To be a bit sad I don't have any drinking buddies?...

[Butterscotchpudding]

Hi,

So I'm late 30's and over the past year or so have been quite proactive in finding new friends. Most have mine have moved away and I'm not working right now, so my social life had pretty much dried up. I bit the bullet and joined some apps. My thinking was, if dating apps are so popular and successful, then there's no shame in joining one for friends.

I've met some great women and a couple I would call genuinely good friends, so I can't complain there, but I would LOVE a friend I could share a bottle of wine (or 2 occasionally 🙃) with and let go a bit.

Everyone I meet seem to either be too tired, ready for bed by 9 (not all with small dc) teetotal or say they love a drink, but they actually mean a thimble of wine over the entire night 😂 and make me feel like an alcoholic for having 2/3 glasses!

Honestly, I'm not having a go at these women! Each to their own, but I just really miss those silly, but really good, 'wine-y' evenings, where you laugh, chat and possibly wish you went to bed a little bit earlier the morning, but it was worth it because you both had a really good night.

To clarify, I'm not talking getting paralytic, downing shots, unable to walk, drinking! I'm talking occasionally just letting go a bit. No drama or tears. Just fun.

Anyone know where I'm coming from?

Aha! There you all are! 😁

Absolutely, a MN drinking club sounds great!

@Ineedwinenow You're from neck of the woods 🙂 I'm a bit further south these days. In more ways than one! 🤣

@ClaribelLowLieth where did you move to? The 50's?! 😉 No, I know what you mean. My sister moved somewhere similar.

@VinoDino I'm I'm the cambs area.

Ditto - I'm mid thirties now, and miss being able to go out for drinks with friends (they are all either tied up with kids etc, or have moved away). I'm suffolk!

Oh @Butterscotchpudding I work in Cambs!

I can put away 3 to 4 bottles on a night, I would join you for music and dancing round the living room and a cheeky fag 😂💃

I know! They're all very nice but not a whole lot of fun.
It's a town full of really great pubs too - such a shame [sad face]

@BatmanBaby does your work permit a bit of day drinking though?...

@Sunnyqueen to yourself?! 😲 Hardcore

tbf people will often go for a pub lunch with a drink XD

I have a couple but we get together a couple of times a year and get absolutely wasted haha

I also drink with other people but they're not so much fun

Where do you live ? I'll have a drink with you!

I moved to cambs over 20 years ago and I still haven't really found drinking buddies. I even went on a few mumsnet meet ups in Cambridge but the women I met were done after 2 drinks! It was so strange. I've given up to be honest and now I'm a bit of a hermit!

My dh on the other hand has loads of drinking buddies , goes on regular nights out. It's as if the men in this part of the country are allowed to drink but if you're a woman over say 40 then you need to start knitting for entertainment or something. So weird. I can't wait to retire and move back home tbh!

I feel the same op!

My dp doesn't drink. My exh was a cheat but I did enjoy sharing a bottle or 2 of wine with him. my dp doesn't cheat though so really shouldn't complain...

None of my friends drink much or even want to go out ever. They have younger children than me but not so young they can't go out now and again. I'm not ready for AA but I do enjoy a good bottle or red and it's always better when shared but alas, I have to drink alone

<turns up with glass in one hand, bottle in the other> I heard something about a wine club….

@TheForests see above 🙂

@Jonaskahnwaldplease depressing. I hope you haven't completely given up.

@Sunshineandflipflops yes, I think age of dc are definitely a factor. Mine are mid teens so of course that's going to be different to those with a baby or toddler, but saying that....I was always up for a good night out 😂

@Jedsnewstar will you be staying past 9pm?...

I live now where near you!

Nowhere

How far from Peterborough are you OP?

I’ve met a few people on the Peanut app but they all seem to prefer cafes.

You could be me!! I feel exactly the same as you! Mid 30’s, if you’re anywhere near me I’ll be your drinking buddy!

I do know exactly what you mean, I tend to do daytime drinking (bottomless brunches) on a Saturday once every couple of months with friends as they seem more receptive to daytime drinking. To be fair, I like the fact that I’m not hungover the next day with daytime drinking so it’s nice. However, I’d be happy to meet up at say 6pm and end the night at 11, with some food thrown in in between as I do enjoy getting ‘dressed up’ for an evening out and do miss that.

Unfortunately I do find that once women hit their 30’s, with or without kids, a lot of them just don’t want to go out in the evenings, or even during the day at weekends anymore, which makes for a really boring life if you’re still up for it!

@TheForests Bah! ☹️

@MinnieMountain not too far actually.

@Autumnalfeels01 it's definitely sounding like the way forward, but I do know what you mean about getting dressed up.

I'll join the drinking club! I fall into that odd space of late 30s but I've no kids. I can't hack 2am finishes any more but I do like to hear the bell in the pub. I like a pudding as well, to the PP who said that! Anyone in the North?

Ooooh can I join please? I'm not far from Cambridge either!

I'm in a similar boat OP. I have friends who are married or coupled up and they all have children. Couldn't tell you the last time we had a proper night out, despite me suggesting it.

I on the other hand am single with one child. I would love to spend my child free weekends letting my hair down occasionally out on the town, maybe even have a dance. And I do very much enjoy a drink!

@MotherOfFireBreathers also single mum to 2 (from January) and 34. We have enough in common to enjoy wine together!

Anyone in London?

Hear bloody hear 👏👏👏👏👏

Oh I could have written this (except for the apps- I never knew there were ones for friends!)

I'd love more of a social life. (Dp is a homebody who would prefer to stay in 'babysitting' than go out).

So I can go out but just don't have anyone to go out with.

I do like a dance as well as a drink though. I find sitting around in pubs stifling. I like a boogie.

Wish I was near you... I really miss having a few glasses of wine over some food (or not!) but no-one my age seems up for that anymore (late 40s).

Not necessarily. I'm 62 and have a local group of friends who will often go to the boozer on short notice. Four of us were in the pub this Tuesday, I'm the oldest and the youngest is 49 so the kids can mostly look after themselves but some still need organising. Four and a half pints later...
I also have friends I regularly meet for lunch and share a bottle of wine (or two).
I also meet up with my sister and various cousins for lunch or overnight.
DD is 19 and enjoys a drink now and then.
You'll be spoilt for choice, you just need to get a bit older!