Hi, can I post this anonymously please:
Basically, me and my partner are due to have another baby very soon, and we already have a 1 year old at home. I’m coping well but can occasionally feel overwhelmed especially as we also have dogs and a house to look after.
My MIL has taken it upon herself (without asking us if it’s even ok first) to turn her spare bedroom in a full-blown nursery so the 1 year old can sleep over and we get a ‘night off’ once new baby is here.
I really appreciate the thought, money and effort that’s gone into this, but ultimately I feel it’s a massive waste. She’s so excited about this so we’ve just reached a point where we now ignore it and let her carry on. I’m ok with 1 year old using the nursery to play/nap during days when we pop over to visit, but the thought of overnight makes me very uncomfortable.
Baby has also never slept out before, because I have anxiety and i feel there’s nowhere better and safer than to be at home with mum/dad.
MIL lives about 1 mile down the road from us so if a sleepover was ever on the cards, I’d prefer it to be at my house where the 1 year old is already comfortable, familiar with their surroundings, and with everything 1 year old would need without me having to pack/unpack a bag just to go down the street.
Anyways, back to the issue… my MIL has 2x very large dogs (dog breed known to be aggressive and very powerful). One is a rescue from an abusive background so unpredictable in it’s behaviour , the other they have owned from being a puppy. Both dogs are chaotic.
They are NOT well trained.
They pull, jump up, trash the house, rip up their beds, destroy their toys. The list goes on & on.
All MIL does is complain about how naughty they’re being/what they’ve done recently that’s been naughty. Even my very affectionate/friendly dogs are scared of them.
I have been over to the house with the 1 year old in the past and whilst MIL has been holding 1year old, one dog has jumped up, growled, barked and attempted to bite MIL.
Thankfully I was there to quickly snatch baby away so MIL could lock the dogs somewhere safe. She could see I was obviously shaken up and on edge the rest of the visit.
MIL says it’s because baby isn’t around the dogs enough they’re just not used to it; They’re only being protective. But I don’t see it as protection. It looked like they would attack if given the opportunity.
The dogs have also growled, barked and bitten FIL and BIL, who are around them a lot so I don’t think it’s being protective, just aggressive.
So my question is, AIBU to NOT let my 1 year old sleep out, at a house that has two very large aggressive dogs, where they will literally DESTROY anything they can get hold of???
I don’t feel like the 1 year old sleeping out would be much of a ‘night off’ for me as I would be worried sick all evening. I’ve been told the dogs will not be allowed upstairs, bedroom doors will be closed, and there’s baby gates throughout the house. Personally, I still don’t think this is enough protection because 1 year old won’t be kept upstairs all day and all night. MIL will want to be in the livingroom and kitchen with 1year old whilst they are playing/feeding etc. And i feel it’s then unfair to lock the dogs outside or into cages whilst 1year old is downstairs.
Please share your thoughts. Thank you