of the stairs saves seconds in an emergency. Next time offer and then do the work.

My son with ASD (who is lovely and would do anything for anyone) would use the same logic as you. He'd think, there's nothing I can do to help so the most useful thing I can do is carry on working and meet deadlines.

I wouldn't think like that. I would feel compelled to stop what i was doing and see if I could do something helpful. I probably wouldn't go back to working until the person was safely in the ambulance. I'm not sure exactly why - I think it's a combination of lots of things: worry and concern for the person of course, but also social conditioning about how to react in a crisis, not wanting to appear cold, generally being easily distracted... I'm not sure logic really comes into it

@XenoBitch - those are strangers. I’d hope colleagues you see everyday would care a little more about you. I don’t mean standing there gawping but I know if it happened at work I’d be shocked and concerned and continuing to work whilst someone potentially died in front of me wouldn’t occur to me. Maybe that’s just me

If the trained first aider was there, had things under control, and enough helpers then YANBU OP.

Like others have said, people that suffer from seizures can often be very embarrassed at all the “fuss” and would be mortified to know that the office screeched to a halt to watch them have a seizure.

We have a large open plan office (100+ people on each wing before COVID) and I’ve always been grateful as a first aider that in an incident there’s usually someone sharply telling people to stop gawping, give the patient some privacy, and create space to allow people to get on with it).

This is a bit dramatic. The colleague was having a seizure not a heart attack. There would be no reason to think they were about to die. I was in A&E a week ago when someone had a seizure, a couple of staff saw to them (efficiently but certainly with no panic) and everyone else carried on.

Did you show any concern or ask if you could help?

Or did you just carry on as if nothing was happening?

I agree with you and would have done / not done the same in your position.

@Freddosforall - people can die from seizures….

Ha this happened in my old workplace and everyone carried on working even when the paramedics arrived Except for the first aider. (Person was fine, just a faint). I laugh thinking about it now as it did seem a bit surreal but we were a really heavy deadlines-focused place and we were an hour before one and missing it would have had massive repercussions. We did care (I think!) but in the absence of anything to actually do we just carried on working.

Anyway I don't think YABU OP. These things sometimes do turn into a bit of a circus.

No, you're right, it's much better if the people crowding around to watch while you piss yourself are people you've known for years and will continue to work with.

On another note; I would thoroughly recommend everyone gets themselves on a first aid course if they can - as well as just being an incredibly (lifesaving!) useful skill to have; it actually does wonders for that horrible “useless” feeling in an emergency.

Rather than standing around wringing your hands it gives you the confidence to step in and know what to do, and the reassuring feeling of doing something rather than nothing.

If I ever have a seizure at work I'll hopefully be able to say thank you to the people who actually helped and the people who kept out of the way. Just stopping work so you can look all concerned is bloody ridiculous.

Very rare that more than one person needs to step in.

The vast majority of people who have seizures prefer minimal people to be around them, just put something under their head which is soft.

It's highly unusual to call an ambulance though unless it's an extended seizure ie. over several minutes. That is unless they are injured of course.

🙄

Your colleague wants performative concern from you as a social signal that you are “worried” so they know you are a “good” person who conforms to the same cultural norms as them.

Tomorrow they’ll probably come in and ask how the person who had the seizure is 35 times, loudly, so that everyone knows that they are “worried”. They will likely do nothing at all that will make the person’s life better in any meaningful way, but they will have signaled to everyone that they are a good person by all their very visible concern. There are a few people who are always visibly worried about others who do actually try to help, call round, send a card, hold a collection, make soup, whatever, but most do not.

Colleagues would be even worse. You would be the talk of the office for ages. Then you have to go back to work and know that they may have seen you wet yourself etc, and have to deal with all the head tilts and "you ok hun?" for weeks after.

if people want to be helpful then create a circle around the individual all facing out.
so actually providing them with some dignity rather than turning them into the afternoon’s entertainment.

The world would be a better place if people didn't have the inexplicable urge to crowd around people and gawp in situations like this. Sure, if you were the most qualified person to help, or otherwise in authority, but not just to add another body to the crowd. It's far better to monitor the situation from a discreet distance, while getting on with other things, and offer assistance only if appropriate and necessary. With half a dozen people already involved, there are plenty of people to request additional help if, for some reason, that would be necessary, or to handle the situation.

Yeah, this. Seems odd to just carry on tbh.

If you had nothing to add to the situation to help then I don’t see anything wrong with what you did tbh.
Tbh you would have just crowded the person, and if others had already taken care of it, in my view you did the right thing in ensuring the work still got done.
i hve been described as chilly by colleagues in the past though so maybe not the best person to advise!