What's been one of the shittest times for you?

[Justgetitoverwith]

Posting here for traffic.

My woes really probably are nothing compared to some. I had a chat with my priest not long ago and we theorised that people's genuine and I stress genuine difficulties are all relative to their experiences, but recognising that yes some were definitely worse but it doesn't minimise the suffering experienced by those more fortunate at it were. Feelings are feelings basically.

I went back to work after maternity leave and I feel it's all been shit ever since. Child is at nursery and they're catching an illness every other week, as am I. DH seems to have a better immune system. I've just had a virus like flu and I'm not shot of it but I've just had severe vomiting and diarrhoea. Managed to orchestrate things so child hasn't come into contact with me and can still go to nursery so me and DH could get much needed time together as I'm on "holiday" this week. I'm still feeling weak as a kitten so fab quality time

To top it all I read a thread at the start of half term that seemed to be "me" complaining about allocation of work... without going into details...I've been careful not to post it on MN as it's a really sensitive situation and possibly bullying, but coincidence or not someone posted the exact same situation...it really rattled me and upset me greatly as the implications of my manager and anyone else for that matter seeing it and thinking its me complaining are on my career. .my livelihood my bread and butter for putting a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our back.

The first child free time in 18 months coming up and I'm sick 😫. It's been shit since falling pregnant, the most difficult pregnancy, difficult birth, fucking milk allergy, no family help near by, teething literally all at once every other fucking week and a baby with zero pain threshold poor thing, it's been shit.

I call 2018 my annus horribilis.

1 - I injured my leg and had to have pretty major surgery in late February - the post op period was agony (worse than B2B childbirth) and a few days later I was rushed back into hospital with a massive saddle pulmonary embolism which very nearly killed me (family called, resus and ICU job). Lungs and heart will never be the same again and I was left with PTSD.

2 - DH and I were taken to employment tribunal by an employee we sacked after a grievance case of harassment brought by a female employee (other stories came out during the investigation) which we upheld. he tried to accuse us of 7 different things which were patently false. It turned out he had done the same to many other previous employers (so a serial litigator - not that it made a difference to his claim against us) and has also done since. I was actually still talking to our lawyer when I was in ICU with the above PE and had to sit through the tribunal and be a witness when I was still recovering. It was unbelievably stressful. All counts were thrown out and his appeal was not allowed - thank god.

3 - I found out that my "D"H had cheated on me.

I was an absolute wreck. Was pretty suicidal at times.

Watching my 17 year old dd being abused by her bf. It nearly killed us as a family.

Police involvement eventually meant the end of the relationship but the repurcussions lasted a lot longer for her, and us as well.

Sorry you feel so shit, OP, being back after work after mat leave is definitely a challenging time, especially with childhood illnesses all over the place, but it does get better when they get a bit older, you just have to toughen it out.

For what it's worth (and this is extremely outing) my shittiest time was my first pregnancy - I didn't want to keep the baby at first because I was at university at the time.
My then-fiance convinced me to keep it, then cheated on me and left me for my best "friend" when I was halfway through pregnancy. They did everything they could to destroy me through the insecure relationship they had, including spreading lies about me, kicking me out of the shared house, making me homeless and ending in him threatening to kill me - all while I was carrying his child.
Then a friend helped me move to his family's so I had a place to live, but they kicked me out, too, because having a frankly traumatised pregnant woman in their house wasn't the joy they thought.
I was facing homelessness at over 6 months pregnant, in a foreign (to me) country, no friends, no family.

In the end I managed to find some place to live, deferred uni for a year, dragged myself out of the shit, found a part-time job, arranged childcare and managed to graduate a year later. Nowadays, I own a place, rock my job and the child I kept despite everything and I are incredibly close now they are a teen. It all works out eventually.

Whenever I hit rock bottom now I always know I can do it again. And when you get through this phase, you will know you can do it, too.

25vyears old. Severe pre eclampsia and HELLP syndrome at end of pregnancy. In hospital 6 weeks and nearly died, as did DS. Emergency C section and severe PTSD.

