To think it’s rude to comment on someone’s food?

[ChapterNexf]

We eat lunch as a team and they without fail comment on my lunch.

I have a severe eating disorder. I can’t stomach certain textures, smells, look. Wish I wasn’t like this but I am. It takes a lot for me to be sat around people eating food.

100% that no one will know I have an ED but surely you don’t comment on someone’s lunch?

Legend

I don't agree. People have different tastes. To tell something food looks disgusting/gross etc., is very immature and excuse the pun, but so distasteful.

There's loads of food I hate. But if someone else was eating it, I would never say 'ewwww, that's vile' or whatever.

It's perfectly normal to comment on other peoples food when eating communally. Weird not to, in fact.

Only if something like "Ooh, that smells/looks nice" in passing.

Making negative comments is really childish and/or bullying. If you think somebody else's food looks/smells unpleasant, as an adult, you instinctively know to just say nothing - unless it really is extreme to the point of making you feel sick.

Unless a fleeting/non-committal compliment, clearly not expecting a reply, I hate it when people feel the need to pass comment on a mundane choice that you've made. It's one of the reasons that I prefer to use self-service checkouts - because so many people find it necessary to make a running commentary on your shopping. It just gets so tedious and makes you feel you have to justify a perfectly normal purchase; you really can't be the first person to want to buy a selection of the goods that are sold in the shop that they work in - if that genuinely surprises or perturbs them, maybe working in a shop isn't the job for them.

Pretty sure non-working class people also talk about their lunches.

Since it's bothering OP, I think it's safe to assume they aren't making friendly comments, but more something along the lines of "why do you always eat xxxxx?" or comments on whether or not her food choices seem healthy or appealing to them, personally.

And in that case, they are being unreasonable to pass comment. It's probably not done with malice, but still could be annoying or embarrassing. As everyone's suggested, telling them you're on a special diet is the way to go. Then change the subject, every time.

Snobby much. I won't write what I going to.... because I don't want to upset OP by directing it to your working class comment.

I hate this. It’s so tedious - yes normal chit chat what you having ooh that looks nice but not analysing & judging which some people do unfortunately.
I’d try & take lunch later or earlier than this dullard with nothing better to do than comment on what you’re putting in your mouth.

Yes people comment if some one is eating something that's not 'the norm' I'd say 'I have a health condition that restricts my diet' if they probe further just say it's not really suitable conversation for eating and then change the subject.

Oh God, office banter and commentary on lunches is so boring – the No.1 reason I’ll WFH forever is to avoid the inane lunchtime “what are you having, that looks weird, oh you’re being good today, oh you’re being naughty today, unusual I couldn’t eat that” chat. Terminally dull on top of the potential for making people uncomfortable. Just shut up and let people eat, talk about anything else.

I actually think it's very lower middle class. The aristos and UMs will likely be eating food somebody else eg: the staff have prepared, they have no eye on the cost or nutritional value of what they eat, it is quite simply someone else's problem. The (traditional) working class largely eat what they can afford and are more likely to have lunch provided at work via a canteen or similar, some trades still regularly go out for breakfast. Only the (lower) middles spend time and money on lunch brought from home and therefore more likely to comment on others.

My mum was the food police. She commented every time I ate a snack… “A minute between your lips - a lifetime on your hips.” and other delightfully supportive platitudes like that. She chose to drink instant coffee and chain-smoke instead of eating because she was anorexic oddly enough I swung between underweight and morbidly obese. I’m just fine now. I’m so careful to ensure that I foster enjoyment of healthy food with my kids now, but it’s so hard watching my teenage DD dealing with binge eating, putting on weight and dealing with low self-esteem as a result. I don’t know how to handle this one the right way.

It’s fairly standard to get shitty comments from insecure people about what you picked from the staff canteen in jobs with a staff canteen, especially if they think you don’t “eat enough” or eat “too much”. 🤷‍♀️
Personally I think its rude and coarse so I can see why people are making class distinctions.

Well that is just rude then isn't it. I was thinking more in terms of " that looks nice, how did you make it?" , oh I love feta/edame beans/quinoa how did you get it so perfect?". Or " I never thought of bringing fermented herring in, how original". Harder to make it in to a platitude if it's all cooked on site.

"Working class circles" this place is class mad and it's getting worse.

Perfectly normal when a group is eating together, oh what have you got today, ooh that looks nice, ooh not sure I’d like that. I’d just go elsewhere to eat if it’s a problem

Wherever I’ve worked it’s been far more expensive to buy food from a canteen or local cafe than bring it from home.

Brits: "we have massive issues when class dictates our life and is negative influence"
Also Brits: Make class their main personality and ensure every topic has class mentioned in no matter how ridiculous it actually is

This is bullshit. The hospital canteens are extortionate lots of med staff can't afford the canteen twice daily 4 times a week!

@Realityloom did you mean to quote me?

Rude and coarse and working class are really not the same things.

We have this at work. It is annoying.

Surely it depends on the comment

’what are you eating there’ not rude

’eww that looks gross’ rude

I am similar with food and it’s a weekly highlight for my colleagues to make bets on how plain my lunch will be that day! All a bit of fun. Try not to get so worked up about something so silly

Yes I hate this. I'm not a particularly fantastic cook but I do ok and enjoy making healthy stuff to bring into work. I detest when people walk in mid bite and start looking/asking what your eating. Just kiss off and leave me alone, it makes me really self conscious for some reason

ARFID, right? Sorry OP. I have it though perhaps not as severely as you. I feel like its most misunderstood eating disorder in the world. No I'm not anorexic. No I don't think I fat. No I'm not going to eat that. Please stop commenting.

What is ARFID?

I thinking asking what your having etc is fine. Discussing general food likes and dislikes is fine.

It is rude to comment that something is disgusting, weird, statements such as "I would never eat that".