What's been one of the shittest times for you?

[Justgetitoverwith]

Posting here for traffic.

My woes really probably are nothing compared to some. I had a chat with my priest not long ago and we theorised that people's genuine and I stress genuine difficulties are all relative to their experiences, but recognising that yes some were definitely worse but it doesn't minimise the suffering experienced by those more fortunate at it were. Feelings are feelings basically.

I went back to work after maternity leave and I feel it's all been shit ever since. Child is at nursery and they're catching an illness every other week, as am I. DH seems to have a better immune system. I've just had a virus like flu and I'm not shot of it but I've just had severe vomiting and diarrhoea. Managed to orchestrate things so child hasn't come into contact with me and can still go to nursery so me and DH could get much needed time together as I'm on "holiday" this week. I'm still feeling weak as a kitten so fab quality time

To top it all I read a thread at the start of half term that seemed to be "me" complaining about allocation of work... without going into details...I've been careful not to post it on MN as it's a really sensitive situation and possibly bullying, but coincidence or not someone posted the exact same situation...it really rattled me and upset me greatly as the implications of my manager and anyone else for that matter seeing it and thinking its me complaining are on my career. .my livelihood my bread and butter for putting a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our back.

The first child free time in 18 months coming up and I'm sick 😫. It's been shit since falling pregnant, the most difficult pregnancy, difficult birth, fucking milk allergy, no family help near by, teething literally all at once every other fucking week and a baby with zero pain threshold poor thing, it's been shit.

That must have been awful 💐

I've had a few really shitty times in life. I was in a family of domestic violence growing up, was bullied at secondary school, both of my parents died unexpectedly, I really struggled with PND after having my baby & even now sometimes wonder when the 'good part' of life will start. But, it's all relative, I work with terminally ill people which makes me feel very ungrateful & I do need to check my 'poor me' mindset. I have turned out to be a kind, supportive and reliable person but that doesn't mean I still don't feel jealous or resentful at people who have it all together. I actively try to be more positive in life but also recognise we all struggle and some people have higher coping limits than other. I hope your situation improves soon OP it sounds tough.

Thank you, it was awful,the shock nearly killed me. We are slowly getting ourselves together. We would give anything to have him back.

Sounds very similar to how I lost my mum (and same age). Really sorry for you.

@NewNameWhoDis2 , you sound like an amazing volunteer

and @Justgetitoverwith , i really feel for you.

I have had a lot of trauma some now I can’t even talk about

I have good days and I have bad days

It’s all relative and tbh I find that time is a great healer for shit times - it becomes easier to accept it happened and look for the positives in a situation.

But to answer your question - it was a six month period in my life where both my parents caught covid and passed away (both young and unexpected though they were both vulnerable) and MIL also was diagnosed with cancer and passed away (with DH regularly travelling the length of the country to support her). Combined with lockdown, a lack of support and homeschooling all at the same time. And then having to arrange their funerals, manage their estates and sell their houses. Sometimes I wonder how I got through it all….

OP, I went through similar to you, and that time of having all the usual worries and then constantly being ill from what a little one brought home from nursery was one of the hardest times I've been through. It was like standing in the sea and being knocked over by a wave, and then another wave comes just as you're scrabbling to get up. Dragging yourself through the day when not feeling well is awful, and makes you feel like a terrible mum too. Make sure you're getting to bed early, and maybe a course of vitamins and just take care of yourself and wait it out. It will get better.

@Onceinnever

My shittest time was early 2019.

I had a job I'd worked my ass off in for 8 years but suddenly my manager, whom I'd always had a good relationship with, turned against me (he has personal issues that he didn't leave at the door and it was as if he was taking it out on me personally). I had all my responsibilities removed, I was moved from a role I'd made my own to a role that was far junior and I hated. My manager would ignore me for weeks (I started keeping a record) and when I finally asked him what was going on because I was struggling with the change, he told me he was too busy and had far more important things to deal with than talk to me.

I ended up crying at my desk because I hated it so much. The next Monday I walked out and I never went back. I got signed off for 8 weeks and found a new job.

2019 ended up being one of my best years.

It's all relative but the worst year I had included:
DH quitting his job (Didn't blame him, the job was impossible) which obviously meant that we had to find him another one.
This involved moving, selling the house, finding a new house. Then had to find a new school and nursery for the children.
I had to break my contract and leave my nice part time job which my employees were not happy about.
My mum had terminal cancer and died during this year.
I was being investigated for possible Ms.
Not a good year but we obviously got through it.

