To think it’s rude not to text back?

[feelingfuller]

If that same person has replied in a group chat?

I messaged friend on Saturday to check she got home ok after I dropped her off at the train station and heard nothing back.

Today a friend in a group chat (who we also saw on Saturday) asked a very generic question and she’s messaged back in that.

Just think it’s a bit rude

[BagOfBollocks]

Sometimes I read a text at an inappropriate time to text back.

The fact I've read it and thought of a reply, sometimes means I convince myself I actually did reply.

[ClaryFairchild]

I hate people checking "if I got home safely" from a journey I do in my own all the time normally without being checked up on. I've been known to ignore these type of messages too!

[Keyansier]

@Obki

I really hate this think some women do where they check up on each other, because it often means nothing.

OP, when your friend didn’t reply what did you do? Did you call the police? Did you drive over to her house?

No, you dod nothing. So what was the point of asking her if she got home?

I think that is a good point.

[Arenanewbie]

She probably was doing something when she’s got your message and couldn’t reply and then forgot that she didn’t reply but your message disappeared from the screen as it was read. Today the new message appeared when she was able to reply and she replied.
I’ve got it many times, options:
battery was nearly zero,
she was going out of the public transport/ opening her door/ taking off her shoes/ washing her hands/ taking off her clothes
she was in the bath so her hands were wet
She started typing and her DC called her like it was end of life emergency ( that’s my reason usually) etc etc
I’m suspicious type but even I don’t think that it’s something personal towards you.

[Mooloolabababy]

@PritiPatelsMaker

My phone often doesn't show me messages. I have no idea why.

Same here. I could receive a WhatsApp message and miss the notification and it doesn't always show that I've got an unread message unless I look at my chats.

[feelingfuller]

@Obki

I really hate this think some women do where they check up on each other, because it often means nothing.

OP, when your friend didn’t reply what did you do? Did you call the police? Did you drive over to her house?

No, you dod nothing. So what was the point of asking her if she got home?

You have issues if you HATE a friend doing nothing but being nice. What a sad life.

I would have followed it up the next day. Unfortunately I’m on strong medication and I took some when I got home and fell asleep very quickly.

[feelingfuller]

@Keyansier

I think that is a good point.

The fact you’re hanging around this thread to pounce on any comment that would go against me is hilarious. But very very sad on your part.

You aren’t a nice person and you’ve proved that twice in one thread.

[RishisProudMum]

@feelingfuller

The fact you’re hanging around this thread to pounce on any comment that would go against me is hilarious. But very very sad on your part.

You aren’t a nice person and you’ve proved that twice in one thread.

What is wrong with you?!

[Solmum1964]

If I get several WhatsApp messages only the latest one shows on my screen. If I click on view I go straight to that chat and then don't always leave that chat so could miss a message. Quite easy to do.

[Survey99]

@feelingfuller

You have issues if you HATE a friend doing nothing but being nice. What a sad life.

I would have followed it up the next day. Unfortunately I’m on strong medication and I took some when I got home and fell asleep very quickly.

You fell asleep Saturday night and all day Sunday until your friend replied to another message on Monday?

Perhaps your friend missed your message, or never read it until Monday and thought it didnt need a reply anymore as you hadnt chased up for over a day so you were not actually concerned whether she got home or not.

[parameter]

@feelingfuller

The fact you’re hanging around this thread to pounce on any comment that would go against me is hilarious. But very very sad on your part.

You aren’t a nice person and you’ve proved that twice in one thread.

you’re behaving like a petulant child

[Growuppeople]

So you text her Saturday asking if she got home ok and you had no reply? She may have fell asleep? What did you do when you hadn’t heard back from her? For two days?

[NameOfMine]

You wanted to check she got home safely - it's common sense to respond. What if she hadn't? At what point would you call the police? You happened to have seen another post she's made, but checking up that people have arrived home safely is particularly important after what happened in the sad case of Sarah Everard. There is a possibility that she typed a reply and forgot to press send.

[Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit]

@NameOfMine

You wanted to check she got home safely - it's common sense to respond. What if she hadn't? At what point would you call the police? You happened to have seen another post she's made, but checking up that people have arrived home safely is particularly important after what happened in the sad case of Sarah Everard. There is a possibility that she typed a reply and forgot to press send.

Exactly this.

I'd hope that if the situation had been in reverse and somebody sent a text asking you had reached home safely that they would have waited for your reply and if the reply didn't arrive, they'd have tried to contact you and then alert others that you were potentially not in a safe place.

For these alerts to happen, we have to be consistent in asking AND replying for otherwise they won't be of any use as it won't be 'out of character' for her not to reply and family members/authorities will be slower to react.

[Mlb123]

@feelingfuller

You have issues if you HATE a friend doing nothing but being nice. What a sad life.

I would have followed it up the next day. Unfortunately I’m on strong medication and I took some when I got home and fell asleep very quickly.

