Why are people so obsessed with adults only doing adult things?

[SirMoose]

Sat through another meal tonight with family where everyone made fun of my husband for skating. He takes it well and doesn’t let on that it makes him feel bad but I know it does. He has a great job, is a great husband and father, does his share of housework etc. I don’t see why it matters what he chooses to do in his down time. Does anyone else think like this or is it just our weird family? I feel like people do think like this a lot especially the way adults liking Disney etc is viewed in here but I just don’t get it.

Using Aibu for the poll.

yanbu- being over 18 is what makes you an adult nothing else

yabu- skating is for kids and he should grow up.

I am 50 + and love jigsaws and colouring in! Life is hard enough without having some fun times!

Oh please, when adult life is 95% about being age appropriate, who cares what you do with the other 5%. I love Disney movies still, and even watch programs like Lizzie Mcguire, That's so Raven from time to time and I am 32 now. My younger brother also skates (Skateboarding) and he is 27. Causing no harm, and if it makes you feel better, then go for it I say.

This reminds me of a time when I was in my early 20’s on the bus. A friend of a friend skated by who would have been mid 20’s and there were a couple of teenagers with one saying to the other ‘omg that’s so embarrassing, that’s like seeing your dad on a skateboard’. And I was like WTF am I old!

Anyway there’s one thing worse than teenagers thinking anyone over 21 is ancient, and that’s adults who insist on talking about how old they’re getting, give up on life, and then project this on to everyone else!

In my experience, the people who take the piss are just insecure. They’ve decided that an activity is stupid/childish/below them, and for some unknown reason they fear that somebody else doing it will somehow reflect it back onto them.

If anyone thinks skating is only for kids, they need to watch some roller derby.

Yanbu although I don’t know anyone who takes the piss about adults enjoying skating or Disney!

i was just thinking today that if they made adventure play grounds / soft play type things for adults more accessible then it’d probably cure the obesity crisis. Exercise is fun for kids climbing up exciting play equipment and coming down slides….adults are just expected to mindlessly work out on a boring treadmill at the gym.

I would have been horribly judgemental about this in my 20s. We were all sheep, and we made fun of anyone who didn't follow the norm. Even if I didn't really enjoy or understand the norm. I think I had a lack of confidence to follow my own path, and that manifested in joining in with all the teasing.

Now that I'm old, have grown up and lived a bit, I actually think it's a sign of strong character to go, 'sod it, I know what I like' and to do just that.

So yeah, maybe I'd judge your OH for skating, but I'd think, 'Good on him for having a hobby he actually gives a shit about - I wish I had an equivalent.'

It's funny how circular we are with our attitudes... they definitely change over time!

Growing old is compulsory, growing up
is optional.

I do a lot of things people bitch at me for doing because I’m too old. The problem is theirs not mine. If your OH has the physical capability to skate then long may he do so.

I know skateboarders in their 60s, I know rollerbladers in their 50s, I have a friend who took up parkour at 45. Who cares? We’re a long time dead and life is for living.

Would never take the piss out of anyone for doing something that makes them happy and doesn’t harm anyone else. Life is a grind sometimes, take the joy where you can.

I would pull your family up on it, I play with lego, play pokemon go, roller skate very badly I would love to go zorbing at some point.

Some of it is with my son, when he gets bored of it, if I am still enjoying, I do it

I find adults that don’t have hobbies or interests a lot more tragic. I love hearing people talking about things they’re passionate about or hobbies that give them joy - no matter what the hobby is.

Where did it say it was my family?

I find skating has suddenly become 'acceptable' again (just to be clear, I've always found it acceptable), I know a few adults including myself who have taken it up recently (though I'm still plucking up the courage to try the skate park).

Of course any adult should be able to do any hobby they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

However I find mumsnet has a few double standards around this. I've had a push scooter a few years and before electric scooters were massive and people were used to seeing adults scoot everywhere, there were a few threads about them on the school run. For me it cuts a 25 min walk each way by half and raises my heart rate and enables me to keep up with the kids on bikes (near main roads so not safe otherwise.) And I'm sure lots of people are in a similar position. But loads of posters were like 'outwardly I'd say 'oh great it must be so quick' but inside I'd be thinking 'looks like an idiot trying to recapture their youth, leave it for the kids'.

And threads about gaming. If someone is complaining their husband games all the time instead of spending time with the family you get a load of 'gaming is for teenagers' or 'gaming is so unattractive it's for losers' type thing rather than accepting that no hobby that regularly keeps you from your young family for extended periods is an issue not the actual nature of the hobby itself.

So although lots of people on here are saying it's fine, I'm not sure they actually mean it!

Your first sentence:
'Sat through another meal tonight with family where everyone made fun of my husband for skating"

But regardless, they were being rude and the whole point of being an adult is doing what you like, as long as it's not hurting anyone or inappropriate

Life is fucking grim right now. If you can find joy in something then grab it with both hands and run with it!

People can be really joyless.

Yes, "family", not "my family" so could as easily be her in-laws as her parents.

It was his family, it wasn’t clear.

Although we are married so they are my family too.

It just annoys me, especially as it was the younger brother doing most of the slagging off and he’s had his ass wiped for him his whole life.

They sound like boring fuddy duddies. Ignore and unfriend.

My favourite people, and the ones I gravitate to and instantly feel joy in my heart to see on the street, are the people who wear whatever the fuck they want regardless of age or anything else. I love it. I love the look on peoples’ faces when they truly enjoy something, too. The look of glee and abandon. Kids have it all the time. Adults get embarrassed and try to control their emotions… which is great when it’s things like not having tantrums but not when we lose that type of joy. I love people who let go creatively, who make room in their lives for play, for imagination.

Especially- although I think all adults have it, still, especially- those who didn’t have that chance in childhood. Learning to feel wildly happy when you’ve never felt it until adulthood, learning to play when you didn’t get the chance. Even buying yourself toys you wanted when you were five and didn’t get back then. It fulfils the part of you that still remembers being five and wanting things just because they were fun.

Those are the people I want in my life.

I came on to say is it roller derby!!! Most definitely an adult sport, I love it!!

I love talking to people about their hobbies. I don't care what your hobby or interest is just have one 😁 I might draw the line at talking to someone about cycling but hey, at least you're out doing something.

Your DH would fit in well with my family. We have at least 3 Disney fanatics, 2 Pokémon collectors and 3 gamers. SIL and I are the boring ones as she crochets and baked and I knit and sew!

My dad would absolutely think that skating as an adult was odd and wouldn’t understand. DH loves football and he dad made fun of him for ages about it (he’s a rugby fan). But he still watches the scores and makes note of the table so he can talk to DH about it. Which is my dad’s way of accepting it!

Life is short and for living so do what you enjoy wether it’s skating, surfing or getting drunk in the pub. Do what makes you happy. Life can be shit. Finding the fun make it all a bit more bearable right now

Those who take the piss have obviously no interests themselves ( bar being over invested in other peoples business)

Who thinks skating is for kids?

Why? How odd

It's a great cardio workout and fun and great for your legs!

I am fifty and still have my own pair of roller blades and ice skates

I wish I had his confidence to do things. I have zero hobbies. My family are a lot more horrible and growing up I was never allowed to do anything that might embarrass them or me and now I can’t do anything.