Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think countryside people are condescending and moany all the time?

193 replies

Keyansier · 27/10/2022 13:48

Does anyone else think this too? Partly stemming from the story about the people who are trying to ban weddings from being held in their village and putting up signs like "Bride and Grooms not welcome here" in order to dampen their big day and ruin their wedding photos.

People who live in cities know how to share and live alongside people. Yes, tourists can be annoying but we don't scream at them (well I don't, anyway) or tell them they are not welcome and to go away. Yet people in the country think this is perfectly acceptable and not rude behaviour. And they constantly make awful comments about cities and city living and how they would rather die than live somewhere so busy but then when there is a lot of rainfall and their places are flooded they shriek and moan that people aren't helping them fast enough for their liking.

They literally think just because they live in the countryside that they own the countryside and get to say who can go there and what can happen there. And if you're "unfamiliar" they were literally stare at you. AIBU to think this is entitled behaviour and very annoying?

OP posts:
krustykittens · 27/10/2022 15:07

Or just pee on everything, like we do.

ThistleSifter · 27/10/2022 15:08

Yabu. “Get off my land” exists for a reason.

DeadbeatYoda · 27/10/2022 15:11

This is a ridiculous post full of ridiculous generalisations. I know plenty of awful people from both town and countryside and plenty of kind, decent people from town and countryside.

user29 · 27/10/2022 15:12

They literally think just because they live in the countryside that they own the countryside

But they do!

TheMoops · 27/10/2022 15:14

The OP seems to be one those posters who will only respond to people who agree with them.

I live in the countryside and have no issue with people visiting and putting money into our local economy providing they are respectful.

Leaving your empty coffee cups on my wall because you can't be arsed to find a bin is NOT being respectful.

CovertImage · 27/10/2022 15:16

There are twats everywhere

I think the OP might be one of them

FurAndFeathers · 27/10/2022 15:20

SavoirFlair · 27/10/2022 13:56

I think there’s an awful lot of sense in your post @Keyansier but you’ll be shouted down by the very people who are shocked they recognise themselves a bit in your post

Or by folk capable of appreciating critical thought and nuance

I guess if you prefer uninformed blanket stereotypes based on one single incident you won’t get that 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Keyansier · 27/10/2022 15:20

cantba · 27/10/2022 14:55

There are some really rude people on here OP.

The actual landowners aren't too bad in my experience and totally fair enough to chuck people out of private land and point out stupidity.

But oh my god the "locals" can be painfully rude. I'm married to a Devonian and his family literally act like they own the county (rather than a pretty basic 3 bed bungalow). Lots of derogatory comments about "tourists" and every trip to the beach involves walking as far away from everyone else as possible. Also heaps of pretend knowledge about the "countryside code" lots of which is horseshit (coming from an actual farming family with an actual farm).

There is a very expensive food shop in a sailing town beginning with S. Its basically a corner shop, not at all fancy but priced akin to an independent deli. Its always heaving (or was until they opened the co op). The women in there literally could not be more rude to the customers. Passive aggressive and very terse. Every day is a bad day. I cheered when the co op opened that i never had to give those miserable locals another penny.

Its an attitude I have seen over and over together with an expectation that you should be able to work a minimum wage job and live in a beautiful popular area with other people that were born there. Never mind you can't do that in the city either.

A lot is triggered by jealousy and a perception that visitors are all wealthy.

Thank you @cantba this is a really interesting response. I should have made it clear like you did that I don't mean farmlands which is actually considered private property but just 'normal' locals who live in the area and moan about everything. Your last two paragraphs are really interesting and not something I'd considered before.

OP posts:
HappyHamsters · 27/10/2022 15:20

CovertImage · 27/10/2022 15:16

There are twats everywhere

I think the OP might be one of them

Yep and a goady one too

NoNameNowAgain · 27/10/2022 15:21

krustykittens · 27/10/2022 15:05

I disagree. There are country people and country dwellers. Country people, wether they lived in the country all their lives or made the move from a city, understand the concept of things like wildlife because they are realistic about what the countryside is. Country dwellers often move out of cities with a very sanitised view of the countryside, sometimes with very definite idea of how they want their country life to be like and want to force it on the actual countryside. It never works. Rabbits are going to keep being rabbits. Perhaps she will learn one day to put netting over her veg, even if it doesn't look as nice on instagram.