Came home and baby cried 24 hrs per day. Never stopped, never slept. I was so ill I was hallucinating. Abusive DH who never helped, made me do everything, left me alone for days at a time and screamed at me if house wasnt tidy or his dinner wasnt ready. Then he had an affair which was " My fault as I was always so bloody miserable" and kept seeing her. I couldnt leave, he was financially abusive and I had no money.

Begged my mum for help, she flatly refused. I was very badly self harming and would be dead now if not for my HV. Massive doses of Prozac saved me.

Lock down. My dad died. I had been to see him in hospital every day for almost a year, even though he was a useless alcoholic. 4 weeks later I found a lump. It was stage 3 breast cancer. All apps, treatment, operations ect i had to do alone. Narc mum insisted i still shopped, did all her odd jobs and be there for her grief 24/7. Husband lost his job , had a breakdown and just ceased to function. Adult DS with ASD couldnt cope with my diagnosis, moved in with his dad and completely cut me off. Adult DSD got in with a bad crowd at uni and was admitted to hospital for stitches after a self harming session and breakdown.No money coming into the house so i had to go back to work. I had to deal with all this alone, no support from anyone.

Radiotherapy left me with 3rd degree burns and perm lung damage( due to chronic AI disease). I was put on huge doses of immune suppressants that made me very very sick. My mum told me i was pathetic to complain,I needed to think about how hard her life was and do more to help, and "I only had cancer. People get it every day. It doesnt make you special. Dont expect any special treatment from me" It was at that point i realised she had never, ever loved me and I went no contact.

I had to come to terms with the fact that at the darkest points in my life the people who were supposed to love me not only abandoned me, but placed the burden of their care onto me.
Im in therapy now, but I dont think I will ever heal from it.

I have no words for what some of you have been subjected to, just utter utter admiration you haven't given up and still face every day despite what's been thrown at you, through no fault of your own. I'd give each and every one of you the biggest of hugs, and all the lashings of chocolate, tea and cake on tap for the remainder of your days if I could. Strong would be an insult of a description but I'm not sure what word would best describe you all without sounding patronising either. ❤

Mine was losing a parent, losing my job and losing a relationship all in one year. I barely ate, developed terrible panic attacks, couldn't sleep properly and desperately wanted my life to end. I've gone through challenges before and since but that year was the one that nearly broke me.

Shittest time?

I was 6 months pregnant with identical triplets.
I had to urgently go to London on the train (4 hour journey) for a fetal operation on them as they had twin to twin Syndrome (their blood supply was entwined and one was getting it all and the other two weren't and it was making them seriously sick. Without it they wouldn't survive.)

On the way home from London, I started bleeding. The hospital I was under told me to go home and rest and it was normal!
So I went home, started getting a lot of pain. Rang again. Told to stay home.
2 days later I was in agony had rang them multiple times and was told stay at home.
My parents rushed me into the car and straight to the hospital a 40 minute drive of being in active early labour.
I got there and within two minutes my waters broke. They rush me in for a scan, one of my triplets had passed away.
Seven hours later I gave birth? To three stillborn sons.

Worse and shittest time of my life.
The hospital accepted blame for their deaths, but nothing was ever done about it. They should of told me to go straight in and monitored me. They didn't.
Could never put myself through that again, I was a broken person for many years.

Both my shittiest times have been child related. Going back to work after mat leave and having a really demanding line manager. I wanted to spend more time with ds, but found myself working extra hours and feeling like I was doing neither my job nor parenting very well.

Then last October when my dd started reception. Her behaviour went off the scale, it had a massive impact on the whole family. We were broken. We felt like we'd lost her. Spent several months with the family worker, mental health practitioner etc trying to work out how to support her.

In a much happier place again now. I've never experienced depression in life before but when you have children, their pain gives you a thousand times more pain than your own. That's how I feel anyway.

I have had some very dark times, as I think everyone does. It's a sad part of life but I look back and think wow look what I got through! I'm not having a great time right now, I have no control over the situation so I am just doing my best and taking each day as it comes.

