Person who cooks the meal has first dibs on the leftovers

[Rach247]

I purchased the ingredients and made a pasta bake last night for the family. Nothing exciting but quite tasty nonetheless (I put tinned salmon in and lots of cheese). Husband ate three portions. There was a bit left over and I fancied it for my lunch today, to make a change from sandwiches when WFH. I went into the kitchen at 1pm to find my husband finishing it off.

AIBU to say that whoever cooks the meal has first dibs on the leftovers?

I don't think anyone has dibs on the leftovers, but I would have told DH I was planning to have them for my lunch so to keep his hands off them.

Did you tell him you were planning to eat it?

@BeKindToYourMind no, I didn’t tell him. I just assumed that any polite person would ask before they ate it all!

I don't think whoever cooks gets leftovers but I do know if my dh had had 3 portions of a meal he would leave the rest for me! That's basic courtesy!

He sounds like a greedy pig.

If he hadn't had 3 portions last night, there would have been enough for lunch for both.

But he was a pig so definitely should have left leftovers for you.

If the twat won't respect this then hide your leftovers in the veg drawer.

@trevthecat yes! Simple good manners. But ESPECIALLY if you didn’t cook it.

If DP cooked a meal, I would ask first before finishing off the left overs next day. I wouldn't automatically assume he had dibs, but I would ask, because it's polite.

He sounds really greedy and selfish.

@pewtypie very greedy behaviour indeed, and that is a good point about there being enough for both if he hadn’t stuffed his face.

Yeah I agree with PP, it isn't about who cooks, but he's already had three lots to your one, so that one was by rights yours!

Sounds like my ex! I used to batch cook something like bolognese to have for a few days so I didnt have to cook after work. We would eat it on the Sunday night and there would be enough for us both for at least Monday and Tuesday, probably Wednesday.

I got sick and tired of coming home knackered on the Monday and he'd eaten all of it, but hadn't bothered going shopping for anything else for me to have

This just reads really weird to me. do you keep score of who has cooked? And they mentally own the food because they have cooked it?

unless I said to DH ‘please don’t eat that, I have earmarked it for work tomorrow’, I don’t think I have any claim over it. It just goes in the fridge for whoever wants it next.

if DH cooked lasagne and was pissed at me for eating the leftovers without asking because ‘he cooked it’- I’d think he was insane for thinking he could claim possession of a lasagne made for the family with family money.

Get him to cook you a nice hot lunch as a replacement. Least he can do to atone.

But I guess the real question is, did you say anything to him aside from complaining on here? And if so, how did he react?

No one would have dibs on leftovers here, mind you we only have one portion for a meal and never go back for extras so I understand you're peeved if DH has scoffed so much. If there's likely to be some for the next day, then I usually point out it's there for one of us and we decide who's going to have it - in your case, I think you need to make it clear that you intend to have the rest of your share the next day.

(Like he sounds greedy and all- I’m not disputing that, but I just don’t get the logic of ‘I have cooked it so it is mine’)

I usually do all the cooking - I never feel I have dibs on leftovers.

I'd have said as I was putting it in the fridge last night I was having it for lunch the next day.

If it's just sitting in the fridge it obviously needs using, no one get dibs particularly. It would have been nice for him to ask but I wouldn't fall out over it if its the first time .

As PP have said it’s not that you cooked it but that he’d already eaten loads of it.

I have a similar bottomless pit DH and have taken to saying very clearly “I’m saving a portion for my lunch” to stop him hoovering up the last portion when I’d deliberately cooked extra for leftovers. (This is after he’s already had seconds).

I don't do all the cooking but have dibs on the leftovers because DH rarely thinks of eating them himself.

Cooking the meal doesn't automatically confer rights to the leftovers. At our house, leftovers are fair game.

We discuss it when it’s made/eaten on the evening. I would object to my husband eating four portions of a family meal in any case though. Also would object to anyone eating four portions of anything containing tinned salmon in a less-than-24-hour period if they intended to share a bed with me.

I've never really thought about who has dibs on leftovers. However, if there was something left and we were both wfh, I cannot imagine just eating it all myself without asking dp if he wanted some also, and vice versa.

DP does 99% of the cooking so I'd never get any leftovers here according to this rule (in practice I get most of them as I'm the one WFH).

If either of us want to earmark any leftovers for ourselves or to use in a separate meal then we say so. If not they're fair game.

I cook the meals here (single parent) and announce that the left overs are for me so nobody touches it.
When my kids cook for themselves then the leftovers are for them.
When somebody fancies homemade cake then we have a rule to ask the person who baked. 99.9% of the time, they say yes.

I don’t necessarily think the one who cooks has dibs on leftovers but I do think it’s bad form to have more than your full share of anything. So if you’ve had several portions and other people haven’t you obviously think of that and don’t finish off the last piece.

You certainly aren't being unreasonable to expect a second portion of any dish before greedy guts has third and fourth helpings, whether you've cooked it or not.