Sometimes a lot less can happen though and it feels insurmountable.

As a newly single mum, heartbroken after split from ex who turned out was cheating on me, getting Covid at the same time as my two kids and both the boiler and dishwasher broke. We all felt dreadful, were locked down, freezing and couldn't have showers. Then had a conversation with distant father who basically told me off about split from ex (more complicated than I can summarise here but was basically classic victim blaming/kicking a person when they're down). Felt like giving up.

Just to clarify, it was a stand out particularly low moment in an overrall difficult year.

Mine is now my dad died 2 weeks ago and to even get out of bed some days have been hard, having to go back to work instead of grieve because I don’t get paid if I’m not working

I had a miscarriage in April with a twin pregnancy at 9 weeks (currently 12 weeks pregnant again so that’s something positive) and that was a crappy time. It still is. We miscarried 3 weeks before our wedding day where we planned to reveal to everyone our pregnancy with 2 baby grows. Instead I grieved that day and had a awful honeymoon.

It is all relative. I struggled a lot with this during my grief. A lot of people like to tell you how much worse it can be, and of course it could be. But that doesn’t invalidate my awful time.

There is always someone better off or worse off than you right now but “just because someone has broken every limb in their body doesn’t mean that your broken arm doesn’t count”

Ime embrace being able to comfort your dc when they need you. Illness can cement your relationships. Being a family is a true gift. I had to watch my teen dc taken away from me by the police for a terrible crime. Being unable to be there for them has numbed me over the years.

Sorry you feel crap op. But most of your issues are lots of minor things at the same time. You can address those.

Some of the other posts are really bad. Gives perspective.

I had a shit few years, many years ago. It unfortunately culminated in one event, that I still can't get rid of the memory of me falling to my knees and sobbing. It still affects us all now. I'm still sad over it, and counselling hasn't helped.

Lynd

Having a virus can make you feel very down. I had flu a couple of weeks ago and felt very low at the same time. It’s hard but somewhere you need to try to find time for yourself, even 10 minutes to just sit and breathe. Or a family walk out in the countryside or forest or beach can really help ‘blow the cobwebs away’ and reset you.

I look back over my life and there are times when I was very content and others when I was sad. Life ebbs and flows. Losing both my parents quite young changed my perspective on life and I know what’s really important; good health, family and love.

Hope you feel better soon.

The slow loss of my husband to lung disease and dementia.

Currently dealing with painful and rare complications from a normally simple op, 2 separate weeks in hospital since the op 4 weeks ago, 4 weeks of pain and little sleep - it is a pretty shitty time for me.

@Oblomov22 please do tell me how I can address them... I'm all ears! Child has multivitamins, probiotics, ears a balanced diet. I have no choice but to work. Can't stop teething, all the pain relief possible is given...what else can I do? 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can't relocate to be near family. The only thing I can do is have long term birth control put in to stop things getting worse...which I have done!

If you read my posts I mention perspective...

And another, having to leave my newborn baby in hospital as I had whooping cough. I didn't see her for the first two weeks of her life. Not to mention the pain of coughing with stitches!

Sorry. That wasn't meant to be critical. It was supposed to be helpful. We can all recognise that many of us have similar. When life throws loads of things at us, and you feel a bit: come on now, enough.

When you've been ill, and then dc pick up everything going, that feels tough. But in 5 years you'll look back and realise that it was just part of the process. You're kids will hopefully be stronger for it, hardly any time off school in primary or secondary?

Oh OP, I'm so sorry you're having such a crap time. I remember the nursery days of continual illness well and they are absolutely bloody miserable.

My hardest days were my eldest (2 at the time) getting a life changing diagnosis that requires round the clock medical care and our second being born 4 weeks early that same weekend from the stress. DS2 then had milk and soy allergies (so completely understand how miserable that can be). Those first few months trying to juggle a screamy newborn and adjust to all this new medical stuff was really, really lonely and tough.

But things have got better since (still a lot of medical stuff but no more allergies, hooray!) and I really hope they do for you to. Sending you an unmumsnetty hug, it sounds like you're juggling a lot. Hope you feel much better soon