To think this isn’t really enough food for a 13 year old?

[ChocolateCrepe]

DS has been given 2 slices of a supermarket pizza, 4 chicken nuggets, a handful of fries (literally about 12) and a few cucumber chunks for his dinner

I think this is nowhere near enough food for a growing teen
The adult who gave him the food thinks it’s plenty and I’m being silly

DS is far too polite to ever comment if he didn’t think it was enough but I’ve made him a sandwich and he is now eating it happily

WIBU?

People who have a big fat home made egg mayo sandwich on white bread.

Completely understandable! Maybe you need to show your husband the daily reccomended calories for 4 year olds vs 13 year olds? That might make him realise a growing teen needs more food 😂

Show him this, maybe he's a visual learner; fairness doesn't mean everyone gets the same regardless of circumstances (alternatively, show him the NHS recommended portion sizes per age range).

That would be plenty for my 13yo. He definitely wouldn't manage a whole pizza!

Do you have disordered eating yourself op? Are you average/under/overweight?

🤣🤣🤣
OMG. Unclench.
It's Friday night and families up and down the country are enjoying pizzas. Not every single meal has to be nutritionally balanced, as long as the body gets everything it needs over a week then all is well.

Anyway...OP, the amount of food you're describing wouldn't be enough for most 13 year old boys. My 6 year old would eat that much. My brothers as teens would never have been full after that. At points during their teen years they were basically impossible to fill up. That would have a been a snack for them.

I don't think MN is the best place for advice on this tbh. It's notoriously weird when it comes to food, as evidenced by the comment I've quoted and all the people who are aghast at a teenage boy eating a whole Tesco pizza.

I've got ravenous twigs and looked up how much my hollow 11yo should be eating and it's already more than this small but fully grown adult should unless I'm very heavily active.

My appetite went crazy at 13 and some nights I'd end up having to secretly eat after dinner didn't touch the sides. I'd do things like beans on toast then wash up immediately after and bury the can out of sight deep in the bin. I wasn't permitted to be that hungry. My appetite settled down again in adulthood and fortunately it wasn't the start of disordered eating habits.

Teenagers can be ravenous and most are of adult height range, more active than adults, growing and filling out. Their appetite goes up for good reason. They need adult sized portions and a lot more than 4 year olds.

I don't understand why you don't just mention it each time. I'd just say that it didn't seem like enough food for ds and why didn't he put an additional pizza on or whatever is for dinner. Seems like you've been thinking about this for ages.

Are you a growing teenage boy though? They have massive appetites.

And you say he wouldn't give him more if he asked. That's really bizarre unless money is a big issue.

does he send them to bed at the same time too?

This is ridiculous. At the least if he is obsessed with fairness, why not provide a 13 year old portion to the 4 year old (at least there will be leftovers). like highest common denominator rather than lowest.

Exactly. Not just mention it, but DO something in the moment to change the situation!

To save all the aggro, can't their dad just serve this all up 'family style' and let them help themselves? He still needs to do more food, but if he just put out a couple of pizzas, a bowl of chips and a bowl of nuggets, everyone could help themselves and he wouldn't have to worry about this ridiculous concept that fairness = a 13 year old existing on a 4 year old's rations. Leftovers can easily be put in the fridge.
Honestly this would do my head in. Living with someone who has so little common sense that they can't even manage to feed a few kids a bit of pizza in a Friday night without making a hash of it.

I would say that it's not a crazily small amount, but I'd expect the average 13 year old to want a bit more.

More to the point, I would expect a 13 year old to be able to speak up for himself if he was still hungry, and make himself some more food if he hadn't had enough. Is this happening in your home? Could you make some foods always available for him to snack on as needed? A jar of peanut butter, some wholegrain bread and the fruit bowl would be fine.

It's not very healthy but probably enough calories.

That's not enough food, imo. Teenagers, particularly boys, have high calorie requirements. They're going through growth spurts and need fuel to grow. And it's not just about height growth - their brains are re-wiring too.

Does DS have easy access to additional food, eg to make peanut butter sandwiches, cereal with milk, etc? My DS would often have a full family dinner and then a large snack after an hour when he was in a growing phase. He's never been overweight and is tall at 6ft - I don't think he'd have grown so much if I'd restricted food.

You should be able to trust DC to know how much food they need and a parents job is to provide them with enough to satiate their appetite, not pre-determine what they eat by giving the same portions to a 4 and 14 year old and everyone in between.

If DS is clearing his plate consistently, that indicates to me that he's not being given food. I'd much rather my DC left a bit of food on their plate because then I know they have eaten to satisfy their hunger, not to an amount I have pre-determined by either serving too little food or by making them clear their plates (I do not have a clear plate policy, I think it's damaging as it teaches DC to ignore their own body signals and keep on eating).

My DC serve their own food from the middle of the table. They can go back for more. They are now very good at working out how much they want to eat and don't overload their plates. I put leftovers, if there are any, in the fridge and have for lunch the next day or use up somehow.

My 4 year old DD would easily eat that for dinner and she's very slim!

That made me smile, I was reading recently that a footballer ordered his pizza cut into quarters rather than eighths as he wasn't too hungry, apparently he's admitted it too. Piaget lives!

So the thread is actually about
-father repeatedly refuses to provide enough food for his child
-has been spoken to multiple times about it, and still fails to provide enough food.
-son unwilling or scared (?) to ask his father about it.

But instead it’s the competitive under eaters and food analysts. 🙄

Our youngest is 13. He is on full size adult meals now, has been for a while.

His friend who is an elde

Sounds like he needs more food. That wouldn't have been enough for my son when he was 13, but then everyone's different.

Why is it difficult to speak about with his Dad, how does it go when you have the discussion?

Sorry posted by accident.

His friend who is an eldest is served much smaller meals.

The amount of food you describe sounds fine to me - we do half to 2/3 pizza per person and some salad - but the general principle is I would expect your dad to be feeding him what he would consider a full adult portion.

Really? That’d be more than enough for me as a fully grown adult. It’s supposed to be one meal, not his daily food allowance

Teenagers are not the same as grown adults in their eating habits and what they need.

My DS 14 will cook and eat noodles while waiting for dinner. And then have a huge snack before bed. As many other PPs have said about their teens, he's tall, sporty and very clearly slim.

I’m not one of the lettuce lickers on here and usually think these threads go daft with people insisting that one small pizza is fine for a pizza party for 10 people, but I think this sounds ok. I’d have that for my tea - couple of slices of pizza, some chips, some chicken (veggie so quorn in my house) nuggets, vegetables. Proper Tuesday night tea.

And he had a sandwich later since he was still hungry so really it’s no problem. But the dinner offered sounds enough to me.