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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to recommend a cheap car seat?

100 replies

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 00:25

My parents want to get a car seat so they can take DD (age 2) out without having to keep borrowing ours.

They’ve asked whether a booster would be OK. Halfords does one for only just over a tenner and it comes with a free demo. I’ve told them that no, these are not an option until 4+. They’ve pointed out that she went in one of these in a taxi to a wedding this summer and was fine. So what’s the problem?

The conversation then tends to lead to me saying that surely their grandchild’s health and safety is more important than a couple of extra hundred quid in the bank (and they are not hard up in the slightest) and them telling me I am being emotionally manipulative. I’m afraid that today I actually said that, if we lost her through the windscreen, starting all over from scratch with a newborn would be a lot more than even a top all bells and whistles car seat.

They were not impressed and their priority remains cheap. So, recommendations please? My preference is rear-facing for safety but that seems to come at a price. Preferably isofix.

OP posts:
Dallimore · 27/10/2022 05:58

Surely this post isn’t real. You’re actually considering letting them take a 2 year old in a car without a car seat because it’s just the odd trip?

Hugasauras · 27/10/2022 05:59

Maxway plus is a brilliant seat, my 3.5yo is in it with plenty of room, but no ERF seats are Isofix except the eye-wateringly expensive Axkid One.

What does she weigh? If she's low centile, a Joie Steadi is cheap and will RF till 18kg.

Hugasauras · 27/10/2022 06:00

Tilt is also an option but it has a shorter shell than the Steadi so gets outgrown on height more quickly

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:00

CrabbyCat · 27/10/2022 05:00

At 2, is your DD 15kg (most boosters) or 100 cm (the new iSize boosters) yet? If not, a booster isn't legal. Looking at Halfords, I think the £10 is a backless booster and that has a weight minimum of 22kg, which I can't imagine your DD is.... I'm assuming your parents are aware that legally you don't need a car seat in a taxi but do in a private car....

Who would be fitting the car, you or your parents? If it's your parents, do you think they'd actually fit an Erf seat properly or would they find it too faffy? If not, the Joie Tilt / Steadi / Stages fit more like baby car seats with a seat belt.

Sorry yes, it needs to come from Halfords as they do fitting. I sent a link back in February to two different car seats I would be happy with and one was on sale at the time. One of their excuses not to buy one was that they didn’t want to take responsibility for fitting it, so it had to come from Halfords who would fit it for them. I wasn’t happy with anything Halfords stocked, so we reached stalemate.

OP posts:
Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:03

daisychain01 · 27/10/2022 05:58

I’m afraid that today I actually said that, if we lost her through the windscreen, starting all over from scratch with a newborn would be a lot more than even a top all bells and whistles car seat.

what a horrible thing to say.

Yes it really was, wasn’t it?

OP posts:
Dontsparethehorses · 27/10/2022 06:04

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 05:46

I thought you weren’t supposed to buy car seats second hand and that there were loads of warnings about this?

Show quote history

There is a risk it has been in an accident but that is less than the risk of just using a booster seat with such a small child if you trust the seller?

I think the installation bit is ridiculous- if they trust you to put your car seat into your car then why can’t you fit it in theirs? Or are you not able to be there to do this for some reason?

Fajeeta · 27/10/2022 06:09

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 01:01

Thanks. I’m liking the look of Britax Maxway. Doesn’t sound like it’s isofix though?

I actually told them this evening they can just take her out without a car seat tomorrow if they like. After all, we’ve done some Uber trips without a car seat before so what’s the difference? I’m not going to be the unreasonable one.

Wtf why did you do that?!

Fajeeta · 27/10/2022 06:10

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:00

Sorry yes, it needs to come from Halfords as they do fitting. I sent a link back in February to two different car seats I would be happy with and one was on sale at the time. One of their excuses not to buy one was that they didn’t want to take responsibility for fitting it, so it had to come from Halfords who would fit it for them. I wasn’t happy with anything Halfords stocked, so we reached stalemate.

Show quote history

So they don't care about having a proper car seat but if they have one they want Halfords to fit it? Weird.

DancingWithYouInTheSummerRain · 27/10/2022 06:13

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:00

Sorry yes, it needs to come from Halfords as they do fitting. I sent a link back in February to two different car seats I would be happy with and one was on sale at the time. One of their excuses not to buy one was that they didn’t want to take responsibility for fitting it, so it had to come from Halfords who would fit it for them. I wasn’t happy with anything Halfords stocked, so we reached stalemate.

Show quote history

Please don't use Halfords/Smyths etc for fitting, they will advise on the most basic legal seats for your child, in which case you might as well allow the £10 booster.

Read facing is the safest way for your child to travel, if her centiles are under 50 and she isn't taller than average the Joie Tilt is good option, and quite often around £50-£80, however if your child is taller it won't last. It is a seat belted option, but not difficult to fit, and not any less safe than isofix (invented as a fool proof way of putting in a car seat).

