To think I haven’t actually done anything wrong here?

[ImAnnoyedActually]

I’m putting on my hard hat for this, genuinely interested to see if MN thinks I am being U

Currently on mat leave with DC2 (3mo). Went to visit a friend this afternoon, left around 1 and got home at 5:10. Friend lives about half an hour away from us.

DH rang me at 5:05 (just after he finished work wfh) to see where I was. I answered straight away and said I was on the high street (which is less than 5 mins from our house) so nearly home. I offered to pick up DD1 from nursery as I was already out but DH said he would do it to avoid messing the baby around getting him in and out of the car (nursery is only round the corner so we usually walk). He normally does every pick up anyway as he likes the moment when DD sees him and runs over for a big cuddle (I have offered to pick up DD before but he’s said he enjoys it so it’s not like its an extra job for him iyswim)

DH leaves just before I get in. Before he gets back I put dinner on. He comes back in a sulk because I didn’t tell him what I was doing.

Meet up with friend was in the shared calendar (along with her address) for 1 hour as that’s the default setting on my phone and when I put it in I had no idea how long I’d be there. DH says he shouldn’t have had to call me to find out what the plans are. I said sorry, next time I’ll message when I’m leaving friends so you know I’m on my way home. He keeps up his sulk but AIBU to think I haven’t actually done anything wrong here? I agree it would have been more considerate to message him as I was leaving but I was distracted chatting to friend and by baby and knew I’d be home around the time he’d finish work.

As soon as he tried to contact me I answered so it’s not like he’s been left wondering for hours where I am but it is apparently a massive inconvenience for him to have to ring me?

He’s been in a snit all evening and after initially saying sorry I’m now feeling he’s being a bit of a twat about it.

YABU - is really inconsiderate to not let partner know what time you’ll be home. Do better!

YANBU - it’s mildly inconsiderate to not message when leaving but hasn’t actually caused an issue for DH and he’s making a mountain out of a mole hill

I’ll take MN judgement on this!

I'm not sure why anyone has to be in a grump that they need to communicate to find out what peoples' plans are!!

Sulking is such an unattractive trait in a grown man. So happy I don't have to deal with this anymore. Is he resentful of your mat leave by any chance?

She told him she was going out before she left

I don't understand how he was inconvenienced if he meant to pick up DD1 anyway? I'd have left a note in the circumstances, not interrrupted someone WFH because I don't like that when it happens to me, but if you normally use the diary or just tell each other earlier on that should be fine. Anyway, it's not worth a snit all evening; if he wants you to do something differently next time he can suggest what it is he'd prefer and both discuss it.

He's abusive

I didn't say she didn't.

I was quoting another poster.

Good luck with the chat OP. He really is being a monumental twat.

Same. He’s being ridiculous.

He’s been fine today, hoping it was just a bad day. Haven’t managed a proper chat today as I’ve had both kids and can’t be arsed to now they’re in bed (I’ll be following them very shortly as am knackered)

Will be out again tomorrow afternoon with no fixed plan of when I’ll be back so will see what he’s like. If he’s a dick again I’ll definitely be having words!

It's not as if he said he was worried about you because you weren't back! Sounds either rather controlling or jealous of not getting your attention. Or both.

This.

I actually disagree with most and think it’s not that unreasonable for him to ask about letting him know when you’ve left.

If he was only expecting you to be gone for an hour/2 inc traveling has it ever crossed your mind he could have been worried about you and baby?

The shared diary?? Do married couples actually have this?

Another vote for controlling.

The sulking is a bit much but he’s working from home and probably is feeling a bit isolated and bored, maybe even depressed. Little things get magnified. Does he get days to socialise? Do you both communicate well in general? Is he the main earner and if so does he feel that you are taking him for granted?

My DH was like this when I was on maternity leave. Felt sorry for himself when he was working and I was out with the baby. I forcefully pointed out to him that keeping a baby alive and entertained 24/7 was far more stressful than his 9 to 5 non-challenging IT job.

Sorry I see you’re on mat leave.
He may resent that but he shouldn’t - give him the baby for a day at the weekend so he can see what he is “missing”.

😁

I'd do the same.

As well as all the above, I'd send text message, what's app, emails and even a pigeon, saying
7am -9am getting myself and children dressed
9am - 10am taking DD to childcare, may be longer if having a gossip with other mums. I think Sharon is getting her test results back today.
10-12- not sure, maybe lounging about and ensuring baby stays out of trouble
12- 1pm lunch
1pm till whenever - going to Becky's house.

But, I'm petty aswell.

This.

Then he can do what he did and ring to check all is ok. The op answered immediately. No one is saying that is unacceptable.

But there is no issue with op’s actions and no need for him to behave like a spoiled brat all evening because his adult wife chose to spend an afternoon out with a friend. Quite concerning really that you seem to think this type of behaviour is acceptable. It really isn’t.