To go off sick with stress when I can't really afford it?

[Wagtastic]

Just that.
Been I'm my job 15+ years. Dont really have much time off sick as a rule. Job is stressful and it is getting worse.

I've been off a month already as I've had covid plus 2 weeks annual leave. My anxiety has really shot through the roof. I really want to see the GP and get time off sick for stress. Probably till after Christmas.
I don't feel guilty about this one bit(as far as my job is concerned).

Only issue is financial. I get paid, but will lose lots of extra pay for overtime , which I rely on for Christmas. I have no savings.
DH does have savings and has said basically he will give me what I need/want.

Thing is I would need a LOT.

AIBU to want to have sick leave when I cant afford it?

I feel like going to with work will give me terrible stress.
But being skint will also give me stress!!!

I was off for 4 months earlier this year with work related stress and anxiety so I'm not posting as someone who hasn't taken time off for MH reasons. Before that I had an excellent sickness record with a total of 5 days off over the previous 8 yeae

Revise down your expectations for Christmas, no-one needs a brand new e.g. Xbox or whatever. You need to think about how you can change things in the new year - does that mean a new job, reducing your hours, changing your role. Diminishing your savings as a means to get through Christmas is madness but taking time off for stress isn't - anxiety is a massive issue and a lot of people seem to think you can just 'get over it.'

How long do you have before your employer will start the process to dismiss on the grounds of sickness?

Fully agree. Either you are too sick to work or you're not. And tbh even if you managed to go to work I would suggest not taking any overtime if you can help it if you're stressed. Or consider asking if the GP will agree to you working half days?

Just go to work. You're not ill.
If we all took time off for no good reason, there would be no one at work at all.

Posted too bloody soon! Was going to say, that it's difficult to tell from your posts if you are feeling mentally unwell or not, and if you are unable to cope with work.

It seems more like the prospect of going back to a busy period and doing lots of overtime is stressing you out rather than you are mentally unwell.

Why not go back but not do the overtime. You may find that your standard hours are what you can cope with at the moment. Overtime isn't essential, you are potentially choosing to add that stress to yourself.

What's not ok is choosing to not do your standard hours because you are too stressed to do overtime. That's what is very unfair to your employer and is taking advantage of paid sick leave.

For what it's worth, when I was off for those 4 months I was able to see it had been building and I should have gone off earlier. I didn't realise until i was off how much my mental health was suffering. In the 4 months off I had weekly therapy which we were fortunate to be able to afford, rested a lot as I was barely functioning, started medication, and spoke with HR to make changes at work. If i had gone back without doing those things and just having rested, I would have ended up ill again.

As it is I'm enjoying being back at work and not pushing myself to take on more than I need to. I'm happy and so is my new manager

If you are genuinely unwell with your mental health and unable to work then speak to your GP and stay off for a couple of weeks and then reassess as it goes, and think about what changes you need to make.

But if its just a case of the prospect of returning after a month off is stressing you out, then don't take the piss. Return to work but without doing overtime

I don't work for the NHS. 🤔 And who said I get paid for 6 months???

No thats not right. The overtime is an added financial bonus that I have sadly become to rely on for Christmas, holidays etc. But that's what most people do overtime for , right?
Extra treats. We'll most people I know do. Mumsnet probably would say extra money is for paying lump sums off mortgage.

My pay is adequate for bills and the like.
Overtime isn't stressing me out. Work in general is. Even the thought of one day there.
I can reduce my hours and pick and choose my overtime if I want it or not.

I have no clue. I've never been in this position before.

Hey OP, if you're ill, you're ill. But what's going to help you get better? Your work will know why you're off sick and presumably will want to talk to you about adjustments to ensure a safe return to work. You don't seem open to discussion on how to get better?

I'm afraid it is binary.

Either you are too mentally unwell with stress to be able to do your job, or in fact any job. In which case see a gp for treatment for your stress.

Or you are able to work. Perhaps with some adjustments

It must be hard and cause resentment when people around you are off sick a lot. Do you work for the Council by any chance?

