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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to recommend a cheap car seat?

100 replies

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 00:25

My parents want to get a car seat so they can take DD (age 2) out without having to keep borrowing ours.

They’ve asked whether a booster would be OK. Halfords does one for only just over a tenner and it comes with a free demo. I’ve told them that no, these are not an option until 4+. They’ve pointed out that she went in one of these in a taxi to a wedding this summer and was fine. So what’s the problem?

The conversation then tends to lead to me saying that surely their grandchild’s health and safety is more important than a couple of extra hundred quid in the bank (and they are not hard up in the slightest) and them telling me I am being emotionally manipulative. I’m afraid that today I actually said that, if we lost her through the windscreen, starting all over from scratch with a newborn would be a lot more than even a top all bells and whistles car seat.

They were not impressed and their priority remains cheap. So, recommendations please? My preference is rear-facing for safety but that seems to come at a price. Preferably isofix.

OP posts:
Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 00:28

I wasn’t even asking them to pay for it. I’d be prepared to pay for it myself. Yet still they don’t want me forking out loads on a car seat.

OP posts:
Littlebluedinosaur · 27/10/2022 00:29

Can YOU buy a better (safer!) one for them to use? I could only recommend an extended rear facing seat. The cheapest is around £195 (Axkid Move or Britax Maxway) but there are likely to be Black Friday deals soon.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/10/2022 00:29

Why are you considering compromising on your child's safety? You simply can't do that as a responsible parent.

Littlebluedinosaur · 27/10/2022 00:29

Buy a ERF seat and tell them it cost £50. Why do they need to know the cost if you buy it?

SkylightSkylight · 27/10/2022 00:30

Cheapest option (& the ONLY option, for me) is that they don't take her in their car. End of.

if her life isn't important enough to them to buy a decent car seat, then they don't need to be taking her in their car, they can pop over to play for an hour.

if the car seat isn't important to them, I'd worry what else wasn't.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/10/2022 00:30

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 00:28

I wasn’t even asking them to pay for it. I’d be prepared to pay for it myself. Yet still they don’t want me forking out loads on a car seat.

That's not their decision, correct?

I can't really believe what I'm reading here.

SkylightSkylight · 27/10/2022 00:31

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 00:28

I wasn’t even asking them to pay for it. I’d be prepared to pay for it myself. Yet still they don’t want me forking out loads on a car seat.

Give them yours & buy a new one for your car. But my previous post still stands

Littlebluedinosaur · 27/10/2022 00:32

Forking out loads…. Your phrasing here is all wrong. It’s not forking out loads. It’s paying for a decent level of safety for your child.

unknownscot · 27/10/2022 00:35

Wow. Saddest of your child aside - Why are your parents deciding how you spend your money?

unknownscot · 27/10/2022 00:35

I meant safety of your child aside *

Charcy · 27/10/2022 00:36

Take a look at online4baby

Usually have good deals on.

A rear facing at 2 years old is unusual by the way, but Joie do a good one that's a "grow with me" style with good safety ratings.

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 01:01

Thanks. I’m liking the look of Britax Maxway. Doesn’t sound like it’s isofix though?

I actually told them this evening they can just take her out without a car seat tomorrow if they like. After all, we’ve done some Uber trips without a car seat before so what’s the difference? I’m not going to be the unreasonable one.

OP posts:
Derbee · 27/10/2022 01:07

SkylightSkylight · 27/10/2022 00:30

Cheapest option (& the ONLY option, for me) is that they don't take her in their car. End of.

if her life isn't important enough to them to buy a decent car seat, then they don't need to be taking her in their car, they can pop over to play for an hour.

if the car seat isn't important to them, I'd worry what else wasn't.

Exactly

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 27/10/2022 04:08

Depending on her centiles, if under 50th then any 18kg seat is likely to see her safely to HBB age (usually around 5 years) Joie do reasonably priced seats including isofix (but Stages/Every Stage only isofix ff); if over 50th centile then you’d need an etf seat to get to safe HBB age and few 25kg erf seats are isofix, Britax Maxway can be bought for under £180 on some retailers sites.

grantypi · 27/10/2022 04:41

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 01:01

Thanks. I’m liking the look of Britax Maxway. Doesn’t sound like it’s isofix though?

I actually told them this evening they can just take her out without a car seat tomorrow if they like. After all, we’ve done some Uber trips without a car seat before so what’s the difference? I’m not going to be the unreasonable one.

OP please don't let them take her out without a car seat.

It's illegal and moreover drastically unreasonable and sad. Your daughters safety is the only thing that matters.

Please buy a proper car seat, preferably ERF.

grantypi · 27/10/2022 04:42

The odd Uber trip without a car seat is neither here nor there, there's no practical alternative. Just letting her go in your parents car without a seat for no good reason is neglect in my books.

CrabbyCat · 27/10/2022 05:00

At 2, is your DD 15kg (most boosters) or 100 cm (the new iSize boosters) yet? If not, a booster isn't legal. Looking at Halfords, I think the £10 is a backless booster and that has a weight minimum of 22kg, which I can't imagine your DD is.... I'm assuming your parents are aware that legally you don't need a car seat in a taxi but do in a private car....

Who would be fitting the car, you or your parents? If it's your parents, do you think they'd actually fit an Erf seat properly or would they find it too faffy? If not, the Joie Tilt / Steadi / Stages fit more like baby car seats with a seat belt.

hellsbells99 · 27/10/2022 05:09

What about something like this www.argos.co.uk/product/7095984

HS1990 · 27/10/2022 05:09

Look on Facebook Market place. Lots.of seconds hand options in good condition

wishuponastar1988 · 27/10/2022 05:18

hellsbells99 · 27/10/2022 05:09

What about something like this www.argos.co.uk/product/7095984

These car seats are very unsafe. Anyone considering buying should watch them in a crash test

moleeye · 27/10/2022 05:24

I cannot believe you are prioritising pleasing your parents over the safety and life of your child, and are willingly going to allow them to take your child out without an appropriate car seat.

Please do not do this. Do not let them brow beat you. Your child, your rules.

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 05:46

HS1990 · 27/10/2022 05:09

Look on Facebook Market place. Lots.of seconds hand options in good condition

I thought you weren’t supposed to buy car seats second hand and that there were loads of warnings about this?

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 27/10/2022 05:54

We have this as our back up travel and grandparents type car seat. Ds is 2.5 years and still fits in it easily rear facing. It’s can be forward facing as well if you want.

www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/baby/car-seats-and-bases/baby-car-seats-and-bases/00-18kg-%7C-group-0-1/joie-tilt-group-0%2B-1-car-seat-navy-blazer/p/169428

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 05:54

grantypi · 27/10/2022 04:42

The odd Uber trip without a car seat is neither here nor there, there's no practical alternative. Just letting her go in your parents car without a seat for no good reason is neglect in my books.

It would only be the odd trip for them too. They don’t take her out often.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 27/10/2022 05:58

I’m afraid that today I actually said that, if we lost her through the windscreen, starting all over from scratch with a newborn would be a lot more than even a top all bells and whistles car seat.

what a horrible thing to say.