Alternatively, the Joie stages is another good option, but again only goes up to 18kg.

Please do not alow them to use a booster, the fit will not be correct and submarining under the belt is a high risk, front facing is also not advised at 2, all you have to do is search for comparison videos to see why.

Can they not borrow your seat? I would be suggesting that as an option and being their only option, if you don't have a seat I would purchase the correct, most safest seat you can for your child and again tell them it is this or you don't take her.

My parents resisted on rear facing, they got told, they still don't 'believe' in it, however this is a hill I am willing to die on.

The PP who said it is unusual for a 2 year old to rear face......it isn't, it is 5x safer, just a shame people are in a rush to forward face, or as I see a lot have expensive cars, but the scraping by safe car seats.

The attitudes to car seat safety in this country is awful, fuelled by the delay in changing the laws and lack of promotion of safety.

WeyAyeMan · 27/10/2022 06:16

Don't go to Halfords they don't have any training in relation to car seat safety.
If you have fb join the car seat safety uk group, you can get recommendations based on her age, centile etc.

It's 5x safer to keep your child rear facing for as long as possible. The group I mentioned has lots of information you will be able to show her grandparents.

I've got an axkid move for my 18 month old, brilliant car seat, around £200

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:20

DancingWithYouInTheSummerRain · 27/10/2022 06:13

Please don't use Halfords/Smyths etc for fitting, they will advise on the most basic legal seats for your child, in which case you might as well allow the £10 booster.

Read facing is the safest way for your child to travel, if her centiles are under 50 and she isn't taller than average the Joie Tilt is good option, and quite often around £50-£80, however if your child is taller it won't last. It is a seat belted option, but not difficult to fit, and not any less safe than isofix (invented as a fool proof way of putting in a car seat).

Alternatively, the Joie stages is another good option, but again only goes up to 18kg.

Please do not alow them to use a booster, the fit will not be correct and submarining under the belt is a high risk, front facing is also not advised at 2, all you have to do is search for comparison videos to see why.

Can they not borrow your seat? I would be suggesting that as an option and being their only option, if you don't have a seat I would purchase the correct, most safest seat you can for your child and again tell them it is this or you don't take her.

My parents resisted on rear facing, they got told, they still don't 'believe' in it, however this is a hill I am willing to die on.

The PP who said it is unusual for a 2 year old to rear face......it isn't, it is 5x safer, just a shame people are in a rush to forward face, or as I see a lot have expensive cars, but the scraping by safe car seats.

The attitudes to car seat safety in this country is awful, fuelled by the delay in changing the laws and lack of promotion of safety.

Show quote history

Where CAN you go for safe fitting then? I would personally really like some help with this. We have the Britax iSize which goes all the way from birth to four, bought nearly 3 years ago for £390. I genuinely really struggle with moving it from car to car and try to do this as little as possible. As well as it being heavy and bulky, I find it very hard to get the isofix poles in just the right place and it usually results in some swearing.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock1 · 27/10/2022 06:21

I actually told them this evening they can just take her out without a car seat tomorrow if they like. After all, we’ve done some Uber trips without a car seat before so what’s the difference?
Life or death.
Ffs.

Geranium1984 · 27/10/2022 06:23

We didn't buy our own car until recently and so had a non isofix seat for when we rented cars for holidays or went out with family etc.
We got the Jolie tilt and its relatively easy to install, plenty of videos on you tube.
Why don't you just buy one yourself and fit it for them. Tell them a friend gave it to you or something.

Original poster
MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:25

Fajeeta · 27/10/2022 06:10

So they don't care about having a proper car seat but if they have one they want Halfords to fit it? Weird.

Show quote history

It’s my dad who wants a cheap booster for a 4 year-old to somehow be fine and my mum who doesn’t want them to be responsible for the fitting.

OP posts:
WeyAyeMan · 27/10/2022 06:25

There are lots of i depende retailers that will do fitting also. Look at simply sage car seats.

I can't believe you said they can take her without a car seat. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not only is that so irresponsible, dangerous, isn't it illegal?

KitchenSupper · 27/10/2022 06:25

I also think a second hand seat from a trustworthy person if you can find one would be safer than an unsuitable or poorly rated seat. Perhaps a friend of a friend might have one to sell.
It’s not unusual to rear face beyond 2. My 5 year old is in a rear facing seat and hasn’t ever complained. But these seats are probably beyond what they want OP to pay.
I don’t think you were unreasonable at all to say what you said about her going through the windscreen. I’ve said similar to my parents, although I focused on the neck breaking risk.
I would also assume that your parents would be fined if found to be using an unsuitable seat.

WeyAyeMan · 27/10/2022 06:27

Ffs auto correct.

Independent retailers - simply safe car seats. Depends on your area but most will supply fit and do fit checks. It's not worth compromising on your child's safety

DancingWithYouInTheSummerRain · 27/10/2022 06:28

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 06:20

Where CAN you go for safe fitting then? I would personally really like some help with this. We have the Britax iSize which goes all the way from birth to four, bought nearly 3 years ago for £390. I genuinely really struggle with moving it from car to car and try to do this as little as possible. As well as it being heavy and bulky, I find it very hard to get the isofix poles in just the right place and it usually results in some swearing.

Show quote history

Independent shops are usually really good, and In Car Safety Centre (I think Milton Keynes), they used to offer telephone support.

If you choose a seat, the manufacturer usually has installation videos available, so you can see what you are up against.

I totally get what you mean about a heavy seat, I have the same issue, in this situation I think a non isofix would be better as they are sometime lighter to move.

I would contact some local Independent 'baby' shops or In Car Safety Centre and see what they advise you, tell them specifically what your requirements are, and also tell them you struggle to install your seat so they get the whole picture.

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 27/10/2022 06:36

MourningEveryone · 27/10/2022 01:01

Thanks. I’m liking the look of Britax Maxway. Doesn’t sound like it’s isofix though?

I actually told them this evening they can just take her out without a car seat tomorrow if they like. After all, we’ve done some Uber trips without a car seat before so what’s the difference? I’m not going to be the unreasonable one.

If you like the idea of the Maxway, go on their website and do a search for retailers near your parents. One of the things you pay for with these erf seats is that retailers provide aftercare including safe installation of the seat in your car and a fit check of the child in the seat. Britax don’t approve their seats for use in spaces that have underfloor storage as they don’t allow the leg to sit on the lid; an alternative that is similar price and installation but does allow underfloor storage below the leg is Axkid (they have a seat around £200 at the moment) and, again, part of what you pay for is installation and for checks.

Fajeeta · 27/10/2022 06:37

Geranium1984 · 27/10/2022 06:23

We didn't buy our own car until recently and so had a non isofix seat for when we rented cars for holidays or went out with family etc.
We got the Jolie tilt and its relatively easy to install, plenty of videos on you tube.
Why don't you just buy one yourself and fit it for them. Tell them a friend gave it to you or something.

Yes look at the Jolie range. Not too pricy

Caspianberg · 27/10/2022 06:38

You can just fit it yourself. Car seats are designed to be used in more than one car so they are designed to be refitted again when moved.

we have full isofix maxi cosi rear face etc in our main car. But like you say, they are heavy to move, but easy enough. Hence we have joie tilt.
The tilt has been on airplane several times, in hire cars, in grandparents car. It’s not as easy without swivel, it’s not as luxury feel, but the safety ratings are pretty good, has rear facing, and it was €60. It’s very easy to fit yourself, which you have to when moving it about.

My Ds is 2.5 years. He’s tall ( about 95cm), weighs about 13kg, and has plenty of space still in it when we used 2 weeks ago. It should easily last another year +. And by then he will be almost 4 and I am happy then for him to forward face in high back booster

ParentallyUnprepared · 27/10/2022 06:45

You're not happy with her going in a booster but you're okay for her to use nothing at all?

What?

Krabapple · 27/10/2022 06:49

I am genuinely confused here. We bought a forward facing isofix car seat from Argos for about £90 for my 2 year old grandchild. I checked the guidance on gov.uk - all fine for age and work: height. We wanted one easy to swap between cars.
On here people are stating it has to be rear facing until about 4? Why do they sell & recommend other options then? Genuinely wondering as feel I have made a mistake now.

ParentallyUnprepared · 27/10/2022 06:54

Krabapple · 27/10/2022 06:49

I am genuinely confused here. We bought a forward facing isofix car seat from Argos for about £90 for my 2 year old grandchild. I checked the guidance on gov.uk - all fine for age and work: height. We wanted one easy to swap between cars.
On here people are stating it has to be rear facing until about 4? Why do they sell & recommend other options then? Genuinely wondering as feel I have made a mistake now.

It's personal preference but rear facing is safer so it's better to do it for as long as possible. It's not a legal requirement to continue until 4, though.

Caspianberg · 27/10/2022 06:56

@Krabapple - legally, it’s officially 15 months in the uk when you HAVE to rear face.
Many other countries have 2 year’s minimum.

The minimum is just that. It’s the very very earliest you can move them forward facing. It’s isn’t the safest option. You can see lots of car seat tests online. Hence why many try and keep rear facing as long as possible

Its not even a legal requirement to wear a helmet on a bike in the uk. Doesn’t make it safe. Companies will make and sell what they can. If they can legally make a car seat that’s only tested up to 30 mile crashes and sell cheaper, than the big brands that might test up to 70 mile crashes, then they will.