To be a bit sad I don't have any drinking buddies?...

[Butterscotchpudding]

Hi,

So I'm late 30's and over the past year or so have been quite proactive in finding new friends. Most have mine have moved away and I'm not working right now, so my social life had pretty much dried up. I bit the bullet and joined some apps. My thinking was, if dating apps are so popular and successful, then there's no shame in joining one for friends.

I've met some great women and a couple I would call genuinely good friends, so I can't complain there, but I would LOVE a friend I could share a bottle of wine (or 2 occasionally 🙃) with and let go a bit.

Everyone I meet seem to either be too tired, ready for bed by 9 (not all with small dc) teetotal or say they love a drink, but they actually mean a thimble of wine over the entire night 😂 and make me feel like an alcoholic for having 2/3 glasses!

Honestly, I'm not having a go at these women! Each to their own, but I just really miss those silly, but really good, 'wine-y' evenings, where you laugh, chat and possibly wish you went to bed a little bit earlier the morning, but it was worth it because you both had a really good night.

To clarify, I'm not talking getting paralytic, downing shots, unable to walk, drinking! I'm talking occasionally just letting go a bit. No drama or tears. Just fun.

Anyone know where I'm coming from?

Well my ears just pricked up at the mention of a wine club 😂

Feel exactly the same here. I've tried apps like peanut & mush but had no luck at all there

@BobbinThreadbare123 similar to you but a few years older. I'm in Scotland probably too far north, or I'd have a drink with you!

What Apps did you use OP? I tried peanut too with no luck. I'm down south or I'd love to join you!

Day drinking is the best when you hit forty. We never go out in the evenings now, only lunch or early dinner (about 5pm) with a couple of drinks either before or after. Loads of fun but in bed at a reasonable hour.

I don’t even think it’s just about drinking. You are talking about a relaxed, spontaneous type of friendship that is harder to find when you’re older. Everyone is preoccupied or busy. Many of my friends can only ‘allocate’ a specific time slot and want to be in bed by 11pm. People whip out packed diaries and it’s an effort to find a date, and it’s not clear how far up the priority list you are. (like who are they meeting to already be so booked up). Or you meet new people and it’s hard to get it to the next level, and then maintain it, for some reason. It’s why for many of us we fall back on people we’ve known years but that’s a problem if they don’t have time for you. Also not judging, just a fact.

Agree on finding younger friends, mine range over twenty years so all at different life stages, also it’s a numbers game so more friends needed overall.

Echo the comments that spontaneity is hard when everyone has such busy lives, and it can be easier to just think I’ll stay in - but I also miss those nights out. Mine have cut down a lot since my friends were mainly work friends and since Covid people don’t come in on regular patterns anymore. I could make more effort though!

YANBU. I feel the same. Feel like a right alcoholic. The last new friend I went out with nursed a half a pint of cider for 3 hours!

Could have written this post myself. Dh goes to the pub with his drinking buddies, but no other females ever go to the pub and the conversation gets a little bit predictable with the chaps.

Join Ladies Circle. 9 years ago I moved 250 miles away from my home town and my friends. I knew no one in the new town and got talking to a lady in a shop about having no friends or drinking buddies. She introduced me to Ladies Circle and I've been a member ever since.
Not only do I have friends in my town, but all around the country.

When I was young I was out every night, then over the years went out less and less....a mix of changes in my life and in others. I now have just one friend who I can go down the pub with, and that person is abroad a lot for work - I really miss popping to the pub! Even toyed with the idea of copying male friends who go to the pub with a book or newspaper (or all on our phones nowadays I suppose!) and have a quiet pint without being hassled.
Intrigued by Ladies Circle: will have a look!

Rats- too old for Ladies Circle! Now looking at Tangent....

I totally relate to all of this and feel just the same. I always feel a bit daft drinking on my own at home and tend to have a glass of wine when cooking or something rather than when sitting about. Miss my lifelong girl friends for boozy evenings but they are all over the globe now and my very lovely mum friends are either tee total or have a single glass of something and switch to tea types. We go for cake and coffee. I miss getting slightly plastered and dancing ☹️

As Ive got older I've had to become very moderate with alcohol to control anxiety, so I don't really want to get drunk ever again. Sorry OP 🤷🏼‍♀️

Can I join please! I love a few glasses of wine and company! I'm in South Bucks ☺️

@Ludo19 I can get to Glasgow in less than 2 hr - Bier Halle on Gordon St does great pizza as well as a catalogue of beers 😆

awww if I was closer I’d love to join wine club! I moved a year ago and still have no friends :(

@BobbinThreadbare123 well I'm like a half hour train from Glasgow!

@Butterscotchpudding and @WallopBang I’ve PM’d you.

We used to have MN meet ups. I don't know if they still happen

@BobbinThreadbare123
@Ludo19

I can get there too.

I last went to the Bier Halle about 20 years ago!

@caroleanboneparte I couldn't tell you the last time I was out drinking in Glasgow.....at least 8 years ago!

@Ludo19 @caroleanboneparte 😆couple of months ago for me!

North west here!

@Chailatteplease me too but quite far up 😄