To ask her to turn her phone off loudspeaker?

[FattyAirways]

I'm sat in Costa having a treat of a cup of tea. It's my relaxing time before work, but there's a lady on her phone. Now I don't begrudge anyone a phone conversation, but her phone is on loudspeaker and the person she is talking to is very loud! It's quite but a dampener on my treat. WIBU to ask her to turn it off loudspeaker?

Maybe she can't use her phone if it's silent?

People who do this astound me, absolute rude, entitled behaviour.

Blast her back out of your phone for a few minutes. It's the only way to get through to these people. I do it regularly now and it nearly always stops them. They looks affronted and offended and then turn theirs down as two people doing this at once in a small area creates a terrible cacophony which will also offend them.

Very annoying and this is why I take headphones absolutely everywhere.
Music, podcast, white noise if necessary. Sometimes a combination!!

It's often louder than a normal conversation.

I don't talk to people on speaker myself, but it doesn't bother me when people do. I wouldn't go to a costa to relax though, I would go for a stroll in a park or something if I wanted peace and quiet.

How annoying! You’re not being unreasonable. However…. It could be her phone only works on loud speaker … my old one started doing this just as I was due an upgrade. Couldn’t hear a thing on the ear piece. Had to put loud speaker on. I was embarrassed about it though and only rang people in the comfort of my own home 😂 she’s being rude.

I do it ALL THE TIME! if we, the normal, considerate people who realise you can’t use your phone in a public space the way you can in your own car or home do not fight back - all is lost.

Im sorry love I don’t want to hear your tik tok soubds, last week’s eastenders or your cousin in Bognor.

Eh? It’s a cafe not a call centre

Perhaps they are elderly and have hearing difficulties

Exactly - it’s completely different. You need to make noise to have a conversation and even that should be conducted in a moderate considerate way. You can however talk to someone on the phone without loudspeaker. If your phone is “broken” get it fixed or use it in private.

Maybe she is partially deaf and needs loud speaker to hear properly. As much as it annoys you, I don't see how you can tell someone else how loudly they talk or have their phone on loud speaker in a public place.

I don't know why people do this. I saw a lot of it on holiday, but even worse loud video calls that went on for ever and were so cringe to listen to.

To be fair a lot of people use ear buds and bluetooth these days. The idiots who should know better use the speaker. I would be mortified to have my conversations broadcast all over the place like that, but maybe that's just me!

Anyway, I got the hump one day on the train. A woman was carrying on a bullshit convo about work, and seemed to raise her voice with every sentence. I lost my rag and said to her something like "Thanks for sharing all that bullcrap with everyone, but we have no interest in hearing about your inconsequential life, so button it". I was literally shaking that I had the bottle to say it, but sometimes perimenopause allows you to be direct.... Woman went bright red and shuffled phone into pocket.

It is just all getting far too selfish and self awareness is gone out the window.

Sadly I have to always use the loudspeaker on my phone as I have very bad hearing coupled with tinnitus which makes life hell. But, I would never, ever use my phone to make or receive calls in a cafe or space where it would disturb other people. I normally go outside and find a quiet spot where people will not be disturbed or irritated by it.

So yes, in short, she was being very rude and disrespectful to the other people around her and you have every right to ask her to keep the volume down especially in the close indoor confines of a coffee shop.

I can visualise it clearly. Bit of lumpy patio with a decorative stone next to it that says, “FRED 1967-2022 He never minded, but we sure as hell did.”

Oh goodness OP, now you’ve made me dread my 7 hours on the train tomorrow (3 1/2 hours each way)!! Not a journey by choice but work related.

You’ve reminded me that on the same journey a few years ago 3 women got on and occupied the spare 3 seats at my table. Fine; that’s what they’re for. But said women spent an hour shrieking at each other at the tops of their voices while I sat quietly watching a film through earphones (I’d checked they didn’t bleed sound). 2 of the women then got off and the third asked me quite stroppily to turn off my film because the hiss from my earphones was annoying her! I was too gobsmacked to say anything!

My five year old GC sort of did that to a man on the bus yesterday. She has hearing issues (waiting aides) and couldn't work out what was going on. She's also dyspraxic and delayed etc. He quickly turned off his loud speaker. Headphones are cheap enough so you don't have to share with the world.

Someone did this in a sauna recently, I was in there alone then he came in and started watching something on his phone. I waited about 10 seconds to see if he'd done it by mistake but it was clear after then he hadn't so I asked him if he had earphones with him. He apologised grumpily.

What a dick. I wasn't going to let him get away with it because I didn't want to upset him. There are several signs at the spa to say no calls, filming, videos etc. Think we all need to stop this becoming acceptable.

This drives me bananas. These people are morons.

I asked one to turn off her speaker on a packed bus a couple of months ago. She was scrolling through social media videos. When I spoke to her, she seemed really surprised that it was an issue but did immediately turn the sound off.

I had this before with a woman using it in a hospital outpatients waiting room.
If it was a teenager I’d sort of understand, but it was a middle aged woman who was watching bloody insta videos on a reel, so the music changed every bloody 30 seconds! I was about to wring her neck ask her to turn it down then she got called in.

This is 100% pleb behaviour. They have no self awareness or consideration of others.

Of course you can, noise pollution is a huge problem, and headphones exist so should be used.

That aside, my phone's normal setting is quite loud, I am not sure that some phones are actually on loudspeaker as you can hear mine quite clearly when it's not. It just gets a bit louder on loudspeaker. But I wouldn't try and have a phone conversation in any public place other than "train late can you please pick me up at x time" - and even then I'd probably send a message.

It's rude in public, and I hope she tells the other person they're on speaker. I hate when people put you on speaker without telling you.

I wish that it became a thing whereby if someone is having a conversation on loudspeaker then it becomes a free for all for those around them. I'd love to see random folk chiming in on conversations and watch the indignation of the receiver. It's so bloody rude.

My friend puts everyone on loudspeaker every time, I cannot have a private conversation with her at all, she also will interrupt to speak to someone else in her home. I don't phone her at all now.

Manners appear to be a thing of the past.

I hate that too. It is rude to the person on speaker and all the other people around them.