AIBU to think this was uncool...and should I say something?

[Mummbles]

NC because school mums are everywhere!!

DS recently started a new school and I'm in the school mum's Whatsapp group - I don't say much. A few other mums were complaining about a few issues with the school and I'd had the same issues with DS, so I outlined that I'd had the same/similar issues. After a few people had said similar pieces, one person subtley raised the idea of perhaps making a group comment on an issue and another responded that it's probably best for individuals to raise their own individual issues if they choose to do so - and a few others agreed.

Then, today, DH and I got an email from the school saying "I'm sorry to hear you weren't happy with [problem raised by other mum in the chat that we stated we also had an issue with]. Here's a clarification of the situation, here's a resolution etc". All very professional, all well-handled. It really wasn't a big problem and we wouldn't have raised it because, for us, it wasn't a big enough issue to warrant raising.

AIBU to think it's out of line for another parent in the whatsapp group to have contacted the school on our behalf, naming us as having complained or is that expected when you divulge information in the group chat? And, furthermore, should I say something in the group chat or just drop it? I don't want to make any enemies.

There is the solution...never join a school mums WhatsApp group.
Suckers for punishment.
Managed to get my DC very happily through schooling without.

I wouldn’t raise it, especially if you don’t want to make enemies but even if you don’t much care, I still wouldn’t raise it. You have nothing to gain. Just be more circumspect in what you post to the group.

I don’t think whoever complained should have given the details of your issue with your name to the school. But equally, if you don’t want things getting back to the school, don’t mention them on a group chat. As others have said, you have no idea what everyone’s relationships with the school are, so it may be getting back to them even if there isn’t someone putting together a combined complaint. Consider your comments to be public.

If you’re concerned about the school misreading your strength of feeling on the matter, respond to their letter thanking them for writing but letting them know that while whatever happened happened, you did not realise anyone was contacting the school on your behalf and you had not asked to be part of any complaint, You had assumed they had good reason for their actions. Or similar. Though I doubt it would make much difference to them if the issue is similar to the examples you’ve given.

Leave it. You’re now an accepted group member, who has unwittingly gone along with something. These groups can be cliquey but you’re on it for your dc. Just keep it bland from now on.

Like @Chailatteplease we had a similar situation with ( a totally unhinged) parent on the what’s app chat who sent screen shots of the what’s app chat to the headteacher to back up her complaints..
She was not popular afterwards !

As someone who has worked in a school office I can say never ever talk about anything on a parent's WhatsApp group that you wouldn't mind the school staff seeing. There is always a grass!

I'd say something on the group WhatsApp

Complete breach of trust, gdpr and privacy.

I would def raise in the WhatsApp group in no uncertain terms be clear that it is not to happen again.

This is probably a good rule of thumb. Always presume the school management will see the messages, or simply don't join the WhatsApp group. We also had this in my ds class group, one unhinged mother had it in for the teacher. It all ended in tears and drama with the mum getting called into the principal's office for a telling off.
Such nonsense. I left the WhatsApp group when that all kicked off, never joined another school one, and my child has suffered no ill effects.

What a bloody nightmare. I haven't got a phone so it's just as well I don't have young children either.

Nobody should be speaking on your behalf unless you have asked them to do so.

This post has not been deleted by MNHQ for breaking Talk Guidelines. That's why it is still here.

How is it a GDPR issue? Its a parent's WhatsApp set up by parents.

🤣

Are these school whatsapp groups the new 'clique' I wonder? You read so much about mums being excluded from the chat. It all seems pretty damn vicious to me