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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask her to turn her phone off loudspeaker?

59 replies

FattyAirways · 25/10/2022 08:29

I'm sat in Costa having a treat of a cup of tea. It's my relaxing time before work, but there's a lady on her phone. Now I don't begrudge anyone a phone conversation, but her phone is on loudspeaker and the person she is talking to is very loud! It's quite but a dampener on my treat. WIBU to ask her to turn it off loudspeaker?

OP posts:
Blueuggboots · 25/10/2022 08:30

Do it!!! How bloody rude!!
Whatever happened to putting a phone to your ear?! Or even going outside?!

RainbowsMoonbeams · 25/10/2022 08:30

YANBU

Who does that in a public place?!

CharlotteStreet · 25/10/2022 08:30

Go on I dare you!

(I bloody hate people who have their phones on speaker)

Willbe2under2 · 25/10/2022 08:30

YANBU. Alternatively, you could join in the conversation?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 25/10/2022 08:31

RainbowsMoonbeams · 25/10/2022 08:30

YANBU

Who does that in a public place?!

Lots of people,it's an absolute pet hate of mine!

AndyWarholsPiehole · 25/10/2022 08:31

I'd be tempted to join in the conversation.

luxxlisbon · 25/10/2022 08:31

I don’t know why you would put it on loud speaker in public but YABU for going to a costa for a quiet relaxing time.
This is no different to two people people sat near you chatting away.

Original poster
FattyAirways · 25/10/2022 08:33

It's so rude. She has finished her call now and is scrolling through social media with the sound on loud. I detest sone people. It's so rude!

OP posts:
WeepingSomnambulist · 25/10/2022 08:33

I would never have asked them when I was younger but now I have no fucks left to give and when someone is inconsiderate to others, I'm happy to tell them to pack it in. Quite often, they're too shocked they've been told off that they dont get snappy with their replies.
Good luck!

Original poster
FattyAirways · 25/10/2022 08:34

luxxlisbon · 25/10/2022 08:31

I don’t know why you would put it on loud speaker in public but YABU for going to a costa for a quiet relaxing time.
This is no different to two people people sat near you chatting away.

Except it is different because the sound from the phone is more tinny.

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 25/10/2022 08:34

Please for the love of god DO.

So rude, so entitled.

BIL does this - arrives with PIL, sits at the table where MIL and I are having a nice natter, and immediately phones his girlfriend who he left 90 mins ago on speaker. He is also a bit deaf. Every single time I have to say “Fred, do you mind?” I have a special spot under the patio with his name on it.

BruceAndNosh · 25/10/2022 08:34

luxxlisbon · 25/10/2022 08:31

I don’t know why you would put it on loud speaker in public but YABU for going to a costa for a quiet relaxing time.
This is no different to two people people sat near you chatting away.

The tinny sound of a phone loudspeaker is much worse than a normal voice

WeepingSomnambulist · 25/10/2022 08:35

luxxlisbon · 25/10/2022 08:31

I don’t know why you would put it on loud speaker in public but YABU for going to a costa for a quiet relaxing time.
This is no different to two people people sat near you chatting away.

It is different. The tinny/crackly/loudspeaker sound is much more grating than live voices chatting away. The over enunciation and louder voice people use when talking on loudspeaker is much more grating than people sitting hav

Eslteacher06 · 25/10/2022 08:35

Absolutely hate this and I have told people in the past. They have no idea and it is completely baffling

MillennialFalconer · 25/10/2022 08:35

This drives me mad. YANBU if you ask politely.

But as an aside, I used to wonder why so many people did this… until a few iOS updates ago. Now I can’t hear anything on my phone (iPhone XR) unless it’s on loudspeaker. So now I use headphones, because speakerphone in public is rude and annoying AF.

WeepingSomnambulist · 25/10/2022 08:36

*having a chat.

You usually cant hear what people are actually saying when they're just sitting chatting. You can always hear every word from a phone call, especially on loudspeaker.

PAFMO · 25/10/2022 08:36

Not U to think it.
You would be U to do it.
Ultimately it's no different to two people having a loud conversation in front of you.
And I'm someone who doesn't even have a ringtone but keep my phone on silent. I also book quiet carriages on trains.

Igmum · 25/10/2022 08:37

YANBU.

I do this at home because I can't hear a thing otherwise but use headphones in public.

Getoff · 25/10/2022 08:39

luxxlisbon · 25/10/2022 08:31

I don’t know why you would put it on loud speaker in public but YABU for going to a costa for a quiet relaxing time.
This is no different to two people people sat near you chatting away.

A lot of people speak a lot louder on the phone than they would to someone sitting next to them. They don't even realise they're doing it. (Although this is an issue with phone conversations generally, not related to using loudspeaker.)

Getoff · 25/10/2022 08:41

Also, a phone conversation would be annoying even if it wasn't on loudspeaker. Not sure why, maybe because you can only hear one side, your brain wants to fill in the gaps, so it commands your attention in the way that a two-sided conversation doesn't.

Getoff · 25/10/2022 08:42

Ultimately it's no different to two people having a loud conversation in front of you.

But that's very wrong also, so it doesn't justify it.

Afterfire · 25/10/2022 08:45

I can’t stand this. And people that do it on public transport too. Awful. I sat next to someone on a train doing this for 2 hours over the weekend. Get some bloody headphones! 😣

sageandrosemary · 25/10/2022 08:47

The only thing I will say, is that I had a time when my phone would only work for calls on loudspeaker or with headphones in so if I'd forgot my headphones and needed to take the call, loudspeaker it was. I turned it down as low as possible and I would try to be as discreet and as quick as I could though.

Not sure of the nature of her call obviously but just to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Radiatorvalves · 25/10/2022 08:48

My dad is deaf and does this (not out though) and I tell him not to do it at my house. I’d tell the woman to stop and have done so before in our local curry house. The owner thanked me. The Roman seemed oblivious to the fact it was rude and intrusive.

GreyElephantsWearingYellowPyjamas · 25/10/2022 08:50

I asked a young lad to turn off his music on the bus a few years ago and the little gobshite gave me a right mouthful. It was his ‘right’ to play music and ‘why should he?’. I just gave up in the end. Also, it’s NEVER good music either. I feel like a music playlist is quite personal and don’t want to share it with others.

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