Well final post from me as I feel I'm being massively misunderstood. I probably haven't worded myself right.
No I'm not ill. I feel overwhelming stressed about work. I've worked my entire life so I know what's normal. It's not normal to feel this upset and anxious about work. Im well in myself generally and if suddenly found myself in a position when I could afford not to go back to work, I'd have no other worries.
I don't feel like I need any physical help from GP like meds or counselling as I know the cause.im not considering taking time off for an extended holiday. It's before I have total burnout and I've seen staff do this , end up on anti depressants, leave their job.
No one cares when these staff leave, well for about 5 minutes.
Yes line managers are supportive , but what actually can they do. They can go through the motions but can't improve the work environment and poor staffing without a magic wand.
It's all bullshit HR management. We all know what should be done. It doesn't happen.
I actually have a good attitude to work . I have worked since I was 18. I work with many genuinely work shy staff. Its frustrating and I know so many piss takers.
I'm not saying I deserve time off, but compared to many of my colleagues I think I've lasted pretty well-15 years before I've got to this point. I'm worried that one day I will lose it (as many of my colleagues have) and walk out in anger or tears.
Christmas can and will be scaled down. That's another story. Even if DH did support me, well its for a short period in our 20 year relationship. It's not like I'm planning to be SAHM forever.
Another job? Well when I say that I can't be arsed it's worded wrong, again.
I trained for a long time for this job, why I do not know looking back.
Changing my career in my 40s is daunting plus not really practical.
I would find it difficult to find another role with the same salary without a big re train!!
Plus the stress of all of that is more worrying than the job that I have. At least I know what I'm doing and I am confident in my current position.
Childcare and travelling would also be an issue.
The only solution is slightly reducing my hours and better money management and build up a savings pot.
Thank you to those who are understanding and get what I'm saying.
Those who think that I'm a piss taker, Great that you probably have a job where you don't feel like me. But unless you are the actual manager, don't kid yourself that you are that valued.
I work to pay the bills and provide for my family. I am not going to be a martyr and devote myself to a job, over my own health and my family.