To think this isn’t really enough food for a 13 year old?

[ChocolateCrepe]

DS has been given 2 slices of a supermarket pizza, 4 chicken nuggets, a handful of fries (literally about 12) and a few cucumber chunks for his dinner

I think this is nowhere near enough food for a growing teen
The adult who gave him the food thinks it’s plenty and I’m being silly

DS is far too polite to ever comment if he didn’t think it was enough but I’ve made him a sandwich and he is now eating it happily

WIBU?

Tbh I think eating a whole 10 inch pizza is too much for anyone assuming they will be eating sides too. What I would say is that you need to encourage your 13 year old to speak up if he wants more. My 5 year old will eat more pizza than his 6 year old sister so 3 slices plus garlic bread but wouldn't eat chips whereas my 6 year old would probably eat 2 slices of pizza and a whole lot of chips. Basically what I mean is that I wouldn't give them the same amount of food so I would definitely give more to a 13 year old. Raise this with the other parent and ask them to stop being so miserly.

There's definitely something going on. Op isn't answering questions about why the son isn't able to ask for more or why having been told once the dad hasn't taken any notice.
Sounds like maybe he is controlling or aggressive and the son is scared of him.

Can't you just explain to their Dad that a 4 yr old needs a smaller meal, a 14 yr old a bigger one? Or are you separated? If still together this seems like a pretty easy issue to address. Would be way easier than taking all the silly comments on here.

I have boys of 13 and 15 and generally that would not be enough for them, although it would also depend on what else they'd had to eat that day. It seems very strange the dad thinks a 4 year old and 13 year old would eat the same amount. My sons eat the same meal size as their dad. Does he serve himself the same tiny portions as the 4 year old to be 'fair'?

That would also be enough for my 14 yo dd, whose appetite is less now than it was a year ago, possibly because she has pretty much completed puberty. She will have had a snack of an apple and a couple of biscuits perhaps 2 hours beforehand on a school day, probably no snack on a weekend. But we aren’t talking girls. And my dd eats the same, possibly even less than her petite 13 yo friend, who is about 8 inches shorter.

Boys otoh are in full puberty and growing exponentially at this age, which is why their school uniform fits for a year tops, whereas the girl’s uniform can fit for the entirety of secondary school. Boys need a lot of food. Parents are not over feeding them by giving them more than this measly portion someone worked out as being 1/4 of calories required for an average 13 yo boy.

This is a very good point. He should be feeding your ds the same quantity of food as himself, even as he continues through the teens.

Would it help if you talked about visual cues? Maybe printed portion sizes by age. It sounds perhaps like he is just robotically serving the same amount to be fair rather than adapting to each of your 4.

Totally not enough! Also not very healthy or filling food, but I realize you weren't asking about that.

I think at this age plain carbs are good. The chicken nuggets, more veg, and a big bowl of pasta with a bit of butter and cheese would have been better. But they haven't got to have exactly the right amount in every 24 hour period, so just put out a big breakfast and lunch today.

I feel that bananas really come into their own with boys of this age.

In my experience growing boys eat a lot more than that at mealtimes.

His dad sounds an idiot. Why on Earth would anyone with half a brain cell feed a 13 year old and a 4 year old the same?

When my boys turned teenagers I struggled with how much they ate but I had never been exposed to teenage boy appetite having only had female friends and relatives growing up. My H did though as he remembered being a teenage boy himself

4 nuggets and 12 fries "enough food" for a 13 year old boy.

Tell me you're not the mum of a teenage boy without saying you're not the mum of a teenage boy. 🙄

People are so ignorant, but still think they should pronounce on things they know absolutely nothing about. Plus threads like this always bring out the people who have serious issues around food.

225 calories in a McDonald's chicken nugget happy meal. As said a 13 year old boy needs at least 2,200 calories a day. So around 600 each meal and snacks.

If people are feeding their children what they claim then there are a lot of underfed children. I'd be keeping an eye on the eating of some of the teenage girls mentioned on this thread. Calories, as well as good nutrition and weight bearing exercise (which the calorie amounts aren't high enough for) are needed for good bone health.