I'm not sharing my worst times because I believe your priest is right. I've read some stories here and it's made me think, actually I've had it good but, in reality, no I haven't. My bad times cannot be measured against anothers.
I genuinely hope anyone going through therapy or working through any issues, manage to find some form of happiness
@Justgetitoverwith my DS I'd now second year of nursery. The first winter was the worst. We've had all common child illnesses except chicken pox. Fingers crossed, its calming now. Had runny nose etc every other week and one sickness bug but was only too ill to go in with the sickness. There's light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's hard, especially when you're ill yourself. Good diet, vitamins and keeping active have helped just to feel healthier.

Urgh baby with milk allergy and difficult birth here too OP🌹

I’m sorry that you’re having a difficult time. Life throws us some shitty situations for sure. Your feelings are valid. Just remember that.

I was under CAMHS from 11-18 years due to severe OCD. It took ages to get that support and I recall one doctors appointment when I was 8 with the doctor telling me that I was a naughty little girl and that I need to stop being naughty and attention seeking from my mum and dad.

Fast forward to teenage years, I overdosed a couple of times and tried to hang myself.

I am glad I got through that period of my life.

The year that I got married. 3 months later, DH wanted to buy a car, said car went into my name (I didn't even drive but my credit was better) a month later I found out he was being made bankrupt- he knew at time of taking out finance in my name.
Despite being too ill to actually work, I went and got myself 2 jobs, I was leaving my house at 6am, to start work, finished one job at 5pm, would go back out at 6pm, and come back at 10pm, I learned to drive, H cancelled the car insurance but didn't tell me. He was in control of our finances, was taking everything, then it turned out he hadn't been paying rent. So we were being evicted. I was notified 2 days before my birthday. I cried solidly that birthday. As if it wasn't enough he then got sacked, so I had to source the new property, deposit for it, and get him a new job.
I didn't have family, or friends to help, and a young DD who I felt I'd completely let down.

Things do change. I promise

Last year was probably the worst of my life. DS behaviour deteriorated massively, we think he's probably autistic. We have no help with the violent meltdowns, worst week he was having two day, my arms were literally covered in bruises from him biting me.

I went to A&E three times. Police have been out twice. DS hasn't been to school since July. We're increasingly broke because DH can barely work - we've considered him getting an evening job, but he doesn't think it's safe to leave me on my own with our son. Last time DH went out to see his family DS had a meltdown and I was kicked in the head and punched in the eye.

DS won't go to sleep on his own. I'm in with him now. I have no hobbies, nothing, I've had to give up everything I loved doing. Everything is work or looking after DS.

the past year when I took a medication that killed my sex drive and ruined my body giving me insomnia, depression etc. Still trying to heal from it.

Right now I'm having a dreadful time. Husband and I are getting divorced and I'm worried how its going to affect our 4yr old. Also worried about money and how ill afford the bills on my own, plus my car needs a lot of work before its MOT in Feb, which i just cannot afford. My dad is terminally ill with cancer, he lives on his own and I'm his sole support due to being an only child. Dad hasn't taken the news of our divorce very well at all, so I feel guilty that I'm adding extra stress to him when he's very unwell. I've been constantly ill with viruses and bugs for the past couple of months because I'm so run down - probably due to stress.

My worst time was when 4 yr old DD nearly died from catching the cold sore virus. She was in intensive care and they saved her life.

When I've had periods in my life when I've felt low, I have found keeping myself occupied really helps. Little things like drawing and painting, gping to my dance class and getting out in the fresh air really help me.

I hope you feel better soon OP. In your situation I would consider seeing my GP to rule out a medical reason for you catching every cold going.

A couple of points -

DS being diagnosed with a brain tumour at 5 and needing chemotherapy. That seemed like such a dark time. He's now 14 and thankfully it's mainly a distant memory

Me starting with very poor mental health issues, triggered by one panic attack. Changed me forever, I'll never be the same person again, not necessarily bad as it's probably made me even more kind hearted and empathetic

Life can be really shit sometimes!