To think it’s rude to comment on someone’s food?

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We eat lunch as a team and they without fail comment on my lunch.

I have a severe eating disorder. I can’t stomach certain textures, smells, look. Wish I wasn’t like this but I am. It takes a lot for me to be sat around people eating food.

100% that no one will know I have an ED but surely you don’t comment on someone’s lunch?

Yea but people do, eating lunch together and 'what are you having' is probably the number one question. Depending on the comments you could try saying you are on a special restricted regime.

It’s pretty normal to comment I’d say. Whether it’s rude or not depends on how well you get on with your coworkers, ideally people would stick to complements but unfortunately there’s no shortage of twats who’ll just blurt out whatever shite’s in their head at a given moment, or even delude themselves they’re highly entertaining comics with their ‘banter’ 🙄

It's like discussing the weather

Do they comment on your lunch in a mean or judgemental way, or in a curious, friendly kind of way?

Depends.
"Oh what's that, that looks boring/ugly/tasteless" is rude and totally not ok.
"What are you having? Ah! Ok" is just normal conversation

Do you have to eat lunch with the team? Can't you take yourself off somewhere else to eat?

I totally agree.

Dh and his family ALWAYS comment on food - oh that's lot/odd combination/weird/whatever and it drives me insane.

They are very judgmental over food.

Just don't say anything!

What kind of comments are they making? Hard to say if they’re BU without context

I think it's quite normal to say 'ooh what are you having for lunch?' or 'that looks nice! Leftovers?' or similar.

If however yours is the only lunch they're commenting on and they're saying 'that looks crap' then of course it's rude.

Is it the former or the latter?

I hate it, but generally it's normal in working class circles. Just ask politely for them not to comment on your food because you find it really stressful as you're on a restricted diet due to a medical condition. If they carry on they're cunts.

I would say it's normal small talk.
What are you eating?

WTF has class got to do with it?

Depends. “what’s on your sandwich” = not rude. “Eewwwweee gross how could you ever eat cheese you freak” = rude.

Yes, I would find that annoying too. Same as it’s annoying when the checkout staff at the supermarket comment on what you buy. Just scan the bar code and let me pack it away. I’m not up for a discussion on whether it’s nice. Obvs I must think it is or I wouldn’t be buying it.

On mumsnet. Everything.

Depends on how they're asking. "What do you have today?" Okay.

"That looks odd" not okay.

What comments are made?

I understand what you mean. I've struggled with eating disorders and find it hard to eat in public. It's even worse when people make comments

What are you eating and what are they saying about it?

In my experience working in an office, most people are regimented about their lunches and tend to have the same thing day after day.

Just pretend you're vegan (I am) and then start extolling the virtues of veganism! They'll stop asking you anything about food pretty quickly 😀

OP, is it ARFID?

If the comments are “what are you having?” Or “ooh, that looks good” then I can appreciate that you might still feel uncomfortable but they are very much part of normal conversation. If the comments are negative, they’re being rude. If it’s “isn’t that what you had every day last week” then they’re treading a fine line between the two.

Normally the consequences of commenting - even in an overfamiliar and slightly rude way - are minimal, so it's not considered rude, not like saying, "God you look fat!" for example.

In your case - is it ARFID? - the stakes are different though. You have a difficult & distressing condition which you didn't ask for.
What do they do if you agree and say,
"Yes, my meals are unusual, doctor's orders though I'm afraid!" and then shut down any further stuff with saying you don't want to go into personal medical matters at work - do they back off or are they just unfeeling louts?

I imagine your doctor would advise you to eat stuff for lunch which didn't make you gag in public so it's true enough...

I hate it, I automatically feel judged. Its probably my problem though, as most people seem to just regard it as small talk.

I used to eat my lunch in the car because I couldn't cope with comments. I highly recommend CBT.