To be a bit sad I don't have any drinking buddies?...

[Butterscotchpudding]

Hi,

So I'm late 30's and over the past year or so have been quite proactive in finding new friends. Most have mine have moved away and I'm not working right now, so my social life had pretty much dried up. I bit the bullet and joined some apps. My thinking was, if dating apps are so popular and successful, then there's no shame in joining one for friends.

I've met some great women and a couple I would call genuinely good friends, so I can't complain there, but I would LOVE a friend I could share a bottle of wine (or 2 occasionally 🙃) with and let go a bit.

Everyone I meet seem to either be too tired, ready for bed by 9 (not all with small dc) teetotal or say they love a drink, but they actually mean a thimble of wine over the entire night 😂 and make me feel like an alcoholic for having 2/3 glasses!

Honestly, I'm not having a go at these women! Each to their own, but I just really miss those silly, but really good, 'wine-y' evenings, where you laugh, chat and possibly wish you went to bed a little bit earlier the morning, but it was worth it because you both had a really good night.

To clarify, I'm not talking getting paralytic, downing shots, unable to walk, drinking! I'm talking occasionally just letting go a bit. No drama or tears. Just fun.

Anyone know where I'm coming from?

Absolutely understand! It’s hard meeting people and making friends.

@ChiBox ah, good! Was waiting for the AA links tbh 😂

Oh OP this post has made me feel guilty!

I'm 51 and up until 18 months ago, I was always up for a big night out with drinks but I just can't hack it lately.

Lockdown happened, my Mum died and peri menopause got me and I literally changed overnight. Im so tired (single parent with DS7) and alcohol makes me feel like I've been hit by a truck the next day as well as very low in mood. My best mate is recently single and wants to hit the town but I just don't want to do it anymore and I feel so bad.

I hope you find someone to have fun with soon, OP!

@SaintVal Oh no, don't feel guilty! You don't have to justify why it's not your thing anymore. I actually can't drink what I used to either, so if a friend wanted to go into town clubbing, doing shots until 2am, no way! I'm just not ready for bath, book and bed by 9pm just yet 😂

I'm a thimble of wine drinker as I react pretty badly to alcohol, I have no problem if you want to drink. I won't be judging, just a tad envious.

hey OP, I went through this in my late 30s too
The 2 remedies I found were:

1. Making younger friends. Not talking kids but people in their late 20s/early 30s. It helped that I was baby faced so didn’t feel like an old lady!
2. Day drinking - the introduction of bottomless brunch revitalised some of my old drinking friends because it meant we could still have a few drinks and a good time but they could be in bed for 10pm! Win win

Have fun!

@Freixene I like option 2 👏

Small group of us, it seems 😳

I hear you and totally get it. We’ve moved house recently to a brand new area, we’re slowing making friends but I miss the couple of buddies with who I’d do exactly what you’re describing.

Where do you live haha I can do a bottle or two

I hear you @Butterscotchpudding - I could not be doing with a big night out or drinking spirits etc, but I do enjoy a bottle or two with mates every couple of months.

Do you have kids? Are they school age? I found some school mums were crazy up for it when my eldest started reception! They are still my core drinking buddies 10 years on - although we are more sensible now we're in our mid/later 40s!

I find the opposite, I don’t drink any more and my friends seem to think that means I’m now some kind of hermit

I hear you. I want a friend who ideally not only likes drinking a bit too much but also a cheeky fag at the end if the night. Oh and someone who wants a pudding as well when we go out for dinner.

I’m the same, I have some fabulous friends and very luckily but everyone single one of them is teetotal and go to bed at 9pm and my husband is too! I love a glass ( or 2 or 3 or 4 😆) but I have no one to share it with! I’m not thinking of clubbing either just a get together or meal & drinks/cocktail type bars ( I’m in the East Midlands if that helps you 🍷)

Day drinking is totally the way forward! I love drinks at lunchtime so I can have fun then sober up by bed, sleep well and no hangover!

I understand where you're coming from. I love Prosecco etc but i much prefer day drinking. A couple of glasses at lunch and then go home. I hate staying out late lol

My best friend and I were just saying that one of us has been pregnant or had a young baby for the past 3 years. We both go to bed at 9 most evenings.

BUT this won't last forever and when her next has been born 🤞🤞 it will be awesome to share a couple of bottles again now and then.

Yeah where do you live as I feel the same!

We should start a Mumsnet drinking club

I feel you! I have a couple of good drinking buddies but now one is pregnant and I always get wasted with the other one 😅 I'd love somewhere in between lol

Best idea I've read on Mumsnet 😁

OP I'm similar- would love some friends to go on nights out with, doesn't have to be mad ones doing shots til 2am but would be fun to get dressed up and go out. I really miss that from my younger days. I'm 34, single mum, wanting to relive my teens a bit 😂

@roarfeckingroarr you're on to something! MN drinking club sounds brilliant. There should be one in every town.

I long to go and drink a bottle or 2 with my friends but they all live a drive from me so it would mean expensive taxis and whatnot.

We moved to a smallish town a few years ago and in terms of meeting people it's very much men meet at the pub and womem go for coffee and cake.

BOOOOOO!

I'd rather drink my calories, thank you very much.

I guess people grow up 🤷‍♀️

Where about are you as I could've written your post (hence the apt username 🤣)! Covid, marriage, babies - everyone else's I may add, haven't had any of the 3, has left me in the same boat.

I live alone and whilst I could probably do with cutting down I do miss someone to just sit and have a bottle (or 2!) with. Nothing crazy, couldn't do a 2am club finish anymore but I hear you!