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Original poster

To start a thread about the joy of living alone?

104 replies

KnitFastDieWarm · 29/10/2022 15:20

Recently divorced, just moved into my own place for the first time ever at the grand old age of 35. The feeling of utter contentment and joy I feel when i close the door on the world and curl up on my sofa, in my tidy flat that’s exactly how I like it and
how I left it, is beyond anything I imagined.

I thought I’d be lonely but i have DC half the week and every other weekend, plenty of friends and hobbies, a job i love, and my life just feels…finally right.

Anyone else relate? It feels almost criminally indulgent to enjoy peace and solitude so much!

OP posts:
Andbabeiwannacatchonfire · 29/10/2022 18:40

Thank you for starting this thread @KnitFastDieWarm

I needed it this evening! This is what I'm hoping for when my own divorce is finalised. Currently still living with stbxh and finding it pretty unbearable. I dream of such peace and solitude.

dumbstruckdumptruck · 29/10/2022 19:05

This has become my theme song since I moved into my own place:

Gerwurtztraminer · 29/10/2022 19:45

I currently have a friend staying in my spare room temporarily for a couple of months and it's really reminded me how much I love living alone. Friend is lovely and respectful of it being my place but I really need my own space. I start feeling claustrophobic just knowing someone else is in the house, or if they are out, that they'll be coming back at some stage. I can't fully relax.

I hate having my morning routine interrupted by tripping over another person in the kitchen or bathroom. I don't want to share the cooking or juggle times for the shower or negotiate what to watch on TV. I don't want to have to listen to someone going on about their stressful job or annoying work colleagues or what their commute was like that day. I don't have to be sensitive to someone else's moods, put up with sulking or grumpiness or tiptoe around feelings or worry I've upset someone. I just find other's people's living habits irritating, no matter how minor and trivial they are.

I can be as tidy or as messy as I like. Go to bed when I want, get up when I want without explaining myself. Do my own thing without checking with someone else what their plans are. Don't have to share a bed with a snoring partner. Don't have to plan meals or buy food for anyone else, can eat cereal for dinner if I can't be arsed cooking, can treat myself to nice food and not be worried it'll get scoffed or feel I have to offer to share it. Can stack the dishwasher the 'right' way, have belongings in place as I like it and not put where someone else thinks they should go.

I have a full on job with lots of people contact, I get sick of hearing the sound of my own voice. When I get home especially on a Friday evening I love walking in the door and hearing silence and knowing I can flop on the sofa with a G&T or wine (of my choice no debates)and watch my own rubbish TV with no judging from anyone else. I don't have to make small talk or listen to someone else. I can just be 'me'.

Yes the flip side is it can sometimes be a bit lonely. I have to work to make social arrangements and holidays with friends. But if I do meet a man, it wil have to be on the basis of seperate homes. I will never share a house with someone full time ever again, other than cats, and a dog once I retire.

Imobsessedwithsuccesion · 29/10/2022 19:51

Since I stopped flat sharing in my early 20's I've always lived alone, other than a brief spell with a man.

I love it and won't be changing it. Never wanted the marriage or family and this way I get to do whatever I like. I socialise a lot but also love time on my own with my fizz and snacks and whatever I fancy on the tv.

HighlandCowbag · 29/10/2022 20:06

I love dh, he's amazing. But if we ever split or he dies I would never ever live with another man ever again. I love living alone, did it for 8 years in my 20s, and then just with baby dd for 2 years and it's bloody lush.

Raisinsandweetabix · 29/10/2022 20:25

What about your kids?

Puppypads · 29/10/2022 20:30

Funny you should start this thread today OP as I am recently divorced and bloody loving having some alone time! My kids are with exH until tomorrow and I have had such a lovely day by myself. Long walk with dog, caught up with laundry and filing/binning stuff, and now im watching Strictly which I was never allowed to watch when I was married. Bliss!
I can never imagine living with a man ever again. Don't mind if I have a partner who lives within a few miles but I never want to regularly share a bed ever again.

BCBird · 29/10/2022 20:33

I have lived alone for 22years. I loved it until the lockdown when I thought I was losing my mind. Am still not to the old me due to the fallout from Covid- still extremely cautious. Also the unexpected death of my partner has made me feel like I don't want to be here alone but i know at sime point i will appreciate my own space again. I from a big family so fir the first 19years I could not believe the space was just for me. Take care all.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/10/2022 20:39

Sounds like a blissful time.

