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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I too quick to move him school

78 replies

Rooree2609 · 28/10/2022 07:25

Our oldest ds is 6 and until recently had settled well into school life and loved school

We had two choices when it came to which school he should go to when he started and we picked the one which was joined to his nursery despite us actually feeling the other school was better ( better catchment area etc) but he can take a while to settle so we felt nursery move to school best for him

For the first year all went well for the most part and he loved it and grew in confidence

However after summer we had a incident in which he fell in the playground and came home with a large bump on his head his nose burst open knees and hands cut and with gravel ingrained to them
My DH took him straight back to his teacher and asked what happened to be told oh he fell
We know the policy in the area is any bump or injury to the face we should of been called so I was unhappy we didn't get a call and he was left in that state in school
I phoned and spoke to the head who instead of asking if DS was ok got very defensive and said no way would her staff not have followed guidelines and she would need to get the adult side of the story

Asked me if I was sure he was hurt in school or if he was exaggerating his injuries
I was shocked by her attitude and explained his injuries where quite visible for all to see
I did also suggest if this was her poor attitude I'd complain further which looking back was probably nail In the coffin

She did phone back a day later and apologised and blamed it on a new staff member but it was clear even when she apologized the attitude from herself to me wasn't pleasent

We considered moving him at this point but he was so happy we left

Weeks later he was asked to present an award at assembly which was great as he is shy so we where very happy he wanted to do this
But after this things changed he became withdrawn and started having nightmares
Didn't want to go to the school disco etc
He eventually told us 4 boys in the year above where calling him posh / posho , a little idiot and other names plus chasing him daily , pushing into him. Before we got the chance to speak to the head my ds decided to stick up for himself and punched one of the boys ( he does do martial arts so was quite vocal that it was a defense move ) at this point we went to speak to the head

She dismissed the bullying and said the boys simply liked our Ds and where following him/ chasing him to play with him and bullying wasn't a problem in her school
When I mentioned the name calling and she said calling him posho was playground banter and what did he expect

When we said this wasn't a good enough response she told us if we weren't happy with the school we should leave

The whole meeting was just shocking and I left in tears, DH was furious and wanted to move him asap
So we contacted the other school and went to see it etc and I agreed to moving him
And yes the other school is better , the catchment is better , the class sizes etc all better
But I now have a little boy who is heartbroken despite the bullying he loved his class and was popular in his year and he tells me daily he misses his friends and asks to go back to his old school

The kids at his new school seem keen to include him but he doesn't seem to want to engage much and tells us he doesn't play with anyone at break

It has only been a couple of weeks but I feel terrible
Did I react to quick by moving him ? I just didn't see how we can could keep him at his old school when the heads attitude was so poor but obviously he doesn't understand that

OP posts:
Newuser82 · 28/10/2022 17:38

My son changed schools a year or so ago. He literally was by himself for about 3 weeks and I was questioning our choices also. After the three weeks he has never looked back. Has a settled friendship group and is happy. I'm sure your son will be fine!

suzyscat · 28/10/2022 17:40

Sounds like you've done the right thing.

One of my kid's friends joined the school at that age and it took a year to fully settle and stop feeling like the new kid but they were confident that despite this, the move was right for her. Change can take time but you need to be confident that your child's needs are being addressed and that they feel safe in school.

WhatNoRaisins · 29/10/2022 06:20

As for the punching, you also really don't want a school where your child is allowed to get to the point where they punch someone and no adult steps in.

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