Show quote history

In other words there are people you like and dislike everywhere. The distinction between town dwellers and country dwellers is real and visible. The distinction between country people and everyone else is more tenuous.
I think it’s the dismissal of the people you don’t agree with as an alien breed that disturbs me slightly, although I suppose you are not the only one.

Original poster
Keyansier · 27/10/2022 15:25

HappyHamsters · 27/10/2022 15:20

Yep and a goady one too

Show quote history

How am I being goady? I was only asking if other people thought the same, not insisting everyone has to agree with me (and the majority so far clearly don't).

OP posts:
TimBoothseyes · 27/10/2022 15:26

They literally think just because they live in the countryside that they own the countryside and get to say who can go there and what can happen there. And if you're "unfamiliar" they were literally stare at you. AIBU to think this is entitled behaviour and very annoying?

I literally got yelled at in London for being on the wrong side of an escalator because guess what....coming from the "countryside" I had no clue about "escalator etiquette", which I found very entitled and annoying....see, cuts both ways OP.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 27/10/2022 15:26

I can see that people living in a quiet rural location would find it annoying if every weekend their village is overtaken by loud music from marquees, pissed wedding guests shouting etc etc.

I can too but how about they all complain to whichever villager provides the venue?

SmellyNelliey · 27/10/2022 15:28

I live in a village in the country side, everybody is judged lots of people complain about parking,grass not being cut,yet you clean your windows and they talk like your crazy! It's a nightmare here my cat was poisoned I've lived in the city too and looking at moving back!

KettrickenSmiled · 27/10/2022 15:29

People who live in cities know how to share and live alongside people.
😂😂😂

Is that a fact?!

They literally think just because they live in the countryside that they own the countryside and get to say who can go there and what can happen there. And if you're "unfamiliar" they were literally stare at you.
OP I live up a rural mountain where I can not see anyone for days if I choose.
When I DO see people - or they see me - I can guarantee that your Royston Vasey fantasy simply does not happen.

You seem to be basing your febrile conclusions on ONE village & their oddity about weddings, & deciding that everybody who lives rurally is exactly the same as the example you are quoting.

Just like your claim that ALL people in cities know how to get along with each other (sure! inter-personal city crime simply never happens, huh?), you are making absurd generalisations which have absolutely nothing to do with reality.

krustykittens · 27/10/2022 15:29

NoNameNowAgain · 27/10/2022 15:21

In other words there are people you like and dislike everywhere. The distinction between town dwellers and country dwellers is real and visible. The distinction between country people and everyone else is more tenuous.
I think it’s the dismissal of the people you don’t agree with as an alien breed that disturbs me slightly, although I suppose you are not the only one.

Show quote history

I didn't dismiss her as an alien breed so don't put words in my mouth. Plenty of country people have different methods over how they treat their land and their animals and can agree to disagree, unless there is real harm being done. I pointed out that there is a trend for some city dwellers to move to the countryside, often in retirement, and expect it to conform to some chocolate box notion. Day to day, they are the ones who bring the most conflict, not visitors. This woman has literally created conflict out of thin air by designating me as responsible for the entire local wild rabbit population and demand I take action by gassing them in their burrows, which is something I really don't want to do. All becuase she doesn't want to be inconvienced by wild animals living in the countryside. The fact that you see me as the unreasonable one says a lot more about you.