You're displaying signs of anxiety with your response to some of the messages on here. You've taken it personally that your friend didn't respond to your personal text while happily responding to a general enquiry on your group chat. Your friend will have most probably forgotten to respond to your text and then believed that answering on the group thread would satisfy your question too as it would be seen by you. Maybe she even thought about texting you after that, but then thought it would seem ott if you were asking if she got home safely out of politeness as many people do. It's something I have done many times myself and I have often enquired that of others not as I felt they wouldn't have got home safely. It was more as a way of acknowledging that I had spent time with them and I was never too surprised if I didn't get a reply to it especially if some time had passed as it would be pretty obvious by then. You writing about people not being a nice person and other things for not replying to non urgent texts then saying 'You have issues if you HATE a friend doing nothing but being nice.' shows that you are taking this very personally and you're really defensive to the extent that you've got to have anxiety or have had some bad experiences that are making this seem like a huge rejection. I don't think telling you that you're wrong to feel this way Is helpful and instead I would urge you to simply ask your friend about it so you can find out whether they meant to be intentionally rude. I hope that they reassure you otherwise, but if not then you can find better friends who will consider you important enough to text you back xxxx

[TooBigForMyBoots]

YABU. If you need a response, you call.

[Glitteratitar]

@Obki

I really hate this think some women do where they check up on each other, because it often means nothing.

OP, when your friend didn’t reply what did you do? Did you call the police? Did you drive over to her house?

No, you dod nothing. So what was the point of asking her if she got home?

Exactly what I was thinking. What’s the point in asking if you don’t actually mean it? If you meant it you would have followed up instead of showing faux concern.

[Mlb123]

@feelingfuller

The fact you’re hanging around this thread to pounce on any comment that would go against me is hilarious. But very very sad on your part.

You aren’t a nice person and you’ve proved that twice in one thread.

I took this as the poster saying that it was a good point about you not doing anything when you didn't hear back about your friend getting home safely until you read her reply on the group chap which is potentially her genuine opinion of it and much more likely than her hanging around to pounce on any thread going against you. My heart actually goes out to you as you do seem to be taking things badly and there is always a story behind these things where the person has suffered hurt from other people . Nobody on here knows you personally so they are not likely to hold a grudge, but some will enjoy winding the person up and not understand how the poster is taking things the way they are because they have been genuinely hurt in the past and will just think the poster is ott or overreacting. They don't know what is driving things , they only know what they can glean from posts xxx

[Mlb123]

Anyway , I know the feeling of rejection and being ignored well, but these days I don't let it bother me and instead I find amusement in it. At present the most amusing thing for me is that after years of mainly lurking (since 2009) I have began posting a good few replies and stuff, but as in real life when I message people -i get nobody acknowledging the posts and messages as I write essays that bore on and I can't manage paragraphs much either. So anyway I shall test if people are reading my messages by writing that everyone on Mumsnet are evil, ignorant bitches who can't respond to my posts as they don't have the intelligence quota to do so! Not! Lol xxx

[parameter]

@Mlb123

Anyway , I know the feeling of rejection and being ignored well, but these days I don't let it bother me and instead I find amusement in it. At present the most amusing thing for me is that after years of mainly lurking (since 2009) I have began posting a good few replies and stuff, but as in real life when I message people -i get nobody acknowledging the posts and messages as I write essays that bore on and I can't manage paragraphs much either. So anyway I shall test if people are reading my messages by writing that everyone on Mumsnet are evil, ignorant bitches who can't respond to my posts as they don't have the intelligence quota to do so! Not! Lol xxx

what the fuck

[Krabapple]

i sometimes open a text and mean to reply, can’t reply there and then an completely forget. I have also found typed but accidentally unsent texts sat there days later. As a one off or occasional issue it’s probably just human error.

[Twiglets1]

@Obki

I really hate this think some women do where they check up on each other, because it often means nothing.

OP, when your friend didn’t reply what did you do? Did you call the police? Did you drive over to her house?

No, you dod nothing. So what was the point of asking her if she got home?

It’s called manners.
And it’s manners to reply if a friend asks if you got home ok, especially one who gave you a lift to the station.

[Devilledmeg]

@parameter

what the fuck

To be fair, I only read this post because I read your post saying 'what the fuck'. Scrolled past it as it looked long winded and there were no paragraphs.

As soon as I see a long comment with no paragraphs I know it's going to be some boring self-pitying nonsense

[user1477391263]

She probably meant to reply and it slipped her mind. I don't recommend being the sort of person who is quick to take offense about this kind of thing. It comes across as needy and paranoid.

[Ponoka7]

I game on my phone. Messages have come up and I haven't gone into them, but filled in a reply while it's showing at the top of the game screen. Sometimes they don't send. As said, sometimes you think that you've replied and you haven't. This can be the downside of messaging. In the old days we'd phone the house phone, or they'd phone our's, to check that out friends got home safely.

I also find it infantilising, but would answer a quick, yes thanks, goodnight, to someone who is a good enough friend to go out with and give me a lift.