who looks after *You

[Thesesoundsfallintomymind]

Does anyone? If you’re ill etc, does anyone bring you drinks and food or a hot water bottle…
Do your parents ever care for you like this or in other ways, or has it stopped?
It seemed to reverse a few years ago with mine and even though they’re fit and healthy, the expectation is sort of there that they don’t look after/care for me as much now…hard to explain!
Dh is ok but only asks how I am, I’m bringing me anything and so on, probably only the dog and Dd, 4, occasionally notice.
Aibu to really miss the days of someone looking after you, just once…or the days of being able to be ill, without still looking after others (kids, dogs etc) and having to carry on with life.

*Who…forgot the capital and it was annoying me!

*No bringing me food and drinks

Noone but that's normal being an adult isn't it?

@ButterflyBiscuit I suppose, but would be nice now and again, wouldn’t it

No one. Hope a partner might in times of need/illness if I had one, but I don’t.

DH would attempt too but then if I was that ill he would be looking after our young children. Unfortunately my parents both require a lot of looking after now.

No one.
2 days after a hysterectomy I was making dinner and loading the dishwasher.

My parents have never exactly been the caring types but my husband is good at it. He’s not always great at expressing his feelings through his words and he’s 100% below average at picking presents but would do anything for me, especially if I’m under the weather.

DH would take over and make me a brew.

No-one.. thought that was normal. I had my womb out recently and did everything myself, except for childcare in first week. It's just being an adult!

No one. I’m married but not happily. Ds tries but he’s 11, tbh he’s lazy and indulged because I try to make up for the fact his dad is crap.
Emotionally I am close to my mum and one of my sisters. Practically, physically and financially no, I just crack on. I am often overwhelmed but no one would necessarily know.
When Ds and I had covid, my husband kept him self away from us but didn’t even check in on us. When he was very ill last year, I stepped up even more. I’m fucking knackered.

I would be nice if I had a partner to offer support when unwell but I don't have one, no family apart from my children. Unless I can't get out of bed, I carry on

I do, but also my friends and my dad. Partner doesn't, which is a major reason I'll leave once my ducks are lined.

@KangarooKenny That's nice 😊 I mean even something small like that, like ‘You put your feet up, go and have a rest, I’ll make you a drink’ such a simple thing

@CookPassBabtridge It is being an adult…but shouldn’t family care for one another? If my Dh had a major op, I’d bring him food and drinks to bed and so on…I’ve never had that

My DM would, but we don’t live in the same country.
DH would bring me food and drinks, but I’ll have to ask when I need something, he doesn’t have a bedside manner. He did well enough after my two c-sections.

My DH does. He's brilliant but it's taken him years to be this sort of tuned in.

DH would bring me food and drink/medication I hope! I'm rarely ill fortunately but I do worry how he would cope if I got seriously ill. He's not good with hospitals etc.

My husband does, he's a dab hand with the hot water bottle and the lemsip. Thank god for him.

Flipside is he's a massive baby when ill and I do all the bringing stuff, but I don't mind - that's the deal you make isn't it.

My dad was always pretty good at making sure I was fed/watered when ill, my mum not so much - she's awkward around illness but good at pouring out the wine when I'm well so can't complain.

I can’t believe the amount of people with a partner who doesn’t look after them when they are unwell, isn’t that the whole point of a partner? To love and support each other in sickness and health??

I recently had food poisoning, DH did everything for DC including getting out of the house as much as possible so it was quiet for me. He would bring me water and ice and when we was feeling a bit better went out and got me lots of different juice to give me some energy.
He obviously did all the housework, laundry, cooking for DC while I couldn’t.

I was just thing this. I don’t need or want to be looked after as such but when someone I care for is Ill or unhappy I would make sure they have all they need and that they are ok by checking in on them. I’ve been under the weather for the last few days and DH is in a massive strop with me. I see a lot of how his father treats MIL and I’m not going to hang around to live out my days that unloved.

My DH is first line of defense but sometimes you just need your mum so she will often come and take care of me when unwell and let DH deal with the kids.

if she isn’t available and DH is busy then my dad will often stay to help.

Dh really looks after me.
Ge makes sure I have a constant fresh beaker if water, my tablets nearby and something to eat nearby when he goes to work and I'm I'll ( like last week) He does every thing that needs doing while I sleep the sickness off.

if I’d had a serious illness and was bed bound my parents would definitely help and I have friends I could call on.

normal everyday coughs and colds, no one. Even when I was with exH I couldn’t rely on him. I once had a minor surgery as a day patient and had to get a taxi home. The taxi driver spent the entire car ride telling what a waste of space he was. Tbf, he wasn’t wrong.

No one. But I'm a lone parent. I try very hard to never get ill.