Moving overseas in 10 days and friend keeps bugging me

[Getonwithit1]

Hi all
As the title says, DH and I plus the kids are moving overseas in a little over a week. I've already had a farewell do with my friends however one friend keeps messaging asking to catch up.

I simply don't have the time, I have things to pack, insurance to follow up and a million other things to do, as well as catch up with the family as much as we can before we go.

Honestly this friend messaging has really annoyed me, I've tried telling her I won't have time I'm flat out but she not taking no as an answer. I just don't want to see her as my plate is already full.

Any advice?

I know the feeling. I get married next week and have a friend messaging asking to meet up. I just replied telling her I haven't a minute to spare. In your shoes of she's asks again , I'd tell her that its a great idea as you need lots of help packing and sorting. That soon has people running for the hills.

If she's a friend I would make time. Yabu.

You don't have time to spend some time with your friend but you do have time to whinge to a load of strangers on mumsnet. 🤔

Priorities.

Was she at the farewell do with your other friends? Was she invited?

If yes, just message her to say you’ve already had a farewell do and it was great to see everyone one last before I go, but the rest of the week is fully booked.

Why are you happy to message with a 'friend' who is actually not a friend at all, just someone you happen to know & don't particularly like?

Stop giving the poor woman mixed messages & mute her already.

'So sorry no time for a meet up and won't be able to message for the foreseeable. Take care.'

You told her that she was at the bottom of your list for people to see?
She must have the hide of a rhino, anyone else would get the hint
Just put her on mute/ignore then block if you're not that fussed about continuing the friendship once you've gone
People come in and out of our lives all of the time, some stay longer than others
You probably won't see her ever again tbh

This

I feel sorry for your friend. She isn’t really a friend in your eyes, is she? Obviously she thinks more of you than you do her.

I get that you are very busy, but just think it’s sad you would think of her as the bottom of the pile in terms of friendship ranks. Ouch.

I would just stop replying. It's rude to keep bothering you.

Did you actually say to someone 'you're bottom of the list'?

That's awful

Yet another example of Mumsnet's strange definition of the word "friend".

Tell her the truth: you have neither the time nor the wish to see your friend and catch up with them.

You don’t know what’s going on in her life. She’s your friend it would be nice to make time for someone even offer for her to come and help pack if you are that busy.

Tell her this. You'll be sure not to have her annoy you again, won't you? Lots of time for packing.

Why are you happy to message with a 'friend' who is actually not a friend at all, just someone you happen to know & don't particularly like?

Stop giving the poor woman mixed messages & mute her already.

absolutely this.

if you care about her I'd meet her for a quick coffee, after an hour you can make your excuses.

Hope the move goes well

I completely understand. A friend had a similar situation with another mutual friend - big farewell party but the other friend couldn't make it and kept hounding the leaving-friend for a final get together which just wasn't practical.

I think the only option is to say something like, "I'm sorry, I just don't have time to meet up but if you want to tag along while I go to the skip we can grab a coffee while we're packing the car" or whatever.

Telling someone they are bottom of your list is just demonstrating very poor social skills.

If she's away this week, I would just tell her I only have one hour free tomorrow. "Oh that's a pity, don't worry, we'll meet up when I'm back for a visit, maybe in the New Year".

This person is not your friend, extremely clearly. Just ignore her, she'll soon get the message she is not at all important in your life and has merely served a certain function that is no longer required. Which may be sad for her, but somehow I get the feeling you won't lose any sleep over that.

This.

Also I loved the scenes in friends when they all moved.

Friends can come round to spend time with you and help.

Or you could manage an hour I'm sure.

Invite her over for a coffee and a chat while you pack. Stop being so mean and so precious about who is important and who isn't, in your life. This might come back and bite you on the arse in years to come.

Except this is real life where friends coming round when you’re trying to move abroad is a pain the arse.

My best friend recently emigrated. I didn't see her in the final week here. For our final meeting, she and her husband came for fish and chips and didn't stay late. It was the only way we were going to say our fond farewells. Suggest to your friend she does something similar, as you need to eat, but you are not being unreasonable.

I'm not a doctor either but might you be on the spectrum?