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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In what ways has 12 years of tory rule impacted you as a woman

148 replies

SuspiciousHedgehog · 26/10/2022 21:11

I would like responses detailing how you feel that the last 12 years of economic policy has affected you in ways that are unique or much more likely due to your sex.

Good and bad, please

OP posts:
Pearfacebanana · 26/10/2022 22:26

Well the fact we now have to argue about what a woman is. 🤷‍♀️

OnomatopoeiaFlea · 26/10/2022 22:26

Terftrain · 26/10/2022 22:24

Do you mean women?

Or simply anyone that decides to self-identify as one? (As per the Labour Party who are unable to state what a woman is?)

must get tiring being so bitter

MotherOfFireBreathers · 26/10/2022 22:30

Terftrain · 26/10/2022 22:24

Do you mean women?

Or simply anyone that decides to self-identify as one? (As per the Labour Party who are unable to state what a woman is?)

Labour are indeed a shitshow on this but wasn't it Theresa May that started the talk of self-ID? And it's been under a Tory government that makes have been placed in women's prisons, and under a Tory government where the NHS have been captured and place males on female wards?

Starmer is a total invertebrate but all of the above started under the Tories. It was actually going to be one of my examples of how my life as a woman has become worse under the Tories.

Also the closure of sure start centres, worsening of NHS services, in particular maternity services. And yes agree with the comments about ELCS above- I do think I did better having those but post natal care was poor.

crackofdoom · 26/10/2022 22:33

I had one DC in 2010 and the community midwives would come out and visit you for the 3 day check- an ideal way to pick up on anything being wrong. I had my second in 2015 and you had to be driven to visit them at the centre because of lack of staffing. Luckily I had someone to drive me, so they were able to notice my post natal anxiety, but I couldn't help thinking of all the vulnerable new mums who must have fallen off the radar.

Universal credit being such a shitshow for self employed parents who- due to lack of reliable childcare- are limited in the hours they work.

crackofdoom · 26/10/2022 22:33

Oh, and the rape conviction rates just getting worse and worse.

karalimed · 26/10/2022 22:33

OnomatopoeiaFlea · 26/10/2022 22:17

So you’re keen to have children but done no research into options?

weird but ok

You haven’t needed to have a medical reason since 2018 for an elective. And if you go into labour early you call the delivery ward and get in asap and you’ll still have the section if you’re not too far into labour

I mean, I know that it is indeed possible to have a vaginal birth or a c section. I don't think I am being unreasonable to not know that you can have a c section just because you don't think that the maternity care at your local hospital is good enough.

Everyone I know that has given birth has had a vaginal birth, emergency c section, one for a medical reason. No one has ever told me they had one just because they wanted one so why would I question any different? I don't know what I don't know.

Hbh17 · 26/10/2022 22:34

Hasn't made any difference to me at all, that I can think of.

OnomatopoeiaFlea · 26/10/2022 22:35

karalimed · 26/10/2022 22:33

I mean, I know that it is indeed possible to have a vaginal birth or a c section. I don't think I am being unreasonable to not know that you can have a c section just because you don't think that the maternity care at your local hospital is good enough.

Everyone I know that has given birth has had a vaginal birth, emergency c section, one for a medical reason. No one has ever told me they had one just because they wanted one so why would I question any different? I don't know what I don't know.

most who are keen to do something research it, that’s all I’m saying

Elective sections are pretty common

ThingsIhavelearnt · 26/10/2022 22:37

Women are buggered.

if I had been pregnant during the last 3 years I would have died without question. Both my pregnancies were high risk and I would never have survived the lack of appointments.

Im fed up with people like PA still in public life.
im fed up with affairs being acceptable by Boris or Liz
I’m fed up with men being appointed to be a period ambassador or trans men in women sports and no one doing anything about it
Im fed up with violence against women

MarshaBradyo · 26/10/2022 22:38

It hasn’t really impacted much from Labour to Cons, I’ve only really felt the impact of the state intrusion during the pandemic.

Newcatbrowntail · 26/10/2022 22:39

WASPi women, hung out to dry regarding pension provision

Terftrain · 26/10/2022 22:40

OnomatopoeiaFlea · 26/10/2022 22:26

must get tiring being so bitter

Yes indeed. Your post did make me yawn.

holidayelbow · 26/10/2022 22:42

I benefited from the 30 hours and tax free childcare and free meals.

Good maternity provision where I am . No issues there.

MotherOfFireBreathers · 26/10/2022 22:42

You haven’t needed to have a medical reason since 2018 for an elective. And if you go into labour early you call the delivery ward and get in asap and you’ll still have the section if you’re not too far into labour

This is incorrect btw, it's actually been since 2011 when NICE changed the guidelines. I should know, I had my first ELCS in 2012. So maybe that was one improvement under the Tories 😂

karalimed · 26/10/2022 22:49

OnomatopoeiaFlea · 26/10/2022 22:35

most who are keen to do something research it, that’s all I’m saying

Elective sections are pretty common

Research what though? The NHS website itself makes no mention of this unless you specifically look for it, like I did just now.

