Moving overseas in 10 days and friend keeps bugging me

[Getonwithit1]

Hi all
As the title says, DH and I plus the kids are moving overseas in a little over a week. I've already had a farewell do with my friends however one friend keeps messaging asking to catch up.

I simply don't have the time, I have things to pack, insurance to follow up and a million other things to do, as well as catch up with the family as much as we can before we go.

Honestly this friend messaging has really annoyed me, I've tried telling her I won't have time I'm flat out but she not taking no as an answer. I just don't want to see her as my plate is already full.

Any advice?

I can't understand if you're so busy why are you on here wasting your valuable time.
You don't class her as a friend, more of someone to have a quick chat and a coffee.
If I was you I'd be off my phone, stop asking attention seeking questions and get on with your packing.
Good luck with your move, hope you make some good friends 😊

So you’ve got time to message on here asking for advice re how to ignore her but not to see her.

Just so we’re clear.

You clearly don’t like her, not sure why you’re keeping her hanging on.

Did you actually say to someone 'you're bottom of the list'?

I agree. That was brutal. Why would you say that? Nobody wants to hear they are totally unimportant, even if it’s the truth.

15 messages a day is madness though. . I’d invite her to come and chat over helping you pack if she’s a good friend who is having problems accepting your departure but it doesn’t sound like it’s a close friendship from your perspective. I’d just (nicely) tell her again you are up to your eyeballs in preparations and then don’t reply to the 15 messages and say you’ll catch up when you are settled after the big move.

I think you’re a bit mean and I feel sorry for her- she’s obviously more invested in the friendship and you don’t sound as though you really like her. If you suspect she’s on the spectrum (but really anyway) I think you need to be more clear- can you say something like “I’ve looked at my calendar and I’m definitely not going to have time for a meet up- sorry. I’m also not going to have a minute to reply to messages and it’s hard keeping on top of all the admin as it is so it would be better if you stop messaging for the next couple of weeks please.”

She's an acquaintance, rather than a friend. If she's sending fifteen ignored messages per day and not getting the hint, you might as well mute her. Since she's working away she couldn't actually come and help pack even if you wanted that. So there's not much point really.

I can't imagine telling someone I called a friend that they were at the bottom of the list.

This!! As an expat, trust me you will regret it. Invite her over while packing to keep you company.

Very impressed with all the MNers who in the last throes packing, of moving house, moving country, while still managing children and family can casually find time for ‘just’ a coffee without adding massive time pressure and stress.

OP: “re meeting up: if I could, I would! But I can’t. Am now also only looking at my phone once a day because I have so much to get through. X”

Perhaps she has a going away present for you? Perhaps you mean more to her than you realise.

Just Ghost her. Sounds like you don't care for her.
You can tell her directly she's not on the list to be seen this time, and you don't plan to spare an hour for her now or in the future.
It's not like you will ever need friends again is it?

Just a lil bit mean.

Funny how things can come full circle. When you want a free place to stay on your next trip home, don't expect her to collect you at the airport!

I have a 'friend' a bit like this and I would never ask her to pick me up from the airport or to stay with her.

Whenever I have moved country, there was no more packing to do, three weeks out. Everything except the flight luggage was long gone and, other than the odd bit of admin, it was twiddling of thumbs time.

People make drama for drama.

I would (and did!). Put a status on Facebook.Say we will be in x pub Saturday so we can get to see all our friends before we leave

It's the only doable way of she can't make it say we will see you when we come back

Can you ask her if she would like to come round for an hour......help you pack, look after the kids, sort out any paperwork etc?

You don't seem to like her very much at all so why all the angst? Just mute her messages. Its no more "mean" than you've already been by telling her she was "bottom of the list" of people you want to see before you leave.

Realistically, what are the chances you’ll ever see this woman again? You don’t want to spend an hour with her now, when you actually live in the same country - you’re hardly likely to make a point of catching up with her when you come back for a visit. You say muting her would be mean, but you’re never going to give her the reply she wants, so keep up the fiction?

If you get desperate, tell her your moving date has been brought forward. Send her your (fictitious) new number and tell her your UK number will no longer be in use.

That should say WHY keep up the fiction.

Eh? Why would the OP travel from abroad to stay with a woman she can’t be arsed to have a coffee with now?

I also don't understand why you needed to post on here. You're fine with telling her she's bottom of the list to you so just ghost her. It's no less mean.

I don't know why you started this thread... you obviously don't care about her that much so just ignore it, it's not hard. I'd say it's easier than spending your (seemingly precious) time on here.

Also, telling anyone they are the bottom of the list is horrible. I imagine she's better off without you as a friend so block her.

Glad someone else said it!

Either block her or just ignore. How hard is that?

Bottom of the list is still on the list.

Perhaps you need to be blunter. 'I will not have time to see you, sorry.'