Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend booked a cheaper room ...aibu?

192 replies

phoneeeehommmeee · 30/10/2022 12:22

Going on holiday in a week
Me and boyfriend said to make it special we will stay in hotel night before and night we arrive home (due to late arrival )
Anyway we decided to stay in double tree and I said I would book going and he would book coming back (we both agreed )
So I book and pay £115
He then tells me last night for the hotel home he has booked premier in £49

Am I being a mug here ?
I said you said to stay at double tree ?
He says I know but this was cheaper

Now I have only booked and pay on arrival
Do I cancel and book a premier inn for night before too?
But I love the room we have it's a runway view and it will be lovely

Aibu ? What do I do ?

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 30/10/2022 17:44

That should be 2 star and 4 star hotels. (Have to be careful using the * sign...)

Obki · 30/10/2022 17:48

Ask him to pay you £30 and keep both bookings.

That was you have both paid £82 each

BigFatLiar · 30/10/2022 17:53

Perhaps he's sitting wondering why you're throwing away money on an expensive hotel when there's a decent low cost alternative.
Is this what he's to expect of the .relationship, spend spend spend.

Seriously, you booked a nice room you liked for the trip out and he booked a room he liked for the way back. Did you say you must spend the same amount as me or you must book somewhere I approve of?

MooFroo · 30/10/2022 17:54

Im a bargain hunter so would be happy to get a deal like premier inn.

in this case, add up the total and split it so you both pay the same amount.

FleecyMcFleeceFace · 30/10/2022 17:56

Add up both nights stay and each pays half the total (£82). He owes you some money. You accept cash or bank transfer.

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/10/2022 18:03

phoneeeehommmeee · 30/10/2022 12:33

I'm a bit of a geek and love airports /planes etc but it was his idea about double tree
I think he's looked at price and changed his mind tbh

"He then tells me last night for the hotel home he has booked premier in £49

Am I being a mug here ?
I said you said to stay at double tree ?
He says I know but this was cheaper"

Take the lesson here onboard @phoneeeehommmeee, which is that anything you agree with him is not actually agreed. He will unilaterally change plans on you to suit himself. He could have said to you 'You know, maybe we'd be better taking a cheaper room before and after, and using the money saved during the holiday itself instead'. But he didn't do that. He decided that he wasn't going to spend the money (whilst still expecting you to shell out?) and that was that, no consultation with you at all.

If your relationship developed, his attitude to joint stuff could be a real problem - mean with money and thinks decisions are his to make not jointly.

Personally I would cancel the Double Tree room and rebook with the Premier Inn and save myself £66. But, I have used Premier Inns a few times and am happy with their cleanliness and comfy beds, which is all I want from a hotel room one-night stay. I certainly wouldn't feel like giving him the hotel room he wanted when he wasn't willing to return the favour, the tight-arsed leech!

I'd also keep this behaviour of his in mind, this changing of plans because he didn't want to put his hand in his pocket. Meanness with money is something of a personality flaw in my opinion. Plus, in general I've found financially ungenerous people are ungenerous in other ways; with their time and with their affections. It's a bit of a red flag to me.

BigFatLiar · 30/10/2022 18:07

If you're arriving late going out will there be much to see from your runway view.

Orangello · 30/10/2022 18:08

Perhaps he's sitting wondering why you're throwing away money on an expensive hotel when there's a decent low cost alternative

That would be a bit odd considering they had specifically agreed to book that particular hotel.

Booklover3 · 30/10/2022 18:12

So split the cost of both rooms together?

BeavisMcTavish · 30/10/2022 18:14

Wow - totally not! Premier Inns that are new are less of a slum, but they’re certainly not a double tree standard. (Unless you have the new premium room, which is about the same price as the Hilton anyway)

Conkersareback · 30/10/2022 18:23

ScarierThanBoo · 30/10/2022 12:24

Tight bastard! Chuck him and go alone, or cancel and claim on your holiday insurance.

I'd love to see the claim form for that!

Mari9999 · 30/10/2022 18:34

Why not just forgo the hotel stay on the back end of he trip and just drive home st night? You can then split the cost of the front end hotel.

I don't think that I would pay any extra dollars for a view of a airport runway. Airport hotels are not usually luxury hotels but are convenient for business travelers.

The upfront pettiness on the part of both parties does not bode well for a relaxing and enjoyable getaway. I can't imagine traveling for pleasure with anyone with whom I need or expect a dollar for dollar match. This argument is over relatively few dollars, and they have not yet started the journey.

KateMcCallister · 30/10/2022 18:34

BigFatLiar · 30/10/2022 17:53

Perhaps he's sitting wondering why you're throwing away money on an expensive hotel when there's a decent low cost alternative.
Is this what he's to expect of the .relationship, spend spend spend.