I'm glad you're enjoying it.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 29/10/2022 20:41

@BCBird 💐 You've been through a lot.
Home life is going to feel strange.

SongforWhoever · 29/10/2022 21:05

I am a widow and when kids finally left home in their 30s I had a few years on my own, which I loved. Circumstances changed and I now have family back here.
I have realised being single suits me better than being in a couple and I love the peace and quiet of an empty house.

AliceAbsolum · 29/10/2022 21:14

I'm terrified of living alone, so this is a very interesting thread. I've lived with DH since I was 18, can't imagine being alone all the time. I feel like id have to be out most evenings.
Isn't it horrible when you are ill or upset?

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 29/10/2022 21:25

Isn't it horrible when you are ill or upset?

No, not really. I’ve been through bereavements, illnesses and so on and, to be honest, I wanted to be alone. I have friends and family if I want company or someone to check I’m still alive.

lljkk · 29/10/2022 21:33

DH & DS have been away a lot and... I am struggling to have the right amount of food in the house !! When you're used to many, it's astonishing how little one needs.

JoonT · 29/10/2022 22:05

Oh god it is bliss. Pure and utter bliss. I have everything just the way I want it - my photos and paintings on the wall, my books on the shelves. I come and go as I please, have friends over for wine and conversation, soak in a hot bath listening to Stephen Fry read Sherlock Holmes, eat what and when I want, etc etc.

I'm not anti-marriage. But I am 100% anti-settling.

Imobsessedwithsuccesion · 29/10/2022 22:40

AliceAbsolum · 29/10/2022 21:14

I'm terrified of living alone, so this is a very interesting thread. I've lived with DH since I was 18, can't imagine being alone all the time. I feel like id have to be out most evenings.
Isn't it horrible when you are ill or upset?

Not for me. I've never known it any other way so I'm used to getting on with it and have lots of lovely friends who would help but I expect me to look after myself, rather than anyone else if that makes sense?

Ivegotmyhappyfaceontodayles · 29/10/2022 22:44

I'm 5 years divorced and live with my 2 DDs who go to their dad's regularly. Agree that living on your own is complete bliss! It's thrilling to shut my front door after a long day and everyone else can basically fook off 😂I regularly pinch myself that after all the turmoil and shit; this life is mine. Miranda Hart has it right "I've never denied how much fun I have living alone!"

Energeticenoch · 29/10/2022 22:49

Well I do have my kids but I bloody love living without a partner. He stays over a couple of times a week but when he’s not here I just love every moment of being the only grown up in the house

WhitethroughtheFright · 29/10/2022 22:52

I’m married and we still live in separate houses. It’s brilliant frankly. Been together nearly 20 years.

Ivegotmyhappyfaceontodayles · 29/10/2022 23:01

Also, time to myself has made me reconnect with what I'm actually interested in. I fill my spare time now with the hobbies and passions I didn't explore before as I allowed other things to get in the way. It's wonderful! Feel like my 10 year old self again; free to discover the world on my own terms.

VinoDino · 29/10/2022 23:05

I live alone, I holiday alone, I love it. If I ever get a partner (it's been a while and I'm only 40!), I'd love them to live in the same street, stair, area, just not in my house. Of course there are times where I want company, just not on a permanent basis.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/10/2022 09:07

Better still, I don't get woken up by snoring

Forgot the snoring and the stomping off to the spare room after trying to move an inert lump onto its side so it would STOP and I could get some sleep.

Hooverphobe · 30/10/2022 09:12

I absolutely adore my alone time. Sadly my DC have twigged their father is a dick and no longer want to go… le sigh. 😭

it’s not like I’m counting down the days until they’re off boarding/uni or anything like that.

LegibleLucy · 30/10/2022 09:32

Thank you for this post, OP.

I'm also in the process of preparing the house I share with ex-DP for sale.

I'm so excited to decorate how I like, and come home to a house exactly the way I left it. Smile

AllotmentTime · 30/10/2022 09:34

Sigh… you all are making me so envious!!

Unfortunately I really love DH so I don’t think I could stick him under the patio. I do miss living alone though, did it in my 20s and I’d love to do it again except older and giving less fucks about things! I worked with a great bunch of people too, never felt lonely. Good times.