Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

Last comment from me. I have found the prejudice and narrow-minded by a few posters on here, hateful and hurtful.

I cannot use my fork or spoon in my right hand. I have tried. I am very predominantly left-hand. Very. My right hand is weaker than my left. If I carry my coffee much in my right hand/arm, it shakes, and I risk spilling it. If I were to use a spoon in my right hand (which I've tried numerous times) my hand shakes and the soup or whatever risks dribbling onto my chest, or the table.

I cannot eat with my right hand.

So for people to say I can 'train' myself, is the same sort of hurtful and ignorant philosophy that decades ago said a child can be 'trained' to write with their right hand. I cannot do either. My not being able to write right-handed, or carry a coffee mug right-handed without spilling or lifting a spoon full of liquid to my mouth without spilling, does NOT make me a 'slob' or lazy, or 'scum', or improper. It makes me a human being that cannot use my right hand for those things effectively.

All it takes is a little bit of compassion, some understanding. And not judging someone for not being able to do something ('rules' that the privileged right handers made) that is not our fault. The ignorance, the judgement, the narrow-mindedness, the lack of understanding, empathy and compassion, says far more about those posters than it does about lefties like me who cannot operate in the same way they do, through absolutely NO FAULT OF OUR OWN. I would love to be a rightie because my handwriting smudges and is terrible. But my handwriting with my right hand goes in circles and is a mess. Likewise my ability to operate certain cutlery. The 'train them' mindset is exactly the same as the 'train them to write right handed mindset'. Both contain expectations of a situation where we cannot be trained. I'd rather eat flawlessly than spill half my food on myself.

I thought that mindset of 'training' someone to use their non-dominant hand had died out. It's a shame to see that same prejudice, lack of understanding and lack of basic human compassion is still alive in this era.

In fact, this is actually a form of disablism. Expecting someone to be trained and made to do something we can't do. It's prejudice and discrimination.

Due to cultural and social pressures, many left-handed children were forced to write and perform other activities with their right hands. This conversion can cause multiple problems in the developing left-handed child, including learning disorders, dyslexia,[12] stuttering[13][14][15] and other speech disorders.
from wiki.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock I whole heartedly agree with you!

I went to a school wehre they insisted you had to write with your right hand - for many years I ended up ampidextrous at most things, less so now.
Because it never used to bother me, I just have a mental block about laying a table - if I start to eat occasionally I'll switch hands, not necessarily, it doesn;t bother me that much.

YABVVU

My 2 DC, in their 30's and DH all eat holding their fork in their right hand. None are left handed and it's not something I've ever thought about trying to change.

What a tit.

The head teacher at my children's primary school used to complain bitterly that there were parents who sent children to school completely ignorant of what cutlery was for.-they picked up food and ate it from their hand. That was over 30 years ago.

Oh for the good old days.....

Which weren't.

I'm right handed and eat with the fork in my right hand, if it was in my left hand I'd be all over the place and no food would end up in my mouth.
DD is left handed and eats with fork in left hand as that's what gives her more control.
Whatever works for you I say

My family have fork in right hand, related to our beliefs/religion as the left hand is the hand we use to clean/wipe our bottoms so is considered less clean. Then right hand to eat! Some people do it this way others do it the other way. Odd thing to feel iffed about.

Have you ever thought of NOT being a twat?

No one is this ridiculous.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock

People use their non dominant hands all the time when driving manual shift cars on the left.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock

Am I reading your post right - the one where you adamantly state that neither left nor right handed people can hold/ use a fork with their left hand?

I'm going to suggest that you are dead wrong there.

Still waiting on why this is such a crucial life skill

No, it doesn't. A fork is what delivers the food from your plate to your mouth. The fork contains the food and is manoeuvred to you mouth. That, requires more dexterity than cutting, while the fork holds the meat (or whatever it is) in place.
Which makes it even more nonsensical for someone to then hold their fork in their right hand and knife in left and claim that's due to being left-handed surely?

It's like driving where I have always considered being left-handed a great advantage being able to use the gear stick in my dominant hand.

I see not a single "Left is Right" person can actually telling a WHY it is the correct thing to do.

@mathanxiety No you're not reading it right at all. I said that many left handed people hold the fork in their left hand because it's their dominant hand.

Yes, why? Why does cutlery have to be held in a particular way? It seems it is simply tradition and I don't believe tradition is a good enough reason to judge people for the manner in which they convey food to their mouths. Some people just need some spurious reason to feel superior. It's pathetic.

Personally as long as someone doesn't sit near me chomping on their food with their mouth open I couldn't care less which hand held which utensil.

How on earth do you know they weren't left handed or American?

This thread is ignorant and ableist. Anyone agreeing with the OP is ill-educated and I'm rather embarrassed for you.

I get where you're coming from.

I hate sitting at a table with anyone who holds their knife like a pen. It's so fuckin' annoying to look at.

On a more serious note, a member of the clergy was telling me about how some children in the area he works in are so feral that they don't know how to sit at a table to eat or how to use a knife and fork - because they have never been shown.
That is linked to poverty and neglect more than anything else though.

I have never understood why the fork "should" be held in the left hand anyway. Surely the vast majority of the population are right handed (90% according to Google) and the fork is the one doing all the lifting etc so should be in the dominant hand?
Sorry OP, I also wear my watch on my right wrist! I think this is considered a sin too.

If I'm slumming it in front of the TV on my own eating a bowl of pasta for example, I cannot thing of a reason why I would hold the fork in my left hand.

I also hold my pen/pencil "wrong" according to everyone (however my hand writing is extremely neat and probably better than theirs).

Who makes up these arbitrary rules?

Do any lefties here feel better holding the fork in their dominant left hand? To my brain it just makes more sense.
And I can honestly say I've never once noticed or cared what people in cafes etc do with their cutlery!

It's the knife that needs to be in the dominant hand - it's doing the more difficult task. If only using a fork most then move it to their dominant hand.

@MrsDooDaa I was trying to explain this to my husband last night. I have no control for cutting things with my (dominant) right hand but have no issues cutting with the knife in my left hand. I don't know why this is. It's just natural to do it like that. My right hand with the fork keeps the item still and then the left hand makes the sawing motion to cut it.