MsTSwift · 27/10/2022 15:30

Absolutely! There’s a pretty hamlet on n the edge of our city and the locals are total arses - put up snotty little signs in their front gardens etc. Yet they happy to come into the city for their shopping and restaurants 🙄

mateysmum · 27/10/2022 15:31

The farm next door to me recently started doing weddings. The disruption is horrendous. Loud music until the early hours followed by car movements, drunk people shouting and laughing, staring into my garden - but according to you OP, I should just stop moaning and learn to share. Sod that for a game of soldiers. I don't expect the countryside to be a place of silence - far from it, but these people have no awareness or regard for others.
And yes when the floods were here 10 years ago and our neighbouring village was cut off for 12 weeks because the London eco gang had stopped maintaining the drainage system then yeah I should have been so grateful for the ignorance of people like you.
And actually I do own a small bit of this countryside and feel perfectly entitled to use it as I see fit.
You OP is one of the most goady, rude, ignorant and entitled post I have seen for a long time.

Shannith · 27/10/2022 15:32

NC5001 · 27/10/2022 13:51

What, all of us? 🙄

People who live in cities know how to share and live alongside people.

That'll be why we never read about neighbours falling out over noise, manky behaviour, street drunkenness...

This Smile

I assuming you are being deliberately goody but I'll bite.

This "countryside" you speak of is mostly other peoples land. And more often than not, their actual livelihood.

So if I tramped into your office for a mosey round, you'd probably stare at me and ask me why I was there.

I lived in London for a long time and now I've lived in the countryside for a long time and I can confirm that the converse is in fact the case.

People in cities are way bigger twats than people in the countryside.

The countryside has rules, just like cities do. You can't have a picnic in the middle of a dual carriageway. Nor can you do so in a privately owned field full of pretty little sheepies.

Less police in the countryside to enforce the rules, so we may have to remind people occasionally. I.e. shut the gates, don't feed my horse or you might kill it. No you can't walk your dog there even if it's friendly because it will terrify the sheep and make them abort their lambs.

I hate people who say HTH but...

Florenz · 27/10/2022 15:34

Rural people should stay in the countryside and not go into cities, and metropolitan people should stay in their cities and not venture out into the countryside.

KettrickenSmiled · 27/10/2022 15:35

Keyansier · 27/10/2022 14:23

Maybe my dear,

Perhaps, sweetheart,

Demonstrating the condescending part.

I think people that live in the country often think people that don't are jealous of them which is why the superior, condescending attitude comes out.

And there is a very big difference between "tutting" at someone because they were slow and erecting signs telling non-locals to go home, or shouting at people who don't live in the country because they dared to visit. And then when people don't visit, they moan about that as well!

Demonstrating the condescending part.

What's up @Keyansier - don't urban people do irony?

You all being a homogenous group & all?

krustykittens · 27/10/2022 15:39

Florenz · 27/10/2022 15:34

Rural people should stay in the countryside and not go into cities, and metropolitan people should stay in their cities and not venture out into the countryside.

I don't think this goes far enough. We need to travel about only in groups of three and only communicate with others outside that group with post it notes so there is a paper trail for everything.

Bigsighall · 27/10/2022 15:41

Tbf I did have words with a family from London having a picnic and playing games in my field with my horses. Private field, no footpath (with private signs). Luckily my horses were really good but they couldn’t see how they were putting their kids / my horses in danger. Screaming kids and horses do not mix! I wonder how they’d feel if my family turned up in their private space and had a picnic!

LolaSmiles · 27/10/2022 15:41

Having lived in bigger towns and in the country, my experience is that a lot of country people's frustrations tend to stem from people treating the area where they live as a free for all attraction where they can do as they please.

Anyone who has lived in the countryside is fairly well versed in the countryside code and find it annoying when town/city visitors leave gates open, walk across fields instead of following the marked right of way, have their dogs off lead around livestock, think it's ok to feed the horses, park in gateways or blocking access to drives, leave their campfire mess, have BBQs in areas of dry moorland, and then complain if they're challenged.

KimberleyClark · 27/10/2022 15:41

Cuppasoupmonster · 27/10/2022 14:29

The people who went from city to country are the worst for it in my experience! Particularly retirees. They feel they’re buying a ‘new life’ when they move, and that that includes the views and surrounding countryside, and become ludicrously hostile to other informers. They don’t seem to realise it doesn’t all suddenly belong to them.

Show quote history

And they tend to moan the loudest about the cost of petrol.