It’s hard to know what you want us to suggest other than giving you ‘permission’ to go on sick leave with an absolutely clear conscience when you admit you aren’t exactly ill ?
Yes the treadmill of working life on low pay is awful.
But actually, you say it pays enough for you to pay your bills without doing overtime. That would be a fantastic situation for a lot of people.
Then you say it’s not overtime that makes you stressed anyway it’s the 9 to 5.
And it’s not that the job is beyond your capabilities either. Seems you could do it with your eyes closed and pick up everybody else’s slack too.
So where is the stress actually coming from ? Can you pin point that ? Is it a fast pace, is it poor relations with colleagues, is it the relentlessness?
Do you have symptoms that you could describe to your doctor for sick leave ? Honestly OP, if you genuinely have symptoms of stress you should go to the doctor and get help that way. . You don’t need MN to encourage you to do that.

Otherwise, do you think the company owe you enough to get off the treadmill and have a long paid holiday? Or do you think the government should reward you with a good long break until after Christmas for having had a good 15 year attendance record. Not unheard of, -but it’s not about to happen in the UK.

If you are ill with stress symptoms go to the doc for help. You must help yourself with that.
Otherwise, go to work on Monday, for basic hours only and start looking for different work because the way you describe it, you are simply very fed up of this job. There’s no magic solution for that - you have to help yourself to make a change.
A change is as good as a rest after all.

Well I think a new job would be the most sensible option - why can't you do that? No one said you had to retrain - your employer can't be the only one in that area surely?

What do you do OP?

Ask for an occupational health referral to discuss how to manage work related stress.

If you work somewhere that pays full pay sick pay then there will be one.

Then you can discuss what adjustments are necessary.

your Gp Won’t sign you off until after Christmas just because you request it. Have you sought treatment for your anxiety? Have you looked for another job? It sounds like you need the income from work? If there’s no exceptional circumstances and you’re not positively trying to resolve the issues your work may well start dismissal procedures because it’s unlikely the situation will improve

Yes that's all very true. Its very hard to consider a change of career at middle age with a family. I have a secure well paid job. And although it's bloody hard work and stressful , I don't think there's a magic cure by changing jobs. I don't know anyone in RL who actually likes work. I know MN is the exception.

What is wrong with my work? Well, yes very fast pace, horrendous staffing issues, poor management, bullying. Endless.
Of course my line manager/HR /OC would have to have a plan for me if I did go off with stress, but it would be laughable.

Make sure that I leave on time(won't happen), be more supportive(won't happen),continue to attempt to recruit more staff(impossible).
I know it sound negative, but it is. I'm stuck really.

Yes I do know this. But I'm pretty damn sure that they would give me a month at a time.

are You receiving any mental health treatment? Has your GP seen you? it may not be quite as easy to obtain as you think

No I don't need MH treatment. I need my employer to treat its employees better.and improve the working environment.

I have no concerns with getting a sick note whatsoever.

My issue is I've had enough of the shitty stressful environment and I need some time away. My question is whether it's more stressful to be in work, or more stressful to be home(no stress) and be struggling financially.

@Wagtastic

You need to balance it all out

Pros and cons of the job

If the cons outweigh the pros then you need to look for another job.

You say you don't really want to do that because you can't be bothered but then moan you hate your job and want to go off sick

Only you can make your work/life balance better.

Personally I've been in your position and no I didn't take months off sick and use savings to cover it as especially at the moment the savings could well be needed in an emergency and then you've got no fall back.

I don’t really understand how you think you can go off sick for 3 months with a mental health condition without any assessment or treatment for mental health? Sometimes people look around and see others off sick for seemingly nothing but don’t know the medical and social history of the other person.

id say it’s more stressful to be at home if you don’t actually need to and worrying about having no money and potentially losing your employment and being forced to find other work which may be worse.

You really need to speak to your employer about how your feeling. I'm not sure your doctor would just sign you off for 2 months. It's not that simple. I've been to the doctors when my MH has been bad and he never suggested a sick note.

OP it sounds horrendous at your work place. No idea how you can make it better.
If you really can’t face a change of job, I think it’s best to keep your foot in the door where you are now though, as this is the wrong time to be struggling financially with the cost of living increasing so dramatically for the future.
Could you go back part time (keep your head down and insist on only doing your paid hours) with a view to increasing your hours again if and when you feel a bit better.
Would that be a plan to take off that edge of despair over it all ?
A change …any sort of small change may help you see and feel things differently…and get a bit of that breather you need.