To not know what to do with teens on Christmas Eve

[Hellocatshome]

Normally I work Christmas Eve until late afternoon so we watch a movie have tea, play a few board games and go to bed. This time I'm not working so what on earth do I do with a 15 year old who would rather be anywhere else than with his boring parents and a 12 year old who has recently found his inner Kevin? I can only think of ice skating or panto and they are apparently bored of ice skating and all the pantos are sold out on Christmas Eve.

Christmas eve is my Christmas day and even we don't do much!
We decorate (i do it earlier now), chill and watch Christmas movies, then have traditional dinner, lressies, drinks and chill. Sometimes midnight mass.
It's nice and slow family day, but that's because it is bank holidays where I am from😁

Some people visit cemeteries in the afternoon, some chill, some go for walks with friends etc.

I have a 12yo. Every Xmas Eve we go for a huge family breakfast in a restaurant (around 20 of us), pick up the Xmas turkey from the butchers, go to church for Christingle in the afternoon then to my sisters for Chinese in the evening.

Mine would be with their friends / girlfriends.

"Don't equate an advent calender to a church service ffs. Maybe it's just me but at 15 I'd rather have shat in my hands and clapped than spent my Christmas eve listening to carols with my parents."

Why are you so cross? It's a thread about doing something nice on Xmas eve yet here you are with ffs and your charming analogy.

I'm sure you have sufficient imagination to know that people are all different, families are different, teens are different.

I mentioned the advent calendar because that happened to be what the kids were talking about yesterday but believe me they come in after Christmas just buzzing about all sorts of daft family traditions. They roll their eyes and act indifferent but it's obvious they love it, they're still kids, and it's lovely.

AAaah those were the days - a vodka and orange ........ or three!

Let them do their own thing 🤷‍♀️
I'd cringe if my parents had micro managed my free time at that age!

I think a pp is right though, there's no need to have a whole day of forced 'special' events. The movie/board game thing sounds great. Just ask them what they want to do in the day time. By this age you can't impose a pre-determined idea of what an appropriate activity is.

Mine are 18 and 15 now. I usually spend Christmas Even in a panic of food shopping, prep and baking but then in the evening we put a film on (not necessarily even Xmasy) and eat the baking.

Why do you have to do anything with them? At that age I probably was out with friends then hung about the kitchen while my mother made sausage rolls, mince pies and a chocolate log (cake was iced the day before). We'd see relations in the evening then go to bed.

Are you a single parent? I do think that makes it tough if you're sitting there on your own on Christmas Eve.

Can you say that you will be ordering pizza for 8 pm and they can do what they want up to that point but then you want to watch a movie with them?

You said that panto is sold out, have you considered going to a regular theatre performance or musical? On Christmas Eve there is often seats available, a festive atmosphere, and a magical performance.

You have a rare opportunity to spend a day with your DC whom you love.
Tell them this. Acknowledge that they want to spend time with friends/gaming but ask for a suggestion if something a bit more special to add on to your unusual tradition.

With teens our successes were Soup Hike, Escape Room, home made Taskmaster, an online Christmas craft workshop (depends on your DC).
It's ok to tell them what you want and why you want it. Even if the initial response is ungracious they will come up with something.

There’s no way on earth mine would spend a whole day with me. Not without moaning and sighing and making the day miserable for all anyway. I have 14 and 16 year old sons.

What works for me is telling them well in advance what your expectations are, and coming up with a small thing that you’d like them to join in with, maybe that takes an hour or two at most out of their day. Add in a bit of flexibility so that they think they have some say in what’s going on.

My youngest will do baking together but I let him choose what we make. My oldest will come for a dog walk. They would both rather gouge their eyes out with sticks than come to the theatre or a pantomime or church with me. We’ve tried it and it’s been a wasted evening for everyone.

I also make clear which meals will be family meals that they are expected to attend.

I dont think wanting to spend time with my children on Christmas Eve is micro managing their time. For example this half term I hvent even seen DS1 apart from an hour or so before bed a few days. I go to work at 8am before they get up and they do whatever the hell they like until I get in at around 4, then they continue to do whatever the hell they like until I attempt to get them to eat tea with me but most of the time I eat it alone and they microwave it when they get in or have finished paying whatever they are playing on the xbox.

They used to see their friends during the day then we would go out for an early dinner about 6.

It's not micro-management to want to try to spend some time with your teens op. Of course you're not going to force them to do anything, but there's nothing wrong with trying to find things that you can do together.

When I was a teen we ran errands, pottered, chopped veg and watched movies together! There was always the option to stay in your room but we never did as downstairs was always full of noise, music, lively smells.

Make their Xmas eve what they want (sounds like time with girlfriend and a new Xbox game to get stuck into) but with a takeaway for all of you for some family time? You could include a silly game to play after (I recommend yogi). If you know/get on with girlfriend invite her to the dinner?

It’s absolutely NOT micro managing to expect to see your kids on Xmas eve!

Give them £5 each and send them shopping.

They have to get something for the other sibling. Best present giver gets to choose the film, food and games.

I was a hard partying teen ..loced pubs and friends and raving..and I still loved christmas family stuff...carol services twinkle lights etc!

Some.right grinches on here

Same here!

Maybe they want to go out with their mates? You can't force them to spend time with you because that's what you want.

I remember at fifteen simply wanting to find the most gorgeous boy to kiss under the mistletoe!

That was it, nothing else would suffice!

We play poker. Good life skill.

of course when they were younger it was UNO. Sometimes it still is.

You could take the on a Christmas light walk if there's one near you? They have them through the grounds of most national trust buildings. We went on one last year before Christmas and it was amazing.