@ChocolateCrepe this is a form of neglect caused by his father's control issues. Help your DS to become more assertive, but you've got to be his champion as well. If contact is via court, then underfeeding would be taken seriously if your son ever wants it to stop.

It's absolute earshot and screams disordered diet culture trope.
You shouldn't ever be hungry. That's the bodies way of saying it needs or wants food...suprisingly🙄
And you should deff never finish a meal and still be hungry.haha f crazy.
Oooh deny,fill yourself to 3/4,no sugar,hang your small outfits up so you see them everyday,no snacks,leave a bit, never HAVE seconds,get smaller plates and cutlery and now leave the meal hungry.my god I've seen it all.
Mnet reallydoes bring out the disorders.

And let's stay away from this prescribed often restricting calories obsession. A meal might have certain claroies more than another but there is so much more to a meal than it's number value. And some meals might be more or less but we should not be feeding our kids need on it nor teaching them to.
Many times hunger can mean a high calorie dense meal.but just as often it can mean a picky not so number high.
A meal is more than it's number.
And sometimes they will be more nutritionally dense than others.
But a meal should be just that. Based on hunger and so Many other things before number should ever stray into it.
Food shouldn't be that.for anyone and deff not our young people.

That's fine... a normal meal for an adult too. Pizzas are very high calorie. I'd probably chuck some veg on there though.

At 13 surely he can make his own lunch and choose what goes into it?
I posted last night that that would have been enough for my own 13yo, and it would most days. If it wasn't though he'd have no problem telling his dad it didn't feel like enough or could he have more please. I think that's the issue you have. Is your son scared of his dad? Why isn't he able to stick up for himself?

If it's like a Chicago Town pizza OP they are 1700 calories per pizza. While I'm sure most of us have eaten a whole one at some point it's not recommended even for an adult woman.

DS would think i was trying to starve him if i served him that. He is tall, lean, growing fast and active. He eats about double my portion usually and what you've described would be my portion.

It sounds like you both come from different ends of the extreme of portion sizes if you think a full pizza is a normal portion and he gives much smaller ones.

but at 13 I would be giving your son some control and making him sort his own packed lunches and helping with the meal making side of things.

@Ponoka7 4 frozen chicken nuggets 146cal (Asda), 2 slices of pizza 212cal (Chicago Town), 12 chips 124cal (McCan) = 482cal+ cucumber (negligible).

Sure 482cal isn't massive but it's not starving territory. If he had ketchup/mayo it would tip it to over 500.

Could maybe do with another slice of pizza at 13 yes or a pudding. But dinner doesn't need to be enormous everyday.

I think the main issue here is that the teenager is not full with the food he’s given so dad needs to cater for that. My 9 yo eats the same portion size as the 3 yo because she’s never been a big eater in one go, what she does though is eat lots of fruits, etc afterwards or in between her meals. In your case, I think you just need to re-emphasise the need for dad to give him enough food.

I’m surprised people are saying they couldn’t eat a 10 inch pizza to their self?? They’re really not very big, one fits comfortably on a dinner plate - I absolutely could eat this and a 13 year old should be eating similar portion sizes to an adult woman so I don’t think that’s disordered at all?

This makes no sense. Plenty of adults couldn't eat a whole pizza that covers a dinner plate, but because you can, your child should be able to as well?

It reads like OP and DH are not divorced so this isn’t happening on dad’s contact time, but on the nights OP is working so DH is making dinner. OP has talked about this with her DH before but he’s still providing a growing teen with the same amount of food as a 4 year old, both for dinner and packed lunches. Sounds like DS is regularly hungry due to not being provided with more food. For some reason, DS is unwilling/unable to say to his dad that he’d like more food or to go and get himself some more food. That is more concerning than the nutritional content of a pizza night dinner.

Yes I'm confused as to why a teen can't just ask for more food or make something. Is he scared of his dad?

Why is a whole pizza disordered? We are talking a supermarket sized pizza, not a large dominoes or such like. My 13 year old would manage a whole supermarket pizza to himself. He’d have cucumber and tomatoes too. Not the end of the world.