Seriously, you booked a nice room you liked for the trip out and he booked a room he liked for the way back. Did you say you must spend the same amount as me or you must book somewhere I approve of?

If you read the op it was his idea to book the Hilton and they both agreed that they'd book and pay for a night each.

He then went and booked a premier inn without any sort of discussion.

OP tell him he owes you the difference.

ittakes2 · 30/10/2022 18:44

If you are arriving late why waste money on a hotel room you can’t enjoy for long?

susan12345678 · 30/10/2022 19:16

I've stayed at the Double Tree near London City a couple of times, it's quite new and it's a pleasant hotel with good views and an attractive lobby. There's also a decent restaurant etc. It's definitely nicer than a Premier Inn, but the latter is obviously better value, especially if you have an early flight. The nearby Marriott is also nice, and the closest option for LCY - I've stayed there, too, but found their in-room dining solution annoying - you have to collect your own food downstairs and bring it up to your room. Perhaps that was just a covid thing.

The bigger issue of course is the inequity of the arrangement as it stands. As long as he's prepared to split the difference in price, it seems ok. But if he's happy for you to pay more you have bigger problems.

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:24

I would not ruin the holiday by allowing this to get in my head and become a big deal. Just act really grateful that he wanted to save you both money and act like you believe that he intends to pay the same as you by contributing the money saved on the second room towards the first room . Even if you have to use a bit of manipulation by making a fuss about how lovely it is of him so that he won't want to ruin that image then it will be worth it.iys not worth winding yourself up over or trying to find out if he was trying to slyly save money on his bill while enjoying your more expensive room for less xxx

RishisProudMum · 30/10/2022 21:14

Mlb123 · 30/10/2022 19:24

I would not ruin the holiday by allowing this to get in my head and become a big deal. Just act really grateful that he wanted to save you both money and act like you believe that he intends to pay the same as you by contributing the money saved on the second room towards the first room . Even if you have to use a bit of manipulation by making a fuss about how lovely it is of him so that he won't want to ruin that image then it will be worth it.iys not worth winding yourself up over or trying to find out if he was trying to slyly save money on his bill while enjoying your more expensive room for less xxx

This doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy relationship dynamic.

BigFatLiar · 30/10/2022 21:52

The upfront pettiness on the part of both parties does not bode well for a relaxing and enjoyable getaway. I can't imagine traveling for pleasure with anyone with whom I need or expect a dollar for dollar match. This argument is over relatively few dollars, and they have not yet started the journey.

That seems to be the way relationships are expected to work on mumsnet. Or else he's a cheapskate for not footing the bill.

OldFan · 30/10/2022 22:50

Seriously, you booked a nice room you liked for the trip out and he booked a room he liked for the way back. Did you say you must spend the same amount as me or you must book somewhere I approve of?

@BigFatLiar Doubletree was the bloke's suggestion or what he agreed to.

OldFan · 30/10/2022 22:53

I don't think 115 vs 49 is a difference of 'just a few dollars.' It means OP has paid over twice as much as him on their before and after accom.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 30/10/2022 22:56

Premier Inn would’ve been my first booking. You need a bed for the night by the airport. If he wanted Double Tree, he’s duped you.

burnoutbabe · 30/10/2022 23:10

Surely there will be tons of Costa needing to be split when away?
Taxis and meals out and drinks.

Just agree to put all costs incurred into a spreadsheet and note who paid then split 50/50 when back. (Plus adjusted for what each paid) -easy if you both take out say 300 euro at start then just see what you have left at end (assuming not doing any personal shopping, but you could stick that on one credit card)

Demanding he give you £33 now seems daft when many things will need to be shared.

rookiemere · 31/10/2022 07:02

No spreadsheet needed, just download a handy splitting app - I like splitwise, but there are loads of them available.

Gwenhwyfar · 31/10/2022 09:44

rookiemere · 31/10/2022 07:02

No spreadsheet needed, just download a handy splitting app - I like splitwise, but there are loads of them available.

At my recent holiday I wanted to use this, but my friend didn't want her data available to this app so we did it on the back of an envelope during 10 minutes at the end of the holiday.

Quincythequince · 31/10/2022 09:51

sevenbyseven · 30/10/2022 12:31

Cancel yours too and book Premier Inn. They're perfectly nice and I don't see what's so great about a runway view personally!

Alternatively ask your boyfriend if you can go halves on each.

Yep this.

Premier inn’s are usually pretty comfy.

Although if you are meant to be having a night of luxury, that doesn’t cut it.

Surely the nicer hotel on the way out is better a pre-holiday treat so to speak, and the cheaper one on for once you’ve arrived home.

Just ask to go halves in the total cost so you’re paying the same