Person who cooks the meal has first dibs on the leftovers

[Rach247]

I purchased the ingredients and made a pasta bake last night for the family. Nothing exciting but quite tasty nonetheless (I put tinned salmon in and lots of cheese). Husband ate three portions. There was a bit left over and I fancied it for my lunch today, to make a change from sandwiches when WFH. I went into the kitchen at 1pm to find my husband finishing it off.

AIBU to say that whoever cooks the meal has first dibs on the leftovers?

@babyyodaxmas yes, thank you! Finally someone agrees!

I also agreed up thread and am baffled by some of the responses. People must like endlessly cooking meals that they get to eat hardly any of. One of the big advantages of cooking extra at dinner is that you already have lunch sorted. I'd be very annoyed if someone else came in and hoovered it all up, leaving me nothing for lunch.

Thank you @BarbaraofSeville, I’m so glad I’m not unanimously unreasonable!

I didn't realise you can dibs leftovers if you made the food. My husband owes me 15 years of leftovers (the greedy sh£%) 😋

Do people Really live like this, counting how much the other eats, putting “dibs” on food like a student in a house share and going on line to slag of their husband ? Encouraging people to call him a greedy pig?

fuck me no wonder 50% of marriages end in divorce. All because he didn’t ask if you wanted the bloody leftover pasta, so you get to be abusive and encourage others to.

I agreed too @Rach247! Though I'm a bit scared to admit it now. No divorce as yet.

I think people should check with others before eating the last of something. Especially if it's something special. And insult added to injury if the one who made the effort to cook doesn't get the option of seconds when there was plenty to go around

I also agreed up thread and am baffled by some of the responses. People must like endlessly cooking meals that they get to eat hardly any of. One of the big advantages of cooking extra at dinner is that you already have lunch sorted. I'd be very annoyed if someone else came in and hoovered it all up, leaving me nothing for lunch
It's no extra effort to make a bigger portion of soup or pasta bake than a smaller batch.

I honestly couldn't be bothered keeping tabs on whether DH or I had the right number of spoonfuls or allocating leftover lunches based on who was least hungry the night before. It all seems so petty.

But DH and I share the cooking equitably and don't keep score on that either.

I think it is manners to ask other people if they want the leftovers or if ok to finish.

I don't know who has first dibs on left overs but I'd say the person who's eaten three portions for their dinner should offer the rest to the other adult.My DH is notorious for things like this as he's quite lazy and selfish when it comes to food.

I don't know about dibs but we discuss who is going to have the leftovers, for example we had leftover pizza on Sunday and my partner asked if I wanted it for lunch on Monday I said no and that he should take it to work for his lunch. He wouldn't have just taken the pizza without checking.

What’s a marriage without some petty and ridiculous resentments to dwell on when you feel inclined? I also hate the noise he makes when he brushes his teeth, but no plans for divorce over it yet… 😆

As long as he didn't take the last chocolate digestive.

Here, he cooks because currently I can't.

We generally assume half each as there's just us - so up to each of us whether we eat our half in one go or save some.

Neither of us would eat the other persons share without asking - though he once ate my left over dominos pizza without asking (3/4 of a pizza!) and I did have a strop and make him buy me another one as I'd been looking forward to it all day!

That has been his only instance of eating my left overs though, we both feel its polite to ask first.

If we did both do the cooking then if there was an uneven number of portions, I think whoever cooked it gets first dibs is fair!

Very true OP. My petty irritation is the every present box of stuff in our utility room that needs to go into the garage, but never does. It doesn't really get in the way, but it annoys me to the point of petty grumbling.

You should have just said, please don't eat that, I'm having it for lunch tomorrow, I don't feel who cooks has priority. X

Exactly

You used to eat the same meal for 4 days straight? 😕

Seeing as he had three portions it is greedy. X

I would expect to be asked if I wanted some, particularly if he had eaten 3 bloody portions! My DH is on lates, so he made a meal and left me half. Then I made a meal and left him half. If there is any left, we at least check to see if someone wants more/wants if for packed lunch, it’s only polite.

I voted YABU in general, because I don't think the cook should necessarily get all the leftovers. In this situation, however, I don't think YAactuallyBU. People who thoughtlessly scoff more than their fair share of food and leave none for anyone else really, really annoy me. It would annoy me even more if someone did that after I'd cooked.

Unless you have a "fend for yourself" household, I'd say the person who cooks a meal has no more right to it than their partner, but it would be reasonable to ask someone to leave X for you, or to institute a rule that if something is on a certain shelf/type of storage container, it's to be saved for another proper meal, not for random snacking between meals.

I'm much more likely than DH to go scavenging for a hearty snack of leftovers, but I wouldn't eat something if I knew he was planning to have it later.

Yes. I'd never consider that a portion for myself and DH should be equal, but clearly OP does!

Ah, maybe portion is the wrong word, three helpings would have been more accurate. It was a ‘big dish on the table and help yourself’ situation. But I really didn’t care how much he ate at that point…

Can’t believe there is so much fuss and debate about a pasta bake that a 14 year old would make. Hardly haute cuisine is it.

Petty rule making like this would drive me bananas. Just a bit too close to point scoring isn’t it