To not know what to do with teens on Christmas Eve

[Hellocatshome]

Normally I work Christmas Eve until late afternoon so we watch a movie have tea, play a few board games and go to bed. This time I'm not working so what on earth do I do with a 15 year old who would rather be anywhere else than with his boring parents and a 12 year old who has recently found his inner Kevin? I can only think of ice skating or panto and they are apparently bored of ice skating and all the pantos are sold out on Christmas Eve.

We have a ginger bread house competition. We decorate a small house each. My teenage son decorated his like a green grinch house, it looked awful but we had fun doing it.

"I’m sorry but your kids sound spoilt and you sound a bit desperate to be ‘cool’ and please them."

How horrible. Cool and desperate? To have a rare and unexpected day off on Christmas Eve and ask for ideas for what to do as a family? Bloody hell. If that's trying to be cool then it feels like the bar must be set very low.

We used to make ours come to town, pick up the fruit and veg from the market and lunch then a movie. There was usually a brass band playing at the market which had various stalls selling bratwurst etc.

Mine are now adults and want to do special together things! Gingerbread house building, already made the Christmas cake with dsd, other baking, though all washed down with gluwein

"it just seems sad that teens need constant entertainment and money spent on them rather than doing anything a bit more character building or wholesome."

Well again it's not mutually exclusive. Teens can visit grandparents, work hard at school and part time jobs, volunteer for charity and still, sometimes, enjoy a day out with their family that involves spending some money.

This thread has gone really weird. I assume people know that not every family in the UK lives like they do. Some teens want to be left alone and some enjoy time with their family.

Does anyone remember the poster from years ago who used to claim that every Christmas Eve she forced her teenagers to dress up and participate in a living nativity, complete with live animals and fairy lights, in front of their whole village. She was crackers so I don't know if any of it was true.

You used to get some proper oddballs on here!

Have you considered that, OP? Make them dress up as Joseph and Mary, put some fairy lights on the dog?

I love the way in which some posters say they “JUST do a few low-key bits like…”lazy lie in followed by baking gingerbread houses, then pub lunch, followed by a walk with friends, catching a film at the cinema, maybe a Starbucks, followed by seeing some friends, early PJ’s a takeaway curry, some board games, then snuggling up to watch a movie”….

That’s a fortnight’s worth of activity for me & my kids!!!! Even reading about the above makes me feel exhausted.

Lol

You don’t have to bake the house yourself, you can buy a ready made and just decorate..easy! But yeah, otherwise I agree..

Don’t be a tit.

A lazy MN lie in until 5.30am, followed by three hours of leisurely baking.

I'm absolutely amazed that all teens aren't being forced labour spending Christmas eve helping to decorate the house, baking mince pies, doing early prep for Christmas dinner etc.

My tradition as a teen was to do all that with my mum/dad (whoever wasn't working) during the day, then in the evening when I was old enough I often went to the pub/for pizza with friends.

Honestly, get them to be useful this year with the fun stuff - including baking, wrapping presents for Auntie Pat etc. Work with them, they're big now. They will moan but I'm sure you're used to that.

Christmas films, snacks etc are much more fun when they start on Christmas day.

Don’t forget the farmers market by 7am to get the sprouts, which all teens love doing 😂

"Don’t forget the farmers market by 7am to get the sprouts, which all teens love doing."

I'm sure some do but the other thing is that teens don't necessarily have an absolute entitlement to only do what they love. Some might want to sleep until 2pm, game all afternoon and then disappear with their friends. That's ok if the rest of the family are ok with it too. But I don't see what's wrong with expecting a bit of give and take, expecting them to do something they'd rather not do out of duty or because it's important to someone else. If you want them to come and help with the sprout shopping, why not?

This was my point although sorry if I made it harshly. It’s Christmas, even the surliest of teens should expect to do family-centred Christmas activities rather than a ‘day at the mall’ type stuff. If your ‘6’3 gym bunny’ (although I don’t know what that’s got to do with anything unless you’re suggesting he would use physical force against you?!) son wont join in then I would just leave him to do what he wanted.

I will add my brother is even bigger than that and would (maybe not hugely enthusiastically!) join in with carol singing and present wrapping etc

We've forced a walk on our kids ever since they little, and they're now in their 20s. Sometimes in their teens they've had other options, but mostly they're with us, but the attraction is the home baking which goes with us and their friends with their families. It's now become a tradition and they've got over any perceived naffness of going for a walk with their parents. Grandparents, when visiting, usually treat everyone to a take-away and then it's an evening of playing cards. Everyone should learn how to play Shit Head (or Shed as we more politely call it).

What it had to do with it was that you said I was forcing my teens to do things. And I was explaining how even though I would never want to force them to do something it would literally be impossible to force them even if I wanted to. I mean I suppose there are other ways of forcing people to do something such as blackmail etc but I am also not going to do that to my children.

Where did I say that?!

And I never suggested you ‘blackmail’ your kids

This thread is nuts.

OP comes on to say that she doesn't usually get Christmas Eve off and would like some ideas to make it special.

Most replies : some lovely suggestions.

Other replies : stop trying to be so cool it's pathetic, stop micro managing them, why are you forcing them to do things they don't want to do, stop spending money and make them do something more wholesome, would your child use physical force against you.

OP, hope you've had some suggestions that appeal.

All families are different. Some have traditions set in stone, some do different things each year. The thing I've learned with having kids is that they change all the time, and my teens have changed massively in the past year. I certainly don't feel I can assume they'll want to do the things they did a couple of years ago. For example, I've had to check with my 17 year old if he wants to come on a family summer holiday next year - I can't just take it for granted.

Whilst it's great to have family activities that you all enjoy doing, you have to be aware that people change, kids change, they don't necessarily want to do the same stuff they did 5 years ago.

I think you have to read the room. If you have teens who'll happily watch Christmas films and play board games on Christmas Eve, then that's great. But if they'd rather just chill out on the Xbox or with their mates, there's no point forcing it. It's different on Christmas Day, if family visit etc - you can expect kids to take part even if they'd rather not. But you can't dictate the whole festive season.

Ultimately that's parenting isn't it - letting go gradually. I was sad when mine didn't want to go to our usual haunts - steam railways, farm parks etc - but that's my problem, not theirs. Times change.

@Cuppasoupmonster sorry it might not have been you that suggested I was attempting to "force" my kids to do something I have got lost off with all the replies. But me mentioning my sons size was in reposnse to being accused of forcing him to do something. It is literally impossible to force him to do anything.

Thank God its not just me thinking this whole thread has gone nuts!

I was expecting suggestions like take them snow tubing or bowling or something not let them go to the pub and leave them alone to fester in their own teenageness like they do every other day of the year. I think I might just volunteer to go to work it will be easier.

That's the point. £20 would be easy.

"Thank God its not just me thinking this whole thread has gone nuts!

I was expecting suggestions like take them snow tubing or bowling or something not let them go to the pub and leave them alone to fester in their own teenageness like they do every other day of the year. I think I might just volunteer to go to work it will be easier."

Haha! But don't be deterred. There are lots of good suggestions. We had a good day at our nearest indoor ski slope - that's a nice Christmassy thing to do. We had a snowboard lesson and then the kids did tobogganing too. My teens always enjoy Warner Bros Studios and that's decorated for Christmas. Have a family chat and come up with a plan!