Elective surgery just means not emergency, so yes elective sections are common in the same way that elective hip replacements are common, yet I can't demand a hip replacement unless I meet specific requirements.

Until you mentioned it I had no idea this was a thing, I have never heard of this happening unless you went private and paid for it. I think most women could be forgiven for thinking that if you get pregnant and you do not have any contraindications, you give birth, end of.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 26/10/2022 23:10

Things that piss me off:
anyone being able to rock up and claim to be a woman and gatecrash women only spaces
Menopause and provision of HRT not taken seriously
A couple can earn up to £100k and still claim childcare benefit but a single parent can only earn up to £50k - most likely to impact women
Cost of childcare is ridiculously high - impacts families and especially single parents
No laws to make absent dads pay for their children
Poor maternity and breastfeeding support services
Women paid less than men for doing the same job

Tangled123 · 26/10/2022 23:11

Probably having to claim tax free childcare instead of childcare vouchers.

My nearest hospital (10 minutes away) is under threat. That hasn’t affected me yet, but will if it closes before(/if) I get pregnant again. The next closest one is 45 minutes away.

My area has sure start but no 30 hours free childcare. Not sure what we can get in NI instead.

I wasn’t able to go back to university for a second degree as the fees were too high (not just a woman problem though). My first one was a mistake.

crackofdoom · 26/10/2022 23:15

Oh yeah, and having to jump through the most incredible set of hoops just to get the kids and I seen by a dentist. We're actually on the books of a NHS dentist, but ALL their dentists left!! Most of them were Polish, so, yeah, Brexit 🙄 I haven't been able to book a routine check up for 2 years.

Angelswithflirtyfaces · 26/10/2022 23:24

Lack of funding in social services/ healthcare/ education. A large proportion of these are jobs for women
Women who have long term health conditions and cannot work have to go on househokd income. No specific money just for them ( as in have to get money from partner, a risk if in an abusive relationship)
WASPi pension debacle
Cuts to busaries for health care training
Extremely poor services for women Surestart/ long queues for counselling/ retraining etc. Due to childcare
Lack of affordable housing
I cant remember a time when being a woman was not so bad.
The lack of aspiration due to the above so women / girls turn to only fans as a career alternative, driving mysogyny deeper as in police force etc

Redwineandroses · 26/10/2022 23:25

I had my dc in the 00s so under Labour government. Both times were not great, understaffed etc and post natal was awful. Surestart centres were ok but I could see the blatant money wastage at times.

Haven't noticed any different over the past decade, life just it's usual ups and downs. As a single parent top up benefits have been more than enough to live on. The biggest difference has been the last year or so with covid/brexit/Ukraine but then everyone is feeling that too.

Where I live I just cannot fault the NHS in recent times because they have been amazing.

TooBigForMyBoots · 26/10/2022 23:41

I had 1 DC in the 00s and another 11 years later. The difference was stark. From the Maternity ward, to HVs, Sure Start provision and the fact that the primary school is now asking for a termly donation to help cover costs.

Their Brexit cost me my job. Their trans shitshow enabled my Ex to destroy my professional reputation.

Under the Tories, I became a 2nd tier citizen who can be stripped of my citizenship without warning.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 27/10/2022 00:51

"Their Brexit cost me my job. Their trans shitshow enabled my Ex to destroy my professional reputation.

Under the Tories, I became a 2nd tier citizen who can be stripped of my citizenship without warning."

Please explain. I cannot understand this at all.

underneaththeash · 27/10/2022 02:05

I’ve paid less tax, seen ‘work-shy’ people being encouraged back to work. Seen major infrastructure building taking place - we’ve had a new health centre in town. A new school and a new playground.

Mindthegap725 · 27/10/2022 02:06

Brexit has had a profound impact on me, my family, my nationality status and my career and continues to do so. It’s the same for my husband but he is not affected in quite the same way by the geographical fracturing of our respective families.

I think the lack of policing has made it very hard for women to feel safe outside at night and the murder of Sarah Everard and other problems within the Met police have been shocking and have diminished women’s confidence and trust in the police on so many levels.

Young women in care and young vulnerable women have been let down horribly as demonstrated by the grooming and abuse cases in Rochdale and elsewhere.

And the lack of resources in the justice system has left victims of rape and sexual violence vulnerable and unsupported.

Plus all of the other examples previously mentioned such as the scandalously poor care im maternity units, lack of support for carers looking after elderly parents or dependent children with disabilities, not all are women but the majority are. And all of the women in the caring professions such as carers, nurses, cleaners, nursery workers, working long hours for low wages. The caring professions are not valued nearly enough.

And of course we are starting to see the rl effects of self ID legislation with men encroaching on womens prisons, in womens spaces, in womens sport, and on all- female short lists. Why is it always women who have to budge up and make space? Why not men?

And of course there is the Conservative government’s failure to push through legislation to extend protections to prevent pregnancy and maternity discrimination in the workplace which is increasing, not diminishing!

Kendodd · 27/10/2022 09:42

The Tories have been an absolute disaster for women, and yet all over MN women are falling over themselves with their Vote Tory massaging.

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