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AIBU?

To think it’s rude not to text back?

85 replies

feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 19:50

If that same person has replied in a group chat?

I messaged friend on Saturday to check she got home ok after I dropped her off at the train station and heard nothing back.

Today a friend in a group chat (who we also saw on Saturday) asked a very generic question and she’s messaged back in that.

Just think it’s a bit rude

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Changingplace · 31/10/2022 19:52

I would assume she’d just forgotten to reply rather than purposefully been rude, I wouldn’t jump to be offended.

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thistimelastweek · 31/10/2022 19:56

I think it's rude. Seems to me like ignoring someone who just spoke to you.

But I'm getting older and don't always see things like the younger generation.

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thelobsterquadrille · 31/10/2022 19:59

Maybe she just forgot?

I often get texts, mentally reply and forget to actually reply.

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SpookyMcGhoul · 31/10/2022 20:00

I sometimes open a message meaning to reply, get distracted and totally forget - and in my head think I've replied already! Could that have happened?

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Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:03

Does it matter? Obviously you know she got back home okay if she has sent a message.

I don't always reply to messages if I don't feel like replying.

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Metabigot · 31/10/2022 20:09

I think it's rude to repeatedly not reply. The odd occasion I can forgive.

Recently I de friended someone ( not a close friend) for repeatedly not replying but then when she saw me out and about full of excuses and 'we really should meet up!'

Fell for it again texted her to arrange something and got ignored again

OK maybe she wasn't really my friend. But I found it humiliating so I've written her off.

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feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:10

Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:03

Does it matter? Obviously you know she got back home okay if she has sent a message.

I don't always reply to messages if I don't feel like replying.

You’d read a question a friend asked you and think nah? Do you have friends.

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feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:11

SpookyMcGhoul · 31/10/2022 20:00

I sometimes open a message meaning to reply, get distracted and totally forget - and in my head think I've replied already! Could that have happened?

I don’t think so as I don’t think she opened the message as there’s no blue tick.

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UnstableCarHouse · 31/10/2022 20:11

I assume she just forgot to reply. It happens.

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Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:17

feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:10

You’d read a question a friend asked you and think nah? Do you have friends.

Yes, sometimes, if it's not that important.

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PritiPatelsMaker · 31/10/2022 20:20

My phone often doesn't show me messages. I have no idea why.

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girlfriend44 · 31/10/2022 20:20

Text her and ask her why she didn't reply lol.

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DelurkingAJ · 31/10/2022 20:22

Never put down to conspiracy what can be adequately explained by cock up is my motto. Assume it wasn’t deliberate, don’t take offence, don’t get wound up, everyone will be happier.

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pinkpotatoez · 31/10/2022 20:26

She probably forgot to message when she got back & now it's been too long to say 'yes I got home safe' as that's obvious or you would have called the police 😂

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feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:27

Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:17

Yes, sometimes, if it's not that important.

You’re not a nice person.

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suzyscat · 31/10/2022 20:34

I'm the worst at replying. I reply in my head a lot of start typing and get distracted by the kids and then mentally tick it off in my head. Nearly every time I go to write a message there's a half drafted response to something I've failed to send. I do try to do better but I hate how phones give everyone a sense of immediacy as I would rather limit screen time anyway. (She says zoning out on mumsnet Confused)

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Snoken · 31/10/2022 20:43

suzyscat · 31/10/2022 20:34

I'm the worst at replying. I reply in my head a lot of start typing and get distracted by the kids and then mentally tick it off in my head. Nearly every time I go to write a message there's a half drafted response to something I've failed to send. I do try to do better but I hate how phones give everyone a sense of immediacy as I would rather limit screen time anyway. (She says zoning out on mumsnet Confused)

I completely agree with you. Just because I have a phone doesn’t mean I am obliged to answer messages straight away, especially those that aren’t in any way critical. If something is urgent you call.

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grayhairdontcare · 31/10/2022 20:44

There is no such thing as an urgent text

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Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:45

feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:27

You’re not a nice person.

That wasn't a nice response. Perhaps that's why you didn't get one from your friend?

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feelingfuller · 31/10/2022 20:47

Keyansier · 31/10/2022 20:45

That wasn't a nice response. Perhaps that's why you didn't get one from your friend?

Literally makes no sense at all.

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sleepwouldbenice · 31/10/2022 20:49

I do much better with messages I can mark as unread in case I can't reply that moment

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introverteccentric · 31/10/2022 20:52

Maybe she thought she had responded, I know with the newer mode of iPhones you can look at a message in WhatsApp without is showing as read (almost like a preview) maybe she did this and thought she'd got back to you. If she has form for doing it, be annoyed, if it's a one off I'd forgive and forget

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Cw112 · 31/10/2022 20:54

So you messaged on Saturday, she read it was busy forgot to reply and then on a different day replied to a new message that came through. No I think you're reading into this more than you need to.

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Obki · 31/10/2022 20:56

I really hate this think some women do where they check up on each other, because it often means nothing.

OP, when your friend didn’t reply what did you do? Did you call the police? Did you drive over to her house?

No, you dod nothing. So what was the point of asking her if she got home?

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CaptainThe95thRifles · 31/10/2022 21:08

I often see messages, think I'll reply and get distracted before I do. A pointless "did you get home OK?" text would be low on my priorities. I'm an adult, getting home is my problem, and I don't need people checking up on me.

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