To ask you to recommend a cheap car seat?

[MourningEveryone]

My parents want to get a car seat so they can take DD (age 2) out without having to keep borrowing ours.

They’ve asked whether a booster would be OK. Halfords does one for only just over a tenner and it comes with a free demo. I’ve told them that no, these are not an option until 4+. They’ve pointed out that she went in one of these in a taxi to a wedding this summer and was fine. So what’s the problem?

The conversation then tends to lead to me saying that surely their grandchild’s health and safety is more important than a couple of extra hundred quid in the bank (and they are not hard up in the slightest) and them telling me I am being emotionally manipulative. I’m afraid that today I actually said that, if we lost her through the windscreen, starting all over from scratch with a newborn would be a lot more than even a top all bells and whistles car seat.

They were not impressed and their priority remains cheap. So, recommendations please? My preference is rear-facing for safety but that seems to come at a price. Preferably isofix.

Op you've undermined yourself allowing her to travel without a seat. You'd

Honestly I'd forget about ERFing for occasional use in a grandparents car. And I'd buy a second hand seat or look at the Britax Trifix that will last into the HBB stage.

I know the seat you have and I agree it weighs a ton and not easy to shift between cars.

Yes they say don't buy secondhand, how much of that is about boosting new car seat sales, how much is about safety. . Far more seats are outgrown than have been in accidents.
Just make sure what you are buying is fairly new and in good condition.

Rather than having a row with them, why don't you just buy them a seat you're happy with?

The Maxway isn’t isofix but it is a good seat.
Just buy a seat you like, take it out the box, scuff it up a little bit, add some biscuit crumbs and tell your parents a friend passed it on to you second hand for free!

It's 15 months for iSize, 9kg for other seats.

And making bike helmets a legal requirement discourages cycling. Look at countries that do cycling really well, like the Netherlands. Very few people wear helmets. We need to get cycling to be a mainstream option and requiring helmets works against that.

Cheapest safe option would be a Joie tilt. These are the cheapest rear facing seats that conform to Swedish safety tests.

You seem to be giving mixed messages to your parents op. This is a discussion you don't really need to even be having. "Oh you want to take dc out?" Lets move over the car seat. "Yes it is heavy, if you are going to take her a lot then perhaps I should get you a seat for your car" lovely ok.

There needs to be no discussion on whether it is optional etc as it isn't. No seaty no drivey.

The in car safety centre has the Britax two way elite at £150 at the moment. Very few 25kg ERF seats are isofix and the ones that are are brand new to the market and very expensive.

Unfortunately Halfords are known for providing terrible and sometimes illegal information. I wouldn't trust them to fit a car seat for me. Local independent retailer should be able to help you with something safe.

You are all being ridiculously unreasonable.
Car seats are chosen by the parents of the child because they are your child. They are fitted by whoever the parents choose and feel are responsible enough to fit the car seat.

I suggest YOU buy a decent quality one online at a reasonable price and fit it yourself (exactly the same way you do your current car seat).

All this nonsense about not bothering with one at all makes you sound stupid. Stop making a joke out of the situation and start taking it seriously.

I can’t get over the attitude to lack of safety.

Dh put his foot down immediately when PIL refused to use Dds rear facing seat when she was 2 “as it wasn’t fair she couldn’t see out the front window, she won’t develop properly.” (She read faced until 4 and has been completely unaffected developmentally looking at the rear car seat instead of the front one).They have never been allowed to take her in a car, he didn’t trust them.

There is no way I would let my child drive with someone who didn’t put their safety first.

I think this is a winde up.

You're perfectly entitled to use a car seat in an uber when you take your own seat.

Uber and taxis have a public vehicle licence like a bus therefore they don’t need to supply baby seats on seat belt.

That doesn't mean that it is safe to travel without one.

If a car hits the back of you it's the same outcome as an car without a secure car seat. Baby is going through the window.

*only seat belt.

Sorry but i dont get this how can no seat be safer than a cheap one. Its slso ilkegal unless in an emergency. How can your post go from i want ERF to no seat?

Not at all unusual, both mine rearfaced til they were 4, lots of my friends' kids did too.
Car seat safety has changed dramatically in the last few years due to improved research. We are pretty much the only country in Europe to not have our laws updated to reflect the new safety standard. Rearfacing is mandatory til 6 years old in Scandinavia.

OP, please buy a decent car seat and give it to them, no debate. There is no need for them to know how mich it costs and if they ask,it's one of those occasions where its perfectly OK to tell lie, your precious child's safety is at stake. As for fitting, isofix is incredibly easy, you don't need to have it 'professionally' fitted.

I just can’t get my head around having to lie!

Such a bizarre situation, isn’t it?! Surely the safety of the child is the biggest concern? Not lying about how much something cost or what ever else is going on here.

I can’t imagine how this plays out in real life.

yep this. any car seats with these clip style straps are not very safe.

I’ve got 2 max ways, they often come up in black Friday from winstanley baby store or Bournemouth baby centre. It is seat belt only with tethers and the first few times it took a lot of swearing to install. But now I can get it in quickly and it’s not too heavy, I leave the tethers behind. I bought these and moved our isofix Pearl and base to the grandparents car. When he outgrew the 18kg at about 3:5 he has a joie bold which is forward facing but harnesses to 25kg. He’s just about to outgrow the max way by his height at 5.5.
and rear facing to 18kg is very normal round here!

I don't understand why you'd let them look after your child when they've said the do not care about keeping them safe. Please don't trust Halford to fit the seat, usually they do it wrong! Have a look at the in car safety center, if you can't get to them they have fitting videos.

I can completely understand why they don't want a huge, heavy, hard to install, difficult to move ERF seat in their car for very infrequent short journey use.

Those seats are ok if you are putting them in then leaving them there a couple of years, they are a bulky faff if you want to take it in and out of their car after each use.

Safety is important. But we live in a country with low levels of vehicle collisions and its worth taking into consideration the type of journey too - if in reality they are doing 10 minute journeys on local 30mph roads, the likelihood of a serious collision are very low, and the likelihood of the sort of collision that shows the difference between the best rated ERF seats and a more inexpensive joie is even lower.

we got the axkid move for GPs car. I always check the installation of it.

if you get a FF seat then try to get one with a crotch strap, prevents submarining in a crash.

Please please get a rear facing one. DD was rear facing until just before 4. At 2 I don't know a single CHD who sat front facing. In a crash you want your DC rear facing!

Totally agree. I don't know a single Child who ff at 2.

Rearfacing is mandatory til 6 years old in Scandinavia.

Which country has this law? My brother in law is in Sweden & its til 4 there.

I think ERF is becoming a lot more common. In my antenatal group with DD1, who is 3.5, all the kids are still RFing, and we just had a discussion about car seats at one of DD's baby classes and ERF and RFing seats were mentioned a